I've no time to blog or what nowadays . so i guess i won't be doing much after this anytime soon . and i'm not at church today, since last sunday my life is such a roller coaster ride . too many things have been happening to me lately . and they're all horrible things, distracting me . especially what happenind last sunday, 19th august . went out with Sha and Adrina before service , and something happened that changed our lives, we never made it to church. the rest of our sunday was ruined , being stuck in that horrible place for hours. It was just so scary , and i felt so many feelings i never felt before that day, and this past week . anxiety, anger , fear, shame , guilt . i've let everyone down . but then again, we've all got to accept our own consequences . maybe it was a good things that it happened , or else we'd never stop anyway . and my parents too , how disappointed they were, made me feel even worse. but Sha and Adrina , i still love the both of you no matter what happens . i'll never forget this experience , and even though i just have this feeling we're not going to be that close now onwards , i'll never forget you guys and all the things we went through together and the past two years . one day when we're all much older , hopefully we'll get the chance to look back together at all our experiences and realise how much we've been through , and even laugh about them .

Now what i really have to do is get my life back on track again. I've been such a different person the past month . and now i really thank God for having so much mercy on us, as things could've been much worse. and now there's my parents, aunty clare , the church all praying and helping me . how could i ever thank God enough , after what i've done? But i'm glad that God and everyone else is giving me a second chance , and a new beginning too, in terms of church and my walk with God . I can't wait , but yet i feel really terrible to leave everyone behind . because they were the ones who helped and moulded me first . and perhaps , i'm sorry that i've got to do this . it hurts when you think about it . next week , i really wonder what the outcome will be , but i really pray God's mercy will be on all three of us , and nothing will happen .

The other thing now is the whole Biology tuition controversy . Gosh, this whole thing that happened really made me , and Mich too , think twice about who we trust and believe , especially guys . never did we expect to meet someone that cunning , manipulative , hypocritical . and this has distracted us greatly from our wonderful study plans . but its okay, cause we gonna go through this together and not let this dramarama incident affect us ! we're gonna concentrate on our studies and be best friends with it for the next 2 months ! and at the end of this whole incident , we've really became smarter and not as gullible before . that will teach guys not to mess with barbie doll and polly princess HAHAH , anyway guys are jerks . be sceptical of all of them . thats what we learnt .