yesterday was an early day for me . well not exactly since i woke up late and susie even later . so in the end we were late for our classes so we took a cab there . all the way to bukitmerah ! saw adrina working away too . anyways . i feel so embarrassed . i was late and i didnt know where my class was so i made my grand entrance and again . argh tried to find a chair amidst all the staring and put it BEHIND everyone . cos no space what . humph i felt so blur . i didnt know anyone at all ! aiya but then in the end it was okay cos i moved . at least next week shawnie 'll accompany me (: then after we went to eat lunch together with other tribe mates and took the bus to expo . it was so funny cos we were talking and laughing about some stuffs . crazyyy la .

then after we reached ! and went to service together ! it was different cos some caucasian pastor preached . then like after service we had cell at bk instead . was like talking about our PLANS and all ! then halfway kerin came to join us after her prayer meeting ! andyeah this week's like SANTIFICATION WEEK at tc . omg i still rmb last year's one ! it was so funny and like the three of us adrina kerin and i sitting together and all . ohoh but its like at night . and i've got tuition and stuffs . oh wells we'll see . then we've planned a cell outing on saturday . like finally but then not everyone can make it which is like so sad la ! cos if no one's going , whats the point ! we planned to like go watch a movie or ktv ! HAHA . and then go eat a super nice dinner . like fish and co at parkway . i've been craving for that for ages . then might stayover at shawnie's place and go for sol together the next morning . but like when i think of this WHOLE week ahead of me i feel like crap ): anyways . in the end after cell caught up with rin for a bit . its been so long gosh im getting old .

anyway like today was school . sylvie didnt come so it was so boring ): anyways i'm so angry . cos after tutorials , me mich and lianne were planning to go for drama . we wanted to go to the cca office first to check something out . when suddenly this bitch appeared in front of us and told us that we're kicked out of drama and we dont have to go because of our ' atrocious attendance' ! how rude man . and you should see her expression and her tone . like she's some superior person when she's NOT ! argh . we were all so pissed . they should be honoured we're making an effort . okay whatever la but yeeaahh WHATEVER !so now mom's gonna help us do something about it . so at least we get the points . and please , we go for points , heck the passion !

we go for points , heck the passion !

MY 100TH POST !

its been 5 days . and so many things happened . anyhows . i had the most sumptuous lunch ever with my mom at carnivore brazillian churrascaria in vivo (: i loved it ! the waitors would come over to your seat with a huge chunk of meat on this sword like thingy and slice the meat off with a huge knife to your plate ! and the best part is the meat was so tender and delicious ! mmhm . not your regular tough chewy kind . then wanted to spend my tangs voucher . didnt know whether to get that pink adidas watch . but mom said the white was nicer . i think so too . or sneakers ! i need sneakers . like from adidas or nike ! saw the respect me one and i like it ! but then hongkong's cheaper so mom'll get it for me there (: didnt buy the watch in the end ): but i think i want it ! HAHA . anyways the last few days was homework and all and back to school on friday . then had bio tuition . was early for once ! then dad came back yesterday too . hmmm . lots of things have been happening like tensions and all ! sigh but then . . its like NICOLE AND LINETTE ! ITS OUR LAST YEAR TOGETHER SO LETS LEAVE EVERYTHING BEHIND US AND TREASURE THIS FRIENDSHIP ! ALL THE TEARS AND QUARRELS WE WENT THRU , SO LETS NOT GIVE UP KAYS ! YOU GUYS MEAN SO MUCH TO ME AND SO DOES OUR SPECIAL THREE-SOME FRIENDSHIP !

and also everythings okay between me and sha too . YAY (: I LOVE YOU LOTS AND ALL ! wells . its church day tmr ! and finally everything is FINE AND BACK TO NORMAL . ohno i've got SOL 2 in the morning tmr ! and its ALLLL the way in TCT at 10am ! gosh but anyhows its been such a long time since i went so i'll just go maybe something interesting will happen ! HAHS .

I AM SO BORED ):

i'm still stuck at home now doing nothing when everybody else is at bugis looking for ideas ! ARGH this is so sad ! my fever 's kinda gone cos of the medicine but my throat is still swollen and it hurts . sigh . and i cant enjoy already cos after this camp its probably gonna be back to serious studying in school . BOOO this is really unfair . cos i was looking forward to the shopping mall trip the most ! so irritating so annoying . maybe i can go tmr ? but then maybe its not THAT fun already right . OH WELL . there are a few things i gotta do . which is like to finish my homework and . . plan my schedule i guess . what an absolutely boring day for me ): BORING !

I'M SICK ! SUPERR SICK !

i've got a horrigible high fever and a swollen throat and today until wednesday i'm supposed to be at camp ! and ours is in TP and probably the nicest camp so far and i cant go ): and for tmr we're supposed to go to a shopping mall to search for stuff cos its some entrepeurship camp and i dont think i can go cos the doctor says no and wants me to rest for the next few days cos he says the fever probably will not go away unitl wednesday ! HOW ? why do i have to be sick at the WRONG WRONG time ? then i miss out all the fun and next week when i'm well again its all back to studying like a pig . ARGHH . SO UNFAIR MAN ! anyways . there's so many things that happened this week and stuff ! hmm lets see .
monday - nothing much
tuesday - my first maths tuition . my new tutor is actually a hod of maths in like ST PATS ! and i tell you the way she charges is like 60BUCKS an hour which means its 1DOLLAR A MINUTE ! omg that means its 480dollars a month ! this is the MOST EXPENSIVE TEACHER I'VE EVER HAD . so i better score a1 for both my maths ! but then she's really good cos she teaches like a real teacher , which she is la . and she know mrs cheong too ~! HAHA

wednesday - met shawnie for tea in the afternoon . we went to eat at cafe cartel in TM cos i've got the student card which is registered as SHAWN'S CELL . so its like our cell group card ! HAHA cos we all ate there together last time (: talked to her about what happened last sunday . and yeah felt much better already . it also made me not give up hope on the cell , which is thankfully good (:

thursday - after school went shopping with mom , ever since ages ! HAHA went to bugis and ate at this v8 movie cafe , they were showing take the lead . then went to find my capri pants . and finally got it and another shorts from bum equipment . SALE (: YAY . then decided that i shant go for dance at night cos it was raining real heavily too . then tried to persuade mom again that if i dont go for a month , then i could dance for g12 conference instead ! and she agreed ! YAY i can dance for g12 , together with everyone else ! (:

friday - went for TP'S open house after school today with the whole class . i think TP'S really really nice and so appealing that i feel like just going there instead ! and they gave out so many freebies ! food and all ! but then my stupid bad was killing me ! and my shoulders were aching so badly that i had bag lines on the skin and woke up the neck morning with a shoulder and neck ache ! argh anyways saw a few people i recognised too . then went for bio tution at night . we were late again man ! oh well .

saturday - had CIP in the morning . had to do this flag day thing for some malay orphanage . but then HAHA after we collected the tins , we went to macs and ate a nice breakfast and headed of to tampines to do some collecting before we go and relax . after collecting much , went to orchard to see if we could get more . buyt then after walking for a few minutes we decided to leave cos there were so many other schools doing the same flag day . didnt think we had a chance so we left for bugis . and ALSO saw so many other people doing the same thing as us so we decided to just go back inside the mall and walk around . but manage to get some bugis money though . then after went to eat pastamania for lunch ! mmhm yum . then left the place at 130 ! and we were supposed to be back then ! but oh wells . then tiffy told me she saw our old tution friend ! but too bad argh , i didnt manage to catch him . then after went for chem tuition with lianne . we tried so hard to make them refund us cos we wanted to stop asap cos we totally dont understand anything during the lessons . but it was so unsuccessful so we just went . then after tuition had chinese tuition with mich at home . argh what a long day . but cheena tuition was hilarious manzxz ! then after that i was so tired i fell asleep after dinner and woke up in the middle of the night to find out i had a super high fever .

sunday - didnt go church ! SIGH . was sick sick sick . my fever was so bad that it went up to 40degrees . no kidding . spent the whole day sleeping or either doing nothing . ohh wells .

TODAY IS THE WORST SUNDAY OF MY LIFE.

before everthing i loved sundays . my fav day of the week . or rather bcos it was church day ! the day i would get to see all my fav people and have the most fun of the week . but now everythings changed . everything different . its no longer like that . actually it already wasnt like that for quite a long time . but then cos i was busy with dance and all i never really got to experience what it was really like until today . i knew for very long that my cell grp wasnt in order . only I felt it wasnt . today i went to church ALONE . for the FIRST TIME in my entire life . you know why ? cos all the ones i was close to left and the ones that i'm close to now have drifted apart . then when i see other people waiting for each other at the stations , bus stops etc . i feel like , at least they have someone to wait for . then i would wish that if only it could be like last time again when we would all go to church together . i felt really pathetic . like sooo wth . then its like i have to go into hall 10 all by myself . i mean there's nothing wrong with that but then its SUPPOSED to be like everyone in your cell group meet up then go inside together as a whole big group right ? it was ONCE like that , but not anymore . then when i went inside . so little people was there . as in my cell grp . the rest DIDNT COME or HAVENT COME ! like what is that ! then i started feeling really SHIT . that kind of SHIT feeling . then i saw her and i kept thinking about what she did . and i realised i still feel so so angry with her . to the extent of i feel like i hate her to the core . i still cant believe she actually wanted to do something like that ! it was so so mean . i felt damn pissed and angry . and i kept on thinking WHY is my cell group like that ? why does she have to do that ? why do i have to stop my dance ? why why why . and i couldnt stop tearing during worship . i felt it was so unfair . then when i see other tribes and cells so vibrant and united . and then i look at mine . i feel so dead . some people tell me that we shouldnt compare . but then ISN'T EVERY CELL AND TRIBE SUPPOSED TO BE LIKE THAT ?FUN , VIBRANT , EXCITING , UNITED ? AND INVOLVED IN CHURCH ? that is a role model i'm comparing it to a role model which we are supposed to be like . i'm not trying to say we should be exactly like them . but in similar ways . cos after all , we ARE one whole big family of networks .

so today throughout the service i was extremely down . i even wished for the pastor to hurry up and finish so that we can all go home . but then , today pastor eugene said that we should never quit . but i've endured it for so long i feel like quitting . i felt like , i dont ever wanna go church . or rather , go to church with OTHER people . i dreaded the time after service . cos i didnt wanna see her face or even talk to her . i didnt know how i was gonna handle it . but then it came . and then everyone gathered outside in hall 9 . i felt quite stupid just standing there doing nothing . actually it was okay until i heard that person's voice talking and talking non stop . i felt so freaking pissed with her again . after SO LONG . I DIDNT KNOW YOU WERE STILL SUCH A HYPOCRITE . AFTER ALL THE TIMES WE WENT THROUGH AND YOU'RE STILL LIKE THAT . YOU SAY WHY AM I ALWAYS LIKE THAT ? THE FACT IS I'M LIKE THAT TOWARDS YOU . AND YOU ARE ALWAYS THE CAUSE OF ME BEING SO FREAKING UNHAPPY . then i seriously couldnt take it anymore i felt like i was gonna burst of anger so i told my leader i wanted to leave NOW . cos i know i wont be able to take what was going to happen later on . so i went to wait for my mom at the taxi stand . and shawnie accompanied me . at least she tried to make me happy and take my mind of things .

but when i went into the car , it was no better . mom asked me why i didnt go for cell today . so i told her i didnt feel like and i was pissed . then i started telling her how i had to go church alone and how my cell grp is . then i ahvent even finsh saying and she started telling me how i should be a warrior of light and all . hello ? i dont wanna hear all these now ! here i am telling you about my problems and so fast you wanna tell me how i sould overcome it and how i shouldnt compare my cell grp ? you dont even know the real reason or the circumstances i'm going thru yet la ! then we were arguing and she kept on talking and talking and talking that i felt i was gonna burst so i broke down again . i know she means well of me but then let me talk first la ! then she asked me to tell her what happened again and of cos by then i wouldnt feel like talking or saying anything . i just wanted to be LEFT ALONE but she kept on pressing me . argh . it was really the worst sunday i tell you . i dont feel like talking about this wonderful subject ever again . what i've said here is quite vague . and you dont know other things that happen or the real circumstances so dont tell me i'm wrong or conclude anything . i have NO MOOD TO HEAR ALL THAT . i dont have a mood for anything ever again . next week i'll be dancing . the VERY LAST TIME UNTIL AFTER O'S ! at least it wont be so bad . i hope next sunday will be better , a good and memorable one . until after 10 LONG MONTHS . but i've also realised something . shawnie told me as i'm stopping dance for 10 whole months bcos of O'S . let me make very good use of these 10 months and do well for my O's so that my SACRIFICE of dance will be to GOOD USE ! so yeah i'm gonna work hard and make sure that i do well . anyway nothing will change that today is the worst sunday of my life .

updates updates ! (: this whole week has been like so so tiring la ! everyday after school its like either tuition , tuition , lots of homework and sleep and all . argh and now finally its friday night ! anyways yesterday was more FUN ! cos i've been craving to go TOWN and shop for like sooo long and finally on thursday we went ! me kim and tiff . to search for kim's dress . so like just walked around taka and then all . went to wisma's daniel yam . gosh the dresses there are PRETTY ! cant wait for grad night and dress shopping ! but then i think i should be tailoring . together with nic and lin . so that we can have dresses with simliar designs ! (: then the most embarrassing thing happened to me ! bcos i was already LATE to go home , i quickly left first . so i was on the escalator about to leave when i decided not to waste any more time and climb as fast as i can up the escalator . then SUDDENLY when i was about to reach the top , MY WHOLE SHOE CAME OFF and it was stuck at the escalator ! i was like shit oh no and for a moment i totally freezed there deciding what i should do . i was decided whether i should pick my shoe up and wear it or just slip my feet into my shoe . and then there were like people behind me STARING at me ! it was so so embarrassing and then the lady behind me was like 'careful girl , careful' so in the end i quickly PICKED my shoe up ,put in on the ground and wore it !omgggg how embarrasssing was that ! i was so freakin paiseh la ! argh . gosh WHY AM I ALWAYS DOING THIS ? vanessa vanessa there is something wrong with you . and then i dashed out of wisma .

anyways later at night went for dance (: at tct . today we had an ultra long sharing session and an ultra super tiring warm up exercise too . but then at least i'm sure all of us became much more flexible . then yeah nothing much today . actually i wanted to stop dance after g12 conference which is in the march hols but then NOW . i cant ! i have to stop like asap la . all cos of olevels . humph . i dont wanna talk about it anymore . had enough of it while talking to dad on the webcam . i dont ever wanna talk about it so dont come and talk to me about my dance anymore ! i will just be dancing ONE LAST TIME until . . o's are done . 10WHOLE MONTHS (: how wonderful man . YEAH RIGHT ! argh . whatever LA !

anyway today at school was such a LONGLONG day ! had phototaking today ! our LAST SHOT MAN . when i was in sec1 i would look at the sec4s coloured photos and think how i cant imagine myself being there . NOW I'M ALREADY SEC4 ! AND I CANT ACCEPT IT YET . IT IS ALL TOO FAST . OH WAIT ACTUALLY I CAN ACCEPT IT . i just cant accept the stupid O'S . then after school had an IMMENSELY 2 and a half hour LONG workshop by that marife person . i was so sleepy i so felt like sleeping and some more the wonderful aircon made it nicer to sleep . FINALLY IT WAS OVER ! and then the moment i walked out of school it became from drizzling to POURING ! argh whats the probelm with the WEIRD weather ! then went to meet mich at the bus stop and when back home to get ready and eat for bio tuition . we were LATE ! AGAIN ! and not much better from our last record of 30mins late ! and cos we were standing outside the room . mr lam saw us and announced so loudly 'AIYO ! THERE ARE FINALLY HERE ! ' then when we went in the class was FULL ! ALL THE SEATS WERE TAKEN AND WE HAD NO WHERE TO SIT ! so we had to bring thses odd lecture chairs in . cos we were having so much difficulty carrying the chairs , our grand arrival was the greatest disruption of all . then in the end , some guy helped us to carry desks from the other class . then we must put back the chairs , take new chairs , arrange the tables . gosh it was the biggest commotion ever . and we are so NOT proud of it . then after class , remember that irritating indian prata guy ? he kept on suaning the guy who helped us with our desks and chairs saying that he could become social worker next time . but then he was just being gentlemanly . isnt that what a guy's supposed to do ? then that prata still sitting RIGHT UP INFRONT AT THE AISLE , dont even wanna get up and help us . and the guy who helped us , he was sitting ALL THE WAY BEHIND . and had to JUMP , SERIOUSLY JUMP , over his desk to get out and help us . cos there was just NO SPACE ! argh i still cant believe that prata . SO IRRITATING MAN !

after tuition we just walked ard parkway again and took a bus home in the pouring rain . we slept on the bus and nearly missed our stop ! we were just so absentminded today . plus a few other stuff that happened too . then finally reached home WET . and the school week has officially ENDED ! hello weekend ! its SO TIME TO SLEEP IN AND RELAX . like FINALLY FINALLY . yay (:

today is church day ! (: my fav day of the week cos i get to see my fav people and be at my all time fav place ! HAHAS . early in the morning before church met adrina at tanah merah and we went off to bugis in search for a present . but then we couldnt find it . just walked around bugis street and stuff . and then soon we headed off to raffles city ! love that place and the high class basement ! then we went to chippy and bought food . we were planning to bring them to the soup spoon (: bu then the people making our chicken and calamari rings were SOOOOOO SLOW ! by the time we ate at soup spoon was like 1245 ! ARGH we were so angry . but while waiting took quite a few pics and the fountain there ! then went to soup spoon and ordered the delish minestrone soup ! and made a total mess on the table hahah ! cos we were rushing for time what ! oops . then went to STARBUCKS and bought the caramel frapp cos we fell in love with it when they gave out free samples earlier on (: then rushed to the mrt . stopped at eunos to take a cab to expo cos we were LAATE ! ! then i was so broke ! i feel so guilty cos i used up all my tithes ! so next week i'm gonna give extra , luckily we werent that late yeah . also found out some things from adrina . sigh now i dont know how to trust that person . looks like she's still the same . i mean how hurtful can she be ?! she doesnt even appreciate things at all ! today was lord's supper . then today i really really felt like just getting back at that person. but then i remembered that we have to forgive . though it was really really hard . cos of all the hurt . i tried . i kinda managed to . forgiveness shows thru our actions . it was hard but i tried . though not very successfully . never mind i will learn soon .

after service . me and adrina did someth really crazy . actually she did ! HAHAH shant say what it is . but it was so so funny ! the whole group of them went 'waaahh !' so loudly when they saw what it was ! HAHA . then she left and we went to have cell group . celebrated susie and shawnie's bday today . i think cell was quite good today . shared stuff . lots of things to look forward to in february ! including choir again ! YAY YAY ! fnially get to do choir ! anyways i'm so sad cos my dad wants me to step down from dance asap . then only after o's can continue ! i was heartbroken when i heard it . i mean dance makes my day ! its like my strength and passion and happiness ! ohh wells . i'll see what i can do . at least dance one last time for service right . . initially i was thinkin after g12 conference then i shall stop but then now ! sigh this is so so sad . anyways i'm so happy today ! cos GOD answered my prayer ! HAHA about SOMETHING ! shant say what but then its not enough ! i want more ((: HAHA . oh well then tumpanged a cab ride from shawnie home . thats it then . hope next sunday will be better and happier too . and that i will be able to get through this whole week of 5 WHOLE days of school ! sigh . ARGH . GOD HELP ME ! thanks ((: oh and dad left back for shenzhen already . sigh i feel so sad for him cos it'll be freezing there ~ and i'll miss my dad too ! this is like the first time man ! but after everything that has happened last week . i feel closer to my parents now i guess . okay (: a brand new week ! MUST BE POSITIVE cos i KNOW its gonna be a good week with GOD'S HELP AND FAVOUR ! (: yayness HAHA

hello hello (: these past two days has been tuition tuition ): friday had the first bio tuition of the year ! after school mich came over for lunch . then we planned to study bio . but then cos we were so tired we fell asleep and slept for like 3hours ! then we got a shock when we woke up cos it was damn late already ! so then rushed over . got bathed and all and reached parkway at 730 ! half an hour late man ! and she couldnt rmb what floor was it on again ! HAHA . luckily we were not the LATE-EST ones . today the class was PACKED ! so many new faces . but anyways as usual mr lam was being ever so comical and always making everyone laugh . the best teacher so far . so i'm counting on a1 for bio ! omg what a target . but then . miracles do happen .

after tution walked ard parkway . saw new shops ! and saw this really nice tote bag from i-cant-rmb-what-shop . the FLUFF brand . there's this one that has shoes all over it , very cute . i'm attracted to the one with the hula girl ! its so island-ish (: oh wells i just love unique things . then after that went to mich's house for dinner and went home .

TODAY had my first chemistry tuition at eastpoint with lianne . it was like okay okay . but then i dont like the way we sit ! its so weird . the chairs are like those in the lecture room with small mini tables . and we have to take off our shoes to go into the room ! weird ! i rather desks man ! but then comparing mr lam to the chem teacher i so prefer mr lam ! oh wells . i want/need a private chem tutor ! then its much more better . cos today i just didnt know what was he talking exactly about . then after tuition walked ard for awhile and i finally found studio wu ! tucked away in some ulu corner of the third floor . i wanna go there and learn dance dance dance ! wells thats all for saturday (:

today was the second day of school . and i tried the brown hairspray but it only made my fringe browner . haiya i 'm so sick of it already . was so so sleepy today okay ! oh took height and weight . and i think i really gotta lose weight . at least 1 more kg . before i'm happy woth my perfect weight haha . its the holidays fault . and you know what ? i'm still eating chocolates ! so much for dieting . anyways . after school . had our first chinese tution together with mich . it was so hilarious cos we were both kinda falling asleep at some parts so then when we saw each other's faces we burst out laughing . and at one time we couldnt stop ! HAHAH . anyways our teacher is kinda weird . like she's so hyper at the last part then she kept snapping her fingers at us and exclaiming 'thats the point ! ' and we were like erm . . okayy . then when we said bye to her she was like BYEEEEE ! then when we closed the door we totally burst out laughing our heads of ! cos she was just so comical . haha my goodness . but then its kinda okay . then after that we actually SLEPT for one hour ! was feeling so shack man . anyways still got homework and all . so tiring everyday . so i shalll aim to sleep early tonight !

sigh . anyways yesterday in the afternoon i sort of had a spiritual attack . i was halfway packing and clearing my school stuff then my mom came in and i got kinda agitated . so then she started like scolding me and i was like talking back and all . so then its a long story . but there was alot of tears . like i dont know why i suddenly became like a crazy and angry girl . i think its cos like the devil wants to attack me cos recently i've been closer to God. so in the end i've learnt alot from my parents . and i'm glad it actually kinda made us understand each other more and closer . though it was a seriously tiring day man . and maybe cos i felt moody since the next day school reopens and stuff .

well today sigh bad start . i remembered my dad warning me that today i should be early for school cos if i'm late it will be a bad start to the day . and indeed it was true . i was late for school man . how wonderful . cos since my parents have to send my brother to school i took a cab with mich and lianne and we ended up LATE . and we were the only sec4s . how embarrassing . argh . THEN they found out about my highlighted fringe . ARGH . if only i wasnt late then i can get away with it and dont have to go to all the trouble ! then had to wait in rtc for sooo long for that sister rita to finish her whatever business . but in the end . went back to class and it was quite fun . nic lin and i talked about many many things . well not exactly many cos we havent finished our sharing session cos lopez ruined it ): then we exchanged presents HAHA . then recess ! at 1045 everyday ! so the moral of this story is to eat breakfast everyday so that i wont starve to death during lessons .

then we had chinese . so BORING . and my wonderful teacher is that mrs chong ! so now she will so remember me and i cant get away that easily ! arghh . i miss mdm heng cos she doesnt really care anyways ! then had chemistry . i TRIED my best to pay attention . haha but then , nic and i ended up doing a list on our criteria on a guy ! and guess what ? we filled up 1 and a half pages! i think tmr we'll be able to finish the entire 2 pages man ! so yeah our expectations are kinda high i guess ! HAHA . ohh wells . i gotta start focusing tmr !

so after school went to marina with mich and lianne cos needed to buy some stuff and get my hair dye . so just walked around and stuff . didnt wanna buy hair dye so bought brown hair spray instead. thenn , yeah was on the way home when it started to rain so went to eastpoint for shelter . tried to find studio wu ! but i cant find it ! oh wells . then went to check out the tuition . then suddenly we were so interested in it . from being so into shopping suddenly we were so into tuition and studies haha . but its good la . oh and hmm nothing else then . so tired .

TODAY IS THE LAST DAY OF THE HOLIDAYS ):

inside me i'm feeling a little nostalgic , kinda down and yet . i dont know . just been thinking about this whole year . the good and the bad times . anyways talked to sha last night after a very long time . i realised alot of things . somehow i've also come to understand why God put me through so many things this year . all those bad things that happened to me . like my mom finding out stuff and all the quarrels . in the end . it made me closer to GOD and my life's much more in order now . i feel whatever i've went thru she's going thru . so its not merely a coincidence . it happened for a reason . and now i know he's gonna use me mightily . and even as the theme for this year is a year of victory , i can really begin to see already that GOD'S beginning to do his work inside some of us . oh and we talked about how we feel that our cell and tribe or even network should seriously be more involved in church . like you know take part in activities . organise tribe camps and all . join ministries . not just come to church . okay then go home . i mean when i see and hear that other tribes are so united and everyone knows everybody from different tribes from their own network i feel like wah so good ! and its like . for us . its so nuahh . i dont even know anyone that well from my own network outside my tribe ! and you see . the result is . some of us are NOT EVEN GROWING ! cos its bcos of the environment we are in ! its seriously so dead la ! but anyways i shall stop complaining and do something about it . so next week for cell . we're gonna share what we think and what should be done ! and something really should be DONE !

i'm gonna so miss everything ! and when school starts my days are going to be superly packed ! bcos . firstly . there are 7 days in a week . tuesday for chinese tuition with huibo . wednesday for ANOTHER chinese tuition with mich . one day for maths tuition . one day for piano . saturday for chem tution . friday for bio tution ! thursday for dance at night (: oh this one i dont mind (: then prob going to studio wu too . and sunday for church (: i dont mind too (: wow so wonderful man . argh . anyways cca ? i'm giving up on that one already . cos i dont think i have time for it . so i'm just gonna focus on studying super hard . cos NO CCA POINTS TO HELP ME ): but nevermind . its possible . so i dont have to worry about spending HOURS preparing for syf . HAHA anyways honestly my cca is a waste of time . i TRIED going many times before but then , in the end it was a total waste of time so now i'm taking no chances !

I HAVENT FINISHED MY HOMEWORK ! HOW HOW HOW . ? !

i'm feeling freakin shitty now . cos i've just remembered idiot school and homework . wth . i cant stand it . ARGH. whatsoever . let me be reminded about how wonderful my last day of 2006 was .

today for service was doing some promoting thing for the new year countdown with chrislyn . supposed to dress retro . so met at the station and was on our way to church . we were talking about how fast this day was surely gonna end and like dont want it to end so fast cos we're gonna miss 2006 and this day so so much . and then whoosh yesterday has come and passed . everything just happpened in a flash . it was all just too fast . sigh . oh wells . anyway went to expo then walked around giving out tickets and all . then for after that during service they like introduced the promos and we had to walk out at the front of the stage and strike some retro pose . or something . anyhows it was fun . its nice being involed in stuff like this (: so then todays message was like good . then at the end . we would all take turns to come out in front and be slained . haha we actually went up two times ! me chrislyn and charis . first ps nina then ps khong ! heh (: today was really spirit filled . then after service we all had to rush and meet up to get changed and our make up done . all in a total rush ! then after had to practise blocking and all again . i tell you time passed so so fast then okay ! but it was fun cos took alot of pics and posing for the cameraman . gosh i will never forget this day . then rehearsed and all . was quite nervous but then thanks to all the encouragement from each other we managed to pull everyth off . then the party started ! at first they were playing all the retro music from the beatles and elvis and we were all dancing and acting crazy to the music with retro moves . sigh i just LOVE the retroness ! it was something like planetshakers with the chairs all removed and all . so then we danced . then went back to the room and all . then it was time for JOYFUL JOYFUL . our celebration team performance item . we were all so nervous but in the end . it was a total blast . my first time dancing on the very expo stage . it was so fun . but then it happened so fast ! it was over already ! WHY MUST IT BE SO FAST ? argh i'm like repeating myself here . but its so true !

well we all did well . oh then my bling bling got caught in my hoop earring while dancing halfway . that thing was quite heavy okay . so you must know how painful it is . then it was time for the new year countdown . but somehow . and then 2007 ! sigh . wonder how the year's gonna be like . honestly i'm afraid . i'm afraid of the obstacles i know i'll face . i feel like running away . but it doenst help anything . 3 things i wanna thank GOD for . 1) for this wonderful opportunity to serve in the dance ministry 2) the many new close friendship ties i've made 3) that GOD has helped me to learn many things many many things and helping me thru the obstacles i've faced .

what i hope for 2007 . 1) good results for O's 2) more opportunities to serve and become a better dancer 3) more new friendships to be made and to have closer friendship bonds 4) to become a better christian and to draw closer to God .

i know i'm afraid of whats gonna happen in school . but then the only way i can overcome this fear is to trust God and let him take charge and know that his FAVOUR is going to be on me . okay yes i know i can do it (:

oh and even though i didnt see my cell group the whole of yesterday . at least my parents came ! i feel so happy that they can finally get a chance to see me serving . especially on stage ! whee . thank GOD . for everthing . ESPECIALLY ESPECIALLY for getting me through the obstacles that i've faced . the many FEARS i've faced . especially in school . he is such a wonderful father . sigh i feel like crying now . the start of the year is always like that . uneasy , worried . but then after a while its okay everythings getting used to . i hope the first few months will pass quickly . then everythign can start to slow down then start to pick up again at the second half of the year esp when its O's . okay must trust God and rely on him . i know its possible . cos i can do all things through christ who strengthens me . gosh i sound so holy now . but i dont care what the world thinks about me . ITS NOT IMPORTANT AT ALL .

i feel so much better after typing everything out . no longer do i feel shitty about school and homework cos i know no matter what , God's gonna help me through everything i do (: praise HIM !

THE COUNTDOWN PARTY !

me and meixiu with pastor (: