i havent been blogging! anyway ,

SUNDAY

it was the usual today. met up with sha instead. after service , went to the food fair at expo with cell . then headed down to raffles city with tiff and sha for awhile . finally changed my moolah for shopping! (: then it was home.

MONDAY

chinese O's ! it was okay i guess . haha oh wells , but during it i couldnt help thinking about the outing with mich and lianne later! after the paper, went home first. and we met up like 5plus, super late la! then trained down to fareast , but somehow they didnt have much to offer so went to vivo instead . had loads of fun there (: went to tangs and i bought this cute sleepwear with hearts all over it! hahaha love the dressing room! omg one of them had a pole in it! you know , for pole dancing! and with leopard prints and feather boas!

then went for dinner at secret recipe . waited damn long to get a table, for the food, for the bill, for everything ! a hungry person is an angry person. so that was how we felt. it was real late after that, so rushed around the place. bought accessories at diva. and finally got a new wallet from topshop! (: yayyay! haha walked around more but all the shops were closing already. we felt damn lazy so decided to take a cab home! and this was the most piss offing part! we decided to flag from the roadside but we couldnt get any cabs . so we crossed over to the other side of the road, still no cabs! and suddenly we saw 9 empty cabs passed by at the original place we were waiting! so we crossed back to the other side, and just as we did , someone from the other side of the road got a cab in like less than a minute! and so we decided to cross back again . we did this like about 6times , and were hell fedup . like all the cabs were playing some game with us i swear. it was completely ironic . in total we waited 45 wonderful minutes. until we decided we'd had enough and took matters in our own hands and just literally jumped into an empty cab at the traffic light ! hahah reached home at around 11plus, tired but happy. still havent finished shopping anyway!

TUESDAY

had chem tuition in the afternoon with lianne before heading down to parkway for dinner . after which went blading with shawn , tiffy and sha at east coast. it was such a good workout (: i wanna go again another night! then mom came and fetched us home .

me and linette waited till it was 12 to call nic to sing her a birthday song ! it still wasnt perfect though (: haha

hahahaa after that was impulsive. tuesday night (: wednesday morning . i need more .

WEDNESDAY

happy bithday nicole!

overslept in the morning so didnt go for chem . until nic called and asked to go town together with lin . so impulsive again , didnt have much time though . so went for a quick lunch at the hongkong cafe place at cine . before rushing like mad back down to school for chem tutorials . hahhaha tutorials was so funny! (: then after had dental at parkway , hahah bought 3 tops thanks to mom ! (:

TODAY

mich came over today . we studied one chapter of bio ! (: then made loads of study and shopping plans for the hols (: nothing much though . argh i'm bored . and kinda confused as well , though i already know what i want. hmm after talking to sha on tuesday night . thanks for all the advice babe! sigh yeah tmr i have such a long day at school ! emaths , amaths and chem lessons ! all until 3.30pm :( then there's another 3 hours of bio tuition at night . but i shall at least go buy something from diva then it'll prolly not be so bad (: hah

I . CAN'T . WAIT . FOR . MONDAY .

its gonna be a shop-till-you-drop , live-the-life, luxurious-glamorous day ! made plans with mich and lianne just now . and gosh i cannot wait ! so so excited (: hahahahaah but its chinese o's too, but who cares, that shall be my motivation !

hahaha our wonderfully brilliant idea (: trust us to come up with something like that! CREATIVE PEOPLE (:

well , right now i shall just continue studying chinese. yes , studying chinese.

had our last chinese tuition with diana just now . haaaa hell funny. we made her repeat dont know how many times the explanation till she was frustratingly pointing vigourously at the paper! it was hilarious (: and her boring life stories too. oh wells , till then !

over slept yesterday so didnt go to school . haha anyways there wasnt anything much . so nothing missed out (:

had chinese tuition early in the morning today . yay only a few more days before i'll be chinese free for the rest of my life . yeah then went to school to get report books . but met up with sylvie first cos we're supposed to see the PRINCIPAL . argh , well thanks to our results la. anyway meeting with principal was like weird and piss offing ! because she laughed at me when i told her my l1r5 and where i wanted to go after o's . she said with my l1r5 , do i even think i can make it to poly ? but still she actually laughed , in a half-hysterical and sarcastic manner ! and she also said quite a few unpleasant thingys to sylvie too . and then when we got up to leave , she screamed 'NEXT!' to ask for the next person who was supposed to go in and see her . like as if she 's some huge celebrity calling out for her fans to come on in . in other words , she totally did not behave like a principal .

then waited real long for mom to come and went upstairs for the meeting with lopez . surprisingly , she was really really nice today . like motivated me and stuff . argh but then , she said that i've become very chatty in class and what not and she even said she's gonna separate me and sylvie soon ! humph nooooo ! but thats not true , its only during her lessons that we talk the most ! haha (: anyway i'm not the last in class (: haha finally made a little improvement there !

anyways i'm bored shit . today there's late night shopping in town! and i'm not there ): there wasnt bio tuition tonight . and i could have GONE shopping instead if mom didnt know about the cancelled tuiton ! argh . and the gss starts today! omg ! nevermind i'm going shopping after chinese o's on monday! cant wait (: yay that can be my motivation !

anyway i'm sick and tired . messing with our minds . saying one thing and meaning the other . i'm not a risk taker . i need assurance . flings are all about risks , not relationships . if you cant give me that , then well . . . is there any point ?

yesterday was love . met sylvie again on the way to church and we camwhored out in the open . hahahah we realised it was kinda embarrassing after awhile , but who cares ! hhaha i still love her! (: then went for service with adrina . after service was hell fun . we were laughing and laughing non stop about absolutely retarded things , like the orange specs 'eyebrows' and uncle bobby ! HAHAHAHHAH (: yeah it was just pure laughter and fun , until i realised i left my phone in the toilet and couldnt find it ! but thank God some hot guy , accordding to her (: hahah found it and returned my dear phone !

i really want things to turn out well. i don't want us to lose each other again . just when my feelings for you are starting to grow more and more again, things like these has to happen . i'm not blaming you, its not your fault. but its painful . i want this second chance to turn out well . maybe it'll strengthen us. but i really dont know . but all i really hope for is that it will not end like a thread left hanging and that we'll last , of course .

if i didn't love you , my tears wouldn't be falling tonight .

Last Night - girls night out

came home after bio tuition and chatted with Sha. we decided to catch a late night movie (: so off we went to cine to catch the 2.05am blades of glory show . haha it was the funniest gayest shit on earth ! laughed till our heads dropped off . which was great beacause it took my mind off certain things . sigh. but anyways after the show we just strolled down the empty town till we decided to get home . it was love (:

Flames to dust
Lovers to friends
Why do all good things come to an end?



I hoped I wouldn't have to ask myself that question again.
But here I am , wondering why am I putting myself through all this disappointment.

left me hanging from time and time again

i've sworn off giving

i'm tired of everything

the hardest part is letting go

i'm not at school today too (: okay but this time i really had that weird stomach ache thing in the morning . woke up like super late and spent the whole day not doing any productive stuff . like studying and exercising . oh wells everyone needs to relax anyway , just that i've already been relaxing alot . and tmr we're gonna get back all our exam papers . i found out that i failed chem , and probably more too. and nic just reminded me about the promise i made before midyears . sigh . maybe overall i'll do well , but its unpredictable . sigh how how how . i'm clueless now ):

i'm not at school today (: because because well i just didnt feel like it . after yesterday's stupid haircut and all . feel so shit . yeah so yesterday went to centrepoint with mom to do our hair . i'm so freaking pissed with that stupid hairstylist . like how many million times i had to tell him not to cut my fringe so short , but yet he still did ! WTF now i look like an idiot thanks to him . now i have to pin my fringe up thanks to him ! i hate this . f*** my hair is horrible now . but luckily the rest of the hair on my head is fine . i'm never letting that guy touch my hair again , and both times he did my hair , he still disappointed me . i'm learning my lesson this time . i'm never going back there . argh always cutting hair in his own way . and many other freakin things in my life too . wthhhhhhh fcuking pissed off .

anyway after my horrible haircut , met sylvie and we went off shopping . luckily i met her not anyone else , she made me feel better (: walked to taka and we got sa's present then walked around and looked at clothes . and we felt so tempted by pepper lunch that we went to eat there , promising ourselves that no dinner tonight for us (: haha then went back to meet mom while sylvie continued shopping . sigh i'm so jealous ): she got to spent 200+bucks on clothes ! but its okay cos i'm going shopping very soon ! (:

i need retail therapy to help me get over my hair and pass time while it grows back .




well actually we took loads of pics . but since i've pinned up my fringe , there's no way i'm gonna post it here .

yayyay tmr's a marking day (: no school (: gonna cut hair and get sa's present with sylvie. anyways today at school! sighhhh now everyone knows . okay maybe not everyone , but more people than i would expect to know , know it . oh wells . i feel really bad about it . and i'm really really sorry for letting you guys down . but i really appreciate it that you all care so much! i really didnt expect it (: but even though you all are quite disappointed in me and stuff , and like you guys said breaking five hearts is worse than breaking one , i'm so sorryyyyy . and i love you guys tons and loads okay! thankyou for still planning to be there for me if things do end badly . but of course hopefully not ! because this time my instincts tell me something else , and i trust it . so yeahh , if not i wouldnt rush into anything too . yeah so again , i love you guys !

sometimes i wish you would stop piling your burdens on me. you have no idea how stressed it makes me feel .

since i already took this step again . i hope i won't have to look back and regret . i'm thinking of new experiences awaiting us. okay wait , that sounds wrong! oh but yeahhh , thats not what i mean la ! hahah something else , something sweet , something fresh , something like a fantasy dreamworld (:

ohohoh yeahh ! me and michelle worked out at her gym today after chinese tuition . yay finally after like dont know how many thousand weeks and hundreds of macdonald's meals and chocolates . hahha . i'm so motivated to keep fit now , but i still need more motivation . so somebody motivate me please!

today.today(: haha things were really so sweeeet and cuuute in the morning (: and then on the way to expo bumped into bestest buddy sylvie! haha we were so excited to see each other and we've finally got a pic together too (: bumped into adrina on the way too. sigh babe i've got loads of new stuff to tell you! then met sha and we both wore dresses today . similar outfits again (: ever since eons ago (: nothing much luh . after service's also like the same old thing. no excitement nowadays . then no june camp too ): so that means no midnight walks or sneaking out ): sighhh boring . nothing already la . today's just one of the many special days , hopefully which will be more to come .

HAPPY BIRTHDAY LINETTE (:

this whole week has been full of stressful sleepless nights , studying like mad, headaches and being so extremely tired . but anyway its finally over ! and now its time to get back into shape after all the study-eat food , and really taking care of myself . i cant not do that cos not doing all these things just make me feel and look like crap . haha so yeahhh thursday was the so called end of the last paper already . so me and nic headed off to plaza sing to get linette's present ! that girl ah , presents always so expensive . haha but its okay its sweet sixteen and our last year together anyway . went home and i slept 4 wonderful hours (:

FRIDAY
yay went to school laaate for the listening compre which was seriously like nothing at all , then cabbed home with mich and lianne to change and all before meeting each other again . went to raffles city and ate at my favourite place the soup spoon! and we ate FRIED MARS BARS (: hahah its the yummiest thing on earth but super duper fattening! ): but still we loved it. walked around and stuff and then headed off to marina . bumped into quite alot of people too . at marina went to all our favourite shops , saw many nice clothes and everything but i didnt get to buy anything ): haha not yet ! we were so super tired that we went to macs and sat down and ate . sigh what a fatty day . its time to kickstart the exercise and diet plan we've been always talking about but never getting about it for ages !

haha as usual , we were late for bio tuition . yeah i know , i still have bio tuition ! argh . so we took a super crowded bus there from suntec and went for the sec3 class only . haha oops . never felt so freakin tired and sleepy ever . sigh there wasnt any nice sexy thang show to watch today though . then after that still have to take a bus all the way home . TIRED okay! haha reached home and planned about today with nicole and linette . then me and nic decided to give lin a surprise and call her at 12 and sing a birthday song for her! but things seriously didnt go on as planned! cos we couldnt hear anything on lin's side , so the both of us were like quite confused and we were like huh? but after that we managed to call her and sing it in the end . and turns out everything me and nic said was all recorded on voice mail and lin could hear everyth . omg hahahah so embarrassing! but yeah anyway after that had a damn long convo with someone , the longest ever (:

TODAY
haha our initial plan to have a picnic at esplanade rooftop garden on lin's birthday was cancelled . cos we felt it was too crazy and gonna be super hot too so went to village to eat instead . wanted to eat the peranakan buffet at hotel phoenix , which looked really good , but most of it were spicy so we didnt in the end . actually nothing really special about village food , just that it has a such a pretty ambience. took lots of pics but they're not with me now . but go check out our joint blog ! yeah so after our nice lunch , we went to the lime flea market !! its so nice and you can get super steals there too ! so i bought this babydoll kinda dress for like only 5bucks ! haha yeah and its like brandnew too (: so many nice things . i'm really gonna come again the next time ! then nic left early so me and lin just headed to cine and walked around . fell in love with all the accessories at diva ! and went to newurbanmale . lin has decided to try and get th purple one again ! hope she cans , so nic quickly go get your green one too ! then we'll all have the same bag like we were planning too last time (:
then went back to heeren and walked around somemore and waited for the rain to stop before heading home . sigh it'll most likely be the last birthday we'll be spending for with linette , won't it ? and gosh its been like two years already . so fast ehh and it feels like just yesterday . SIGH . but well at least i'm finally enjoying and relaxing now (:

mother's day tomorrow!

the things that you do ;

went to catch spiderman 3 with nicole and theresse just now (: it was the bombzxz man! i loved it (: haha and we think james franco has a really nice smile (: then we went window shopping . sigh i feel so depressed now because we saw so many really nice clothes , but i cant get it . yet . hahaha so from now onwards i'm gonna start starving for the gss in 2 weeks time . yay can't wait ! till then , its the horrible emaths paper tmr ):

yay 4 papers down and i still dont know how many more to go , but i know its alot . studied socialstudies with mich and lianne over at her place for 4hours . eee i hate studying . but at least it was productive (: and we couldnt make up our mind to order kfc or canadian pizza . the people on the line must be pissed with us . and after everything we were braindead and went abit mad HAHA . and i still have more chapters to go ):

i feel like crap now . seriously. i dont know how to say exactly how i really feel but the best way to describe it is i feel like everythings in such a mess.

last night. was the first time i ever talked to you for that long . the first time we ever had a socalled 'heart to heart' talk. where we openly shared how we really feel deep down inside. funny how its the first time we talked like that , since we've been together before . but when i was with you, i didnt feel totally loved and secure. thats not how a relationship's supposed to be , but its okay i know you're sorry. i want to trust you , but i dare not . i'm not willing to get hurt again .maybe one day you would just stop loving me and do it again once more. i dont know.