YESTERDAY , TODAY AND TOMORROW I'LL BE HAVING SOME SIP THING BY MY TRIBE AT DANIEL HALL THERE . so anyways what happened the past few days .

MONDAY - went to sha's house to make strawberry smoothies for ourselves and *someone . HAHAAS it was so fun . then yeah hanged out in her room and talked talked and acted crazy . then went home had piano then mich came to exercise . but in the end we uZapped did FACIALS ! and talked about all that has happened . at night talked to sha on the phone again too .

overload ! so much for our culinary skills !

TUESDAY - went for SIP in the morning it started at 10 am . so was supposed to meet shawnie for breakfast , but was late . then in the end today only 6 people came . so then we played games in daniel hall . we played hide and seek and catching IN THE DARK ! and I was the hide and seek finder lar ! omg it was so scary kays cos all was quiet and sooo dark ! then cos they had curtains in daniel hall then i was so afraid to open the curtains cos i kept thinking about the little blue boy from THE GRUDGE ! so scray but in the end , all went well . played quite a lot of lame games then went for lunch at parkway and headed back for a session on significance . okay learnt a lot bout myself la . the adrina suddenly came halfway . so she joined us . then after huimin gave us this letter from God . its like actually a compilation of bible verses but it sounded like God was speaking to us . and it was really really sweet and touching . the sweetest letter anyone ever wrote me , its like you can cry when you read it !

then after that was supposed to go for touchdance at night . then adrina wanted to come so waited for her then we went back to my house to get ready and talked and ate then we set off . met meixiu on the bus from tiong bahru and we were like super late . but thank god no pastor was there or else we’d be so dead . then today we learned the steps for the new year bash ! its sooo nice . and love the hip hop part . so hip-hopish ! anyways the night ended well . and adrina meixiu and i got really crazy in the cab that the uncle was like so irritated with us . but HAHAS . that’s us ! at night talked to sha on the phone again and i finally heard the convo .OMG . and it was sweet . we've been talking alot lately . supposed to have a sleepover on friday too !


TODAY – had SIP again in the morning . was supposed to there at 9 am kays ! but then dad fetched me and sha there , to east coast park today . and reached ard 10 plus . today was mostly games . we were supposed to do devotion at macs . but then me and sha ended up talking about *ahems and told her about my oh-so-wonderful-and-sweet dream last night ! but of course we did read the devotion thing ! then went back to the shelter thing there . today MORE people came ! then we had worship with the guitar too and played this game until . then thank God for shawnie and huimin with their cars so we drove back to TC there . had lunch at octopus . saw quite a lot of people there la ! like soooo unexpected ! then after lunch it was game playing time . first we had some newpaper flipping thing , then some mind game stepping on the black tiles game and the last one was the all get wet game ! so yeah well something happened . so i was like not very happy about it . but then after talking to shawnie bout it , i realized that it had got a lot to do with yesterday’s thing about significance and all the different traps that we fall under . anyways i realized a lot of good things from shawnie so after that i just decided to forget it and realize that i am me , and not anyone else . then after everything , went home by myself . tmr there’s SIP again and DANCE ! ! yay it just makes my day to be able to go for dance (: anyways ohh yeah yesterday , i found out something from someone . and i’m extremely disappointed with that person so now i desperately want to password protect my blog . ARGH , NOW ! !

heyyys . just came back from church today was a long day as well . anyways today brought mich to church . came to my house before that and got ready then her dad fetched us there . was super super late ! but luckily doors just opened ! anyways before going in , met her friend . this johnathan guy from city harvest . so yeah went in for worship then yeah ADRINA came for service today too . havent seen her in a LONG LONG TIME ! HAHA went infront to jump together with mich . today sermon was okay quite boring at first . then like there was this TOTAL DISTRACTION can ! argh so angry with him ! RUINED EVERTHING ! then yeah lar . ruined everything so mich didnt stay for cell .anyways had fun . i hope mich felt comfortable with us though . then in the end for cell , we combined with debbie's girls + boy and we played captains ball ! hahahs quite fun lar at least i can catch ball okay ! that sounds wrong . WHATEVER LAR . then after that we ended quite late actually . 6pm so then we decided to go for dinner . then while we finally decided to go changi airport macs together with shawnie sha fiona glory and shiyang . so then while waiting at the foyer there , saw lester and his mohawk hair . look like rooster lehh . HAHAS . anyway then while walking to the station again , saw that johnathan guy again . mich was still in expo at that time talking to the other guy so yeah then he wanted to join us . was a bit apprehensive . but then anyways . he went to find mich . gosh i'm kinda worried for her . cos so many things are happening and all . anyways went to macs . we ate and talked and laughed alot too ! i guess things are okay on church's side . but on school side . like friends and all , things are DEFINITELY NOT OKAY ~ then yeah talked bout SIP thingy next week and all the upcoming events . and yeah ONE DAY I WANNA GO AIRPORT AND PLAY HIDE-AND-SEEK ! cos i know its gonna be damn fun and crazy if we do ! HAHAS then took a train home . then i told shawnie how i totally feel that its so difficult for me and all ,. ABOUT EVERYTHING . everything thats happening . why is it so difficult and confusing ? OH WELLS . anyways i'm lost for words . reached home at 8 + (:

yayness . dad bought me a 512mb memory stick for my phone ! hahas yay more songs and more photos (: anyways i've tried this comment thingy . but the thing is i want the comments to be viewed in a pop up page ! not together with my post ! it'll ruin it . argh . how am i supposed to do that ? anyways . had a long talk with sha last night . just catching up with each other . until my mom came along and ruined it . see . thats why i need to password protect my blog too . but i've spent the whole afternoon trying to do that . but each time i try pasting some html code in my template , it doesnt work out ! its still the same . gosh i know nothing bout these html stuff . so cheem ):

' hold me never let me go change me i want the world to know you are living me God i know you'll never let me go '

whee ~ this is the chorus from the song never let me go by planetshakers ! yesterday at dance we learned the steps for this song ! yeeaah . hahas . and next tuesday we are going to learn JUMP AROUND ! yeahh that really cool hiphop-ish song ! yayayayay . anyways yeah schedule is kinda packed for dance ! rehearsals 2 times a week now . but i like ! ((: hahas . dad is coming back later . tatas *

((: i've been going to the airport very frequently nowadays . and i love it there ! hahas well i meanwhen you see all these people carrying their luggage , checkin in . makes me feel so holidayish ! like i cant wait to take the airplane and set off ! anyways went to the airport last night , or rather very early morning to pick my grandma and aunt up . while waiting me and mom had coffee and a carrot cake . i think its super niiicee and relaxing to do that , just chilling out in the middle of the night on comfy plush arm chairs (: hahahs . anyways by the time we reached home was like 1plus am . then we were all talking about shenzhen and its shopping ! cos they too came from there . wow i tell you when i saw all the things they bought , its like sooooo cheap lah ! compared to sing . and they were telling us about all the different shopping places too ! gosh now i really really cant waaiiitt ! ! and to see the windows of the world place and to go to HONG KONG DISNEYLAND too ! ! HAHAHS i cant control my excitement , i really cannot wait to leave singapore =D

GRAHH . don’t you hate it when someone posts an ugly picture of you in , lets say those public profiles , photo sharing sites , msn , etc . well not exactly ugly UGLY . but definitely UNFLATTERING ! like lets say , you look fat in the photo , or your smile’s gone all weird . AND the worst part is the person who posts that photo , with your very unflattering face in it as well , looks extremely nice and pretty . DON’T YOU ALL CANT STAND IT ?! don’t these people have a sense of decency or RESPECT for their poor friend who looks oh-so-bleah-ish in the photo ? don’t they ever think how that person would feel ? with that photo having the possibility of being viewed by hundreds of people ? NO THEY DON’T ; they only want the honour of having their pretty face shown to the world . i seriously applaud these people and their wonderful behavior . i have no idea why I’m being so sarcastic here . but whatever lah . yeah well , thats exactly what happened to me ! and i am UBER PISSED OFF !

anyways I have a new favourite show (: THE TYRA BANKS SHOW ! its really nice and i love yesterday’s episode about skin . hahas i shall go buy some Vaseline soon !

today had drama at 1 . argh so boring . went there and it was just games games games . argh what a waste of time . but never mind . its all for the points points points . anyways . must remember , signed up to help to usher for some jack and the beanstalk play on the 6th dec . for cip points . if not , i cant be bothered . hahas .

anyways . my mom brought up that freakin subject again . she was like ' my friend says that she's gonna show me the pictures on the internet ' argh sorry but ***** her friend . HAAHAHA ! TOO BAD BUT I'VE DELETED EVERY SINGLE EVIDENCE OF PHOTOS ! unless .. the person went to SAVE my photos on her computer ! well then that would be obviously STALKING ! and it would be SO DETESTABLE ! argh . cant she see that i'm trying to be good ?! whatever it is , as long as i dont hear anything bout his irritating topic , everything will be just fine and i wont be angry (:

church day (: hahas anyway last night i finally talked to adrina (: everything went fine . thank god . hahas hope she comes for service soon ! we all miss her loads ! ! so yeah today the usual , met meixiu at tanahmerah , went expo , did makeup and hair together and then practised and rehearsed steps and warm ups . today there were only 6 floorers , including me . but i think today was quite special . everything seemed so harmonious and we were all getting along (: so yeah went in to hall 10 . practised a bit . then praise started , sigh the jesus loves me this i know song , not alot of people were very enthu lehh . thurs was more fun . hahas . then came open up the gates . then i was like okay okay i can do it . i will not lose my balance . then suddenly ! i saw my cell people infront , with some other tribe people too ! then i was like , ohnoooo . then they were all like smiling at me . then i felt so awkward and nervous ! ! i mean dont you think its much easier to dance in front of a crowd whom you dont know anyone ? rather than when everyone you know is infront of you and you had to live up to their expectations . yeah lar . than i like made sooo many mistakes and all , it was like so shit man . and i was so upset and angry . shouldnt have told them that i'm dancing today ! then when i'm not , nobody wants to go infront for worship . whatthehell . then the whole time i was so bothered by it that i couldnt even worship the lord properly . spoil my entire day !

so then today for sermon , it was very different . ps khong 's doing a whole new series of sermons about the holy spirit . so today , for alter call , it was for people who not yet received the gift of tongues . so it was extremely wonderful to see the holy spirit at work . it was a very meaningful sunday . i mean for the sermon only . then after everyth ended supposed to go find my cell group argh . i was still pissed man . esp with her and her big mouth . in the end i couldnt focus and do my best for god . so yeah i went to find them feeling extremely pissed . then they acted like nothing wrong like that . so yeah i think they could sense it . then we had cell . i had no mood for it at all man . somemore we had to share stuff . NO MOOD FOR THAT . then it was like my turn . i felt so freakin reluctant . then in the end , i couldnt take it so i burst out asking them why today of all days why they must come infront . then i was like i made so many mistakes lar all cos of them coming infront . then they were like really ? they actually didnt notice any ! okay then luckily . but they said i was good and i improved (: hahas .

then after that we had to share what we wanna do during the hols . so i said i wanna go for dance classes at studio wu . then tiffy said she wanna learn BALLROOM DANCING ! ! hahas . then the rest of them also were quite enthu bout the dancing . and all of them wanted to go too . so maybe we can go for dance classes as a cell group ! ! hahas . then yeah sha and tiffy left . so then shawnie asked me more about how i felt about the todays dance thing . so i said yeah i was quite irritated and shared with her how i felt . i'm glad i have a cell leader like her , at least she understands and even suggests that they dont go all the way right infront of me next time . but of course i gotta overcome this . slowly . i know i can . it just takes time . ohh yeah then also talked bout my studies thing and told her how i felt . and yeah shawnie gave real good advice , i mean its great to have someone who already experience these things then its just like , so much better !

after we went to the food fair at expo ! hahs me and nicole kinda like took every sample at every opportunity . hahahs . hungry what . didnt eat lunch . but then we all felt kinda bad after that ! hahs . so then we went to find shawnie's sisters at the coffee bean near hall 3 there . its upstairs and its super nice the place with full glass windows and carpeted floors . then like all the seats are beside the windows so its super nice ! shall go study there next time ! (: so then shawnie and her sisters were talking about matchmaking stuff and guys in the church . omg hahas its like when i hear them talk and all , i'm just imagining how it'll be like next time in 10 years . like me and my cell mates . like whether we'll be like them talking about stuff . and just how it'll be like . hahs . and predict who gets married first ! cos shawnie told me thats what they did when they were our age . hahs so cool . then went home by bus . reached home quite late today about 7 + . what a long day .

anyways mummy came back ! hahahas she bought lots of stuff from shenzhen . and i tell you its GREAT shopping there with extremely jaw-dropping bargains ! but i shant say more . cos i'm going there to get christmas presents ! !(: i cant stand it lar . everyth is super cheap compared to singapore ! hahs . anyways she bought me pumps , a bag , winter stuff for our holiday , two skirts , accessories . hahas (: so happy . and they all dont cost much too ! cant wait for holiday ~

just came back from the wedding not too long ago ! it was held in TC , havent been there in a long time ! so well since i was getting late , decided to take a cab there . i mean , i wear so nice lehh , not fit for a bus ride . HAHAS whatever lah . then reached tc , it was rather crowded ! turns out that quite alot of people turned up , some from other networks , the rest from our own network . so i felt kinda lost cos NONE of my cell mates were there yet . sigh . so just walked around . saw shawnie at the reception and wrote in the guestbook . then saw some of my dance friends ! hahas . saw jiahui too , yay we are dancing tmr ! then sha and tiffy finally came . so just like queued up and all for the guestbook thingy and went inside the audi . then saw some really weirdly dressed people , the old polka dotted woman and the leopard skin girl ! gosh . i have to say this , but it was a disaster . if you see it , you'll DEFINATELY know what i mean . we sat quite infront (: then soon the ceromany began . first it was the walking down of the bride and there was also a string quartet playing those wedding songs ! then had a bit of worship in 3 different languages/dialects and then a word by ps william . and shawnie was right , he seriously is sooo gentle when he speaks during weddings ! hahas so funny (:

then after it was the vow taking thing . i think its just soooo sweet ! omg i cant stand it . i'm just thinkin that next time when i have a wedding , its gonna be just like that and everyth will be really sweet and beautiful ((: hahas so romantic ! i love weddings ! then they showed this photo slideshow and all . and followed by some thanksgiving then it was over . then everyone proceeded outside the foyer there to just eat , look at the pics . ohh yeah then there was this little game that they will hand out a piece of a puzzle of nigel and melissa's wedding photos to all the guests and let them fix it ! cos it means that we are all a part of their lives ! so sweet ! then we just hanged around , ate icecream ! and all .

then in the end took quite a no of pics , cleared up and me and nicole went to parkway to get her korean cd . talked about quite a few stuffs on the way home . anyways hope i'll be able to do it tonight ! GOD BLESS ME ! that everything will be okay between us !

today was okaayy . the school called ! hahas . they told me to come to meet the vp on the 23rd with mom . yay hahs spared me the inconvenience . so then went to bugis for a little while with auntie mag and sis to get auntie mag's things . argh it was so unfortunate . was actually so lazy to get out of the house . with the very hot hot sun . but then i the end went , it was so crowded . i hate it man . that means a higher chance of bumping into people . todays just not once of those days . so was kinda grumpy and all . anyways came home soon after . tmr's the wedding . i hope everth will go well . esp with my cell mates and all . sigh . oh wells shall go try on my outfit later .
DINNER TIME ~

i'm so sad to say that some people just dont get it . especially if these people were once close to you . they have come so far , yet they remain the same . sucked into the worldly possesions and the material life . leading a double life , and putting on a facade on sundays . they no longer feel the sense of belonging in the family , not sparing a thought for people who do love them . they put on a pretence as though they are the best and that they control the world and people around them in the palm of their hand . they act like total bitches , putting others down , thinkin that in this way , it could bring them up to a higher rank . they are manipulators , two-faced backstabbers . they are so involved in this sinful world that they can no longer see the light , the wonderful truth . BUT . they are going to be at the losing end at the end of the day . with nothing left . no amount of material possesions can satisfy the emptiness they feel . yet some know the truth ., but they still choose to let the world carry them away , enticing them with its sinful desires . i wish they would wake up and be who they once were . to be able to feel the JOY and be set FREE . that is the most wonderful feeling on earth . to know you are safe and secure in the saviour's hands . and so , i thank my mom again for showing me the truth . to be free from the darkness of this world .

heys just came back from touchdance (: came home all by MYSELF hahas yesyes ((: anyways shall talk about yesterday first . met lin at TM for a dessert lunch first then walked around there until nic came . then we took a train to somerset and went to the urban warehouse sale there and i bought a nice pink halter for only $3.90 ! hahas i've decided i'm gonna wear that to the wedding with a white skirt . then walked over to heeren . havent been there in a looonng time . so then we walked around saw some nice shops with pretty dresses (: then we went to cactus and pine and wanted to buy matching hair ties (: hahahs lin wanted this cute little minnie mouse lookalike ribbon one (; hahhs but in the end didnt get it . but we SHALL when school starts . so then walked over to cine where we went in and out of shops and went to blossomz . spent quite long there and nic and lin bought shorts . i think its quite nice lehh hahs i also want . but . . must save money . then they had promotion so there was this free racer back then nic gave it to me , thanks ! ((: then went downstairs to eat . then i realised certain things about myself from them , and yeah i will change ! ! cos you guys mean alot to me and we only have 1 year left with each other . . so yeah ! hahas .

so then we left for home , it'll be the last time we see each othere then cos we're all going for holiday at different times . . so sad no christmas shopping this year ! and found out lin is ALSO going to shenzhen and hongkong too ! hahahs same ! but different times though ): then at night after dinner . mich and lianne came over to exercise . wells it was . . i dont wanna say . anyways i was quite upset . so i decided to share it with nic and lin . and yeah i 'm really glad i did cos i felt sooo much better after that . so i shall do it more often (:

TODAY

met shawnie at paya lebar today then she drove to parkway . had lunch there at the foodcourt . then my tuition friend said she saw me . hahs i miss bio tuition (: okay whatever ! then shawnie told me about her and all and yeah i 've realised that this cant go on anymore ! its been two months . gotta get things right and restore broken fellowships . so i just hope this sunday everything will be great (: then walked around for a bit tried to find my blue hair dye but cant find ! ! argh . but saw temporary blue hair spray instead . . but then i dunno . if really really cant find then i shall try that out ! then shawnie sent me home . oh yeah and the whether was WEIRDD it was raining and then sunny and then raining .

okay then came home quite early . i fell asleep ! woke up at 5.10 ! supposed to meet nic at 530 at tampines mrt then we met and i told her my really horrible nightmare . it was kinda heartbreaking and can really feel that sense of betrayal . and it felt so real cos of everything that happened yesterday . then i woke up tearing , sometimesi feel as though that i'm such a lousy friend . i feel that i cant be counted on . but i cant stand it any longer ! i'm gonna change that !

then went for dance ! went early today at 630 cos was supposed to 'sit in' for chrislyn 's meeting together with meixiu . so then we went but then it was kinda embarrassing cos not in the same tribe or anything so . . we went downstairs to magic box to practise dance steps . hhhas and i never knew meixiu can be so crazy sometimes ! then we went buy dinner at kfc . humph so angry with the waiters , service so slow somemore then never even give us spoon for our mash potato ! argh . then gobbled up our food cos everything was gonna start . today was the combined rehearsal so it was kinda fun (: then yeah not dancing to majesty anymore ): then went to practise and practise our steps and samantha and huihui affirmed me that i have improved in my sharpness and all ! hahas i'm so happy really , that really encouraged me , so i'm gonna do my best for god ! then we talked bout the new year bash again ! ! ! hahahahas i'm so excited ! yayayayayay !! then went up to the audi for combine rehearsal .

THIS WAS THE FUNNIEST PART !

cos this sunday it'll be special cos we'll be singing 'jesus loves me this i know, for the bible tells me so " yeah that song ! hahahs so then whn we were halfway singing , the worship leaders told us to turn to one another and sing it to each other . so then me jiahui and rachel turned to each other when we saw , down the row , meixiu and chrislyn were linking arms and skipping around ! hahas so then the 3 of us held hands in a circle and began to skip around ! ! like little kids ! hahahs omg it was so funny and we were laughing and laughing cos it was just so crazy ! then meixiu and chrislyn came over and the 5 of us began to skip around in one big circle too and laughing away ! hahahs that was the best ! i think we all suddenly became very crazy and acted like little kids cos of the song ! but so sad we cant actually do that on sunday ! or else it'll be so funny ! hahahs so cute .

and wah today was miraculous , i could actually feel myself really involved in just worshipping God . must be all that had happened . . and really today i felt His JOY again ! havent felt that in a long long time . and i'm so happy . then after that had a post briefing and it was all joy and laughter (: and i really thank God so much that i've found his joy again tonight ! so then ended quite early , just before 10 . then me and meixiu just hanged around for a while then walked to the bus stop together . i really wanna dance this sunday ! ! but then if mich is coming then it'll be kinda difficult . haiya . oh wells .

anyway tmr i'm supposed to go to school and meet the vp . but i feel so lazy to ! then so inconvenient and all . argh . so maybe i wont ! hahahs . see first (: nights world !

sooo todayy . mom went off to shenzhen in the morning . then had chinese tuition . had to drraaagg myself out of bed so early to finish my homework ! and the night before slept at 3am cos of it man ~! argh crazy . So then after tuition met chrislyn and went to the gym downstairs to exercise . so yeah today we actually ran like 2km on the treadmill ! yay so fruitful but soooo tiring . then we practiced our dance steps for this Sunday ! I cant wait although I dunno if I’m still dancing . . but anyways we talked lots and found out that meixiu already dyed her hair red ! ! hahhas cant wait for my turn ! BLUE HIGHLIGHTS ! so yeah cant wait for dance this thurs too (: so after that rested for a while then went to parkway to walk around . trying to search for someth to wear for the wedding . nothing much so then went home for dinner . anyways . someth like totally pissed me off ! argh . nevermind . forget it .

i've just been thinkin . i shouldnt have said all i've said in my last post . some of them were so mean . but anyways i really dont mean it . just needed to pour out everything and vent my anger/sadness whatever . things are getting okay at home . auntie maggie's here to stay to take care of us while mom's away . well . didnt do much today . stayed at home . i think i shall list my schedule here again . for this week .

tuesday - chinese tuition in the morning . meeting chrislyn to work out at my house later.
wedenesday - going out with nic and lin.
thursday - meeeting shawnie in the afternoon then touchdance at night .
friday - perhaps go to school to meet the VP
saturday - melissa's wedding at TC
sunday- church . maybe dancing if mich isnt coming .

there you have it , for my own convenience though . not to show the world what i do .

i'm so confused right now . cos its about last night . remember i said mom wanted to talk to me ? well she finally did , last night . and . . it was just bad . we started off about studies . then about me , she told me that she can sense it that i have changed . like i've become very materialistic and my dressing , accordding to her , has been very revealing . i mean its seriously not my fault that i dunno how to choose my sizes well that i end up buying a bigger size with the arm holes too big and the neckline too low . well i thought my washing machine would shrink it . anyways . then she also told me that recently when she had cell group in our house , aunty clare which is her cell leader told her that she also could feel that i wasnt the same as i used to be . and i guess i wont doubt what she says cos i know its true that when a person is very anointed with the holy spirit , they are able to sense what is going on in another person's life . thats how people pray for others whom they do not even know during ministry time . i know myself that i have changed . but i didnt know it was that bad . i still dont think it is . but i never know .

so then she asked me about all my new clothes . and she knows that they're from topshop , zara and all that . then she couldnt understand where i got all the money from . she even thought i WORKED like after school or someth ! thats crazy . truth is , i just bring food to school every day and dont spend my allowence at all , then by the end of the week i'll have money ! duh . but obviously i cant tell her that ! she'll prob be like the money is for you to eat not buy clothes or worse i'll have no pocket money and will have to bring food to school everyday . so of cos i couldnt risk it ! then i tried to tell her they were bought at a warehouse sale at cheap prices BUT she said she saw them in stores while out shopping ! argh . what a smart mother i have .

now this is the WORSE thing of all . she says its because of the company of friends i mix with now . i'm not denying thats a fact . and she told me that the holy spirit revealed to her ALOT of things when she prays for me . argh . i cant believe that ! that means i can NEVER EVER lie to her about anything cos she'll always find out anyways . THANKS ALOT HOLY SPIRIT ! okay i know thats a good thing and all , and yeah i wanna change and be good . but not right now when i feel so screwed up and secrets all revealed ! and i also found out from my mom that she has a friend whose daughter is very close to her and tells her ALL her stuff . so one fine day , her nosy ass daughter went on friendster to do some profile hopping . and she SO UNFORTUNATELY came upon MY PROFILE and saw all the pics that me mich and lianne took on some of our various girls night out or shopping trips . AND SHE SHOWED HER MOM THE PICS ! ! and her mom went to tell my mom that she saw me in the pics dressing 'very provacatively' . like WHAT THE SHIT IS THAT ?! omg i tell you whoever that big fat bitch is , she must have known me or else she wouldnt have shown her mom the pics . so i've already thought all about it and i have my list of shortlisted suspects ! and that stupid fcuking bitch will so get it BACK ! COS I HATE HER ! I HATE THAT FCUKING BITCH TO THE CORE ! SHE IS A NOSY NOTHING BETTER TO DO BITCH WHO FINDS JOY IN PRYING INTO PEOPLE'S LIVES AND DISHING THE DIRT OUT OF THEM AND I HATE HER ! ! ! OMG I HATE HER LIKE SHIT . I SO WANNA GET INTO A SUPER BIG GIRLFIGHT AND GIVE HER THE TIGHTEST SLAP I CAN . I HATE HER SHE IS A RUINER OF LIVES AND SHE IS A MEANEST BITCH IN THE WHOLE WORLD ! I'M STILL SO ANGRY I CANT FORGIVE HER NOW . SO DONT EXPECT ME TOO . MAYBE NEXT TIME . WE'LL SEE , IF SHE STOPS BEING A FREAKIN BITCH ! but anyways . i have deleted my friendster account and i officially hate bloody friendster my whole life ! !~ and worst still mom doent wanna tell me who the person is . but hahs i'm smart i've already SHORTLISTED THE GIRLS ! I HOPE YOU'RE READING THIS , BITCH , COS I HATE YOU !

so then afetr that i was seriously fuming so whatever mom said i just totally answered back and all that shit , yeah yeah i know i'm wrong and all . but cant you see it ? if you ever knew how i felt then . i felt sooo betrayed . even though i dont know who that bitch is . then after she kept talking and talking and all . i felt really angry with god . and i was like crying already and all that stuff . i just felt so angry that i didnt understand why is this happening to me . so then mom wanted to pray for me , and that just so wasnt the right time ! so at first i didnt wanna hear any prayer or whatever sorts . at that time i felt it was my way of getting back at god by avoiding him and alll . so when mom prayed i totally covered my ears cos i didnt wanna hear ANYTHING she said . and yeah it was a such a long prayer ! my hands ached at the end of it . okay whatever i know that was a really childish thing to do . but i was so angry then . what do you expect . then at the end of the prayer , i think mom actually cried during it . wheni saw her , i wanted to feel sad , heartbroken that i made her feel this way but then i stopped myself from feeling that way and tried to make myself feel like i couldnt give a damn about it . so then mom wanted to hug me . but i was still so angry i didnt let her . i seriously felt like pushing her away . but i didnt . i just didnt hug her back . but i think i was damn mean . i was like are you done yet ? my gosh , i was such a bitch . so in the end she left my room . then after which i was still furious , i so felt like just DOING SOMETHING to just END all this shit . but see even if i jump down now i'll still be here , like my soul/spirit/whatever will still be living on . i could never just disappear from this face of the earth so then i felt so helpless . like nothing i would do would end all this . so i grabbed my 'tools' and did someth to me , and poked the bed and the floor . so since mom was hearing so much noise she came in , AGAIN ! argh then she wanted to wait for me to sleep before she went to sleep . then argued for a while and again until she left . i know that i hurt her alot and all , also cos she told me that . but i didnt think of it at that time . so then after trying hard to get to sleep and thinkin about so many stuff i finally did .

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woke up this morning with puffy eyes due to all the crying . argh . then i immedietely rushed to freakin friendster to delete my stupid account ! i hate friendster ! then rushed to get ready for church . supoosed to meet at 1130 for lunch and cell . my plan initially is to NOT TALK to any of my cell people at all and just appear damn down and all . but it didnt really worked . i still talk whenever i go to church . so then met at the expo foodcourt and all . nothing much important . today it was only me nicole and sha . so during worship like everything was nice nice went infront . felt like i was in a high cos everyone ard was jumping and singing nice songs . but thats not how i wanna feel ! i wanna feel the REAL JOY ! but not today . then during worship we sang a new song . holy spirit by planet shakers . that songs always makes me wanna cry . so then i was thinkin about last night and all . like what mom kept saying about god and the holy spirit . and how god is so upset with me . and also how i've hurt her and how much i need the holy spirit . so when shawnie came to pray for me , i broke down . like for the first time during worship since . . i dunno when last year i guess . then during sermon surprisingly i was so attentive despite all that has happened . so today for ministry , the one thing that just spoke to me was the sin of omission . like you know what is right but you just dont do it or you forget to do the right things . that is so me . i really wanted to go infront . but somehow i just didnt . it felt so awkward going infront then cos my seats so faraway and all . but i just had that tugging feeling in my heart telling me to just go . but i tried to ignore it . then they started playing holy spirit again . then i told sha that i really wanted to go infront . but then i said i didnt want too so she just comforted me and all then i just started crying again . like i couldnt stop myself . even when i'm typing all this now ,. i feel like crying . so then shawnie prayed for me and shared me with this verse , i remember a little bit . like we shouldnt envy others and all that . i think it must be my envying that i've beginning to but stuff and all to compete who's dressing is better . but now i'm beginning to realise that i shouldnt be doing that , cos god doesnt want us to compare ourselves with others . and i'm also beginning to understand that all these clothes and bags shoes accessories are all just materialistic things that will fade away once God comes back for us again . todays sermon also talked bout his second coming too . but still , that doesnt stop me from liking them . hahs whatevr ! maybe i'll just become less . . materialistic . so then i'm still feeling guilty bout my mom thing . but yeah . thats the end of it . i just feel damn depressed now .

also this post is really a deep down and private one , it s all about how i really feel inside . not the outer me that other people see . so i'm taking such a great big risk in putting this up . but whatever la . this is like my diary anyways . one day i'm gonna print all my entries out and compile it into a real diary , end of this year .

todaayy . we had drama from 9-12 ! but . . as usual the little plan the 3 of us had was into action . we all set our alarm clocks at 830am . and as usual , our 5 mins more became like half an hour plus . that by the time everyth was done we reached school at 11plus HAHS so much for 10am ! anyways i had a dream last night . and i liked it . it was about someone (: but i think i'm crazy to like him ! okay but then cos we couldnt find drama , we walked around searching everywhere until like we found them and it was like 113o already . yay only halfan hour left (: hahhas . then after drama went to find the VP but she went off to taman negara ! eeeew . i will NEVER EVER EVER in my whole entire life go back there again ! so must go back to school next week again . whatabother ! anyways lianne went off and mich came over . had lunch and then went to bugis and bras basah to get my fys . went to DIVA . saw really new cheap accessories on sale ! but i'm broke . argh so then walked such a looonng way to brasbasah and all . walked back to bugis then walked around . pinkindustrie was having sale ): not fair . just the time when i'm money-less ! so then went home was late it was raining so then mom had to pick us up after her cell . she wasnt happy . ohwells . she wants to talk to me later about my shopping , studies and all . notgood ! ohhwells . anyways i'm kinda sick . i'm sniffing and my throat hurts . tsk .

just came back from daaannce ! hahas today was kinda fuunn ! but wait first . before all that , met michelle and lianne at tanahmerah to go watch a movie . cos we were late and all we couldnt make it to the one at cine so oh wells went to MARINA SQUARE instead ! then we watched STEP UP ! cos it was either that or material girls but they didnt have the show there . anyways i really really love step up ! ! its seriously sooo nice i love the music like how they combine violins and some groovy beats together and it just makes the tune soooo .. dance-able ! hahas. and also channing tatum is really hot (: hahs ! we were so in love with him ! dont mind watching it again ! which i think i will be . then cos it was about 6plus had to leave for dance so went off first .

and met meixiu at tiong bahru plaza where we bought our dinner to eat there . then took a bus and all . reached changed and it was DINNER TIME . then chrislyn came and she too went out shopping and turns out she was in marina square too like exact time and all ! so sad we didnt bump into each other or else i think we'll be in a shock-and-scream kinda reaction ! LOL so then today we shared thanksgiving and i thanked God for protecting me yesterday that at least i didnt hurt my spine instead of head even though it still hurts okay ! the today we did someth different , samantha taught us this hiphop exercise which i think was sooo nice cos its supposed to let us free ourselves and feel the music ! then practised the 3 songs for next sunday . kingofmajesty , majesty and openupthegates . i think all of us are gonna be so worn out after worship ! doing flags too ! then yeah but i'm not sure if i'll still be dancing since mich is coming . anyways !

after everything we talked about manymany exciting things . about . . this years new year bash ! omg its so cool , its gonna ROCK expo ! but my lips are sealed . then after that supposed to go macs with the others but one by one they all left until it was me meixiu and chrislyn again . but cos someone !hahas! wanted to wait for the choir to come out we took pics and all in various poses ! then mom came so ohwells had to leave already . but still it was greeaat .
went home , bathed the conferenced to discuss about drama tmr morning argh . our wonderful plan (: to go there at 10am ~! hahas . then i read the purpose driven life , the chapter on serving God through ministry and all . and i just felt that God revealed to me that i should be more humble in my ministry and serve Him wholeheartedly in it and not promote ourselves through it . it just really spoke to me . and i so thank God for that . and also , like another night the book also spoke to me about restoring broken fellowships . that really hit the nail on certain issues right now . wells . i hope to get it done soon .

heys . went to school just now and met mich and lianne to collect our books ! yeah and i wonder why i didnt have the book list at first . so then helped them to take their books back first while they go for tuition. gonna meet up later again . oh shaa just called .she told me someth while out shopping . okay that was random . anyways next week mom's gonna visit dad in shenzhen ! he just went off yesterday ! hahas no more parents ((: and like i've gotta plan out my schedule for her . so mightaswell do it now .

this is tentative only . shall fill up the blanks when the time comes .

tuesday (14/11)- chinese tution in the morning.bleah ~ shall go out after that (:
wednesday (15/11)- possibly going out with nic and lin . honestly i rather spend money on shopping rather than movies . but nevermind.
thursday (16/11) - will go out again and touchdance at night .
friday (17/11) - erm dunno yet . but WILL go out (:
saturday (18/11) - melissa's wedding at TC ! !
sunday (19/11) - church day . maybe dancing again . and mom's coming baack .

hahahs i dont care i shall take the opportunity to go out everyday . even though i'm not supposed to . i mean i cant stay at home . i'll be dying of boredom ! she'd better never find my blog .


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i just came back from mich's house . yeah so after dinner went over to mich's house with lianne too . then first we like tried to rollerblade and all hahas . then we got tired and went to the GYM ! which we actually exercised ! (: then wanted to go to the SAUNA but it was inconvenient . so then went upstairs . so i was like sitting on the swing in mich's house then cos lianne tried to push me but cos i wasnt sitting properly i totally OVERTURNED and hit my head on the cement floor ! it was soooo ouch okays ! and my head was totally spinning away . but its not her fault la . so painful i tell you . now i've got a big baluku on my head bleah ~ ~ ate a little dinner and brought our dessert cheesecake ! to the playground where we sat on the seesaw and ate and talked . then listened to music ! showstopping ! and it felt like we were on a car as well like the video cos we were shakin the rickety seesaw to the music . then camwhored a bit on the climbing thingy then went home at almost 11pm . fruitful night . wells . except for bumping my head .

today is 7/11 . supposed to be a SPECIAL DAY supposed to be an adventure day of doing crazy stuffs . but not this year i guess . anyways it was ruined last year . this year was supposed to be better but nothings planned . whatever, i've found out things ! hahas . anyways todays shit . had piano just now and i'm beginning to suck at it i cant concentrate ! bleah must go practise more . then later got chinese tuition bleah thing~ havent done homework finished yet . better do before she comes . then later gonna study/homework with mich . hopefully we'll succeed and not end up pigging and lazing around . hahs . and exercise too (: to stay in perfect shape .


hahs guess what ! mich came over already and we ended up eating dinner watching tv , listening to music , talking about guys , uZapping and painting our nails ! hhahs what a fruitful night ! nothing about homework huh . hhas whatever ! (:

heys well i've decided that i shan't change class no matter what ! hahs cos nic told me on sat night and dedicated one whole paragraph about me not leaving 3.7 on her blog and lin also doesnt want me to leave so yeah i shan't ! anyways cant think of leaving them either ! bleah ~ i've got horrible hiccups now ! ! argh
yeah so yesterday went to church ! was dancing so then met meixiu and went to the toilet to put on our makeup and do our hair then got ready for worship to begin . so while waiting to go in hall 10 saw chrislyn and her funky pink and orange hair ! omg hahahs so cool . then me and meixiu were also planning to dye our hair funky colours too then the 3 of us can have funky coloured hair ! i'm thinkin of BLUE ! cos watched aquamarine on saturday and i'm in love with blue highlights ! so thinkin of doing it sometime soon too ! hahas ! so then went in and practised steps was a little nervous cos its been quite some time since i last danced . but anyways it turned out pretty well ! i actually remembered all my steps and didnt make any stupid screwups ! yay i'm improving ~ so yeah haaappy ! today was lord's supper too so no one came infront , this means we're more prominent so luckily everything was fine . but someth embarrassing happened ! i forgot to drink the 'cup' until the very last min until everyone drank it and everyone was gonna stand up then i quickly gulped it down ! gosh i hoped no one saw that ! i mean i didnt hear pastor roland talking bout lets drink it now . so yeah i didnt know what ! ahahs .

then nothing much hahs during sermon someth funny happened ! cos i asked meixiu which part of bugis she bought her belt , then she thought i asked her where she bought her bra then when she realised what the real question was and when i realised what she thought i said , we both burst out laughing cos that was seriously RANDOM ! it was so retarded man ! hahas whatever ! so after service was like walking around trying to find my tribe and like couldnt find them until like after so long . so today it was only me and tiffy so didnt have cell group so instead me shawnie and tiffy just talked and laughed at stuff and shawnie asked us to go out shopping tmr ! which is today . then yeah . ohh then was reminded that melissa's wedding is coming up ! and the theme is PRINCESS ! ! yay my favourite theme (; haahs so better go get someth sweet to wear ! cant wait so then the 3 of us took bus24 home and all . even though there were only 3 of us today it was fun !

so today supposed to meet shawnie at city hall at 1pm . in the end met tiffy at tanah merah cos she came from school and saw mich there too ! then we met shawnie at city hall and went to raffles city at the basement to have subway ! omg i just love the basement there ! its sooo nice ! and like they have a roxy shop and all hahahs ! then walked around a bit was trying to find a guestbook for the wedding ! then walked to bras basah to find a guest book too and went to tecman ! i didnt know that that shop existed until today ! ohwells . its really nice cos went to the youth books section and saw all those cool dating books and girlie books and like books about guys and how to take care of our girlie selves ! hahs christian books are so interesting man ! i so wanna get those books ! like the dateable rules and all that kinda stuff ! so after that we left for bugis , went to diva and yes the sale was still there so bought two bracelets (: then walked around bugis and bugis street for a while until we were all tired . so went home and reached bout 6 ++ . then waited for mich to come over and watched my fav show so you think you can dance ! ! then we ate dinner and all and blah blah uZapped . and she left and all . so thats my monday !

WHOO ~ YAYNESS ! ! ! JUST FOUND OUT THAT STUDIO WU IS OPENING A NEW DANCE STUDIO AT SIMEI EASTPOINT ! THAT MEANS ITS SOOOO MUCH MORE CONVENIENT FOR ME ! OMG THIS IS SO COOL I CAN'T WAIT TO TAKE UP THE CLASSES THERE AGAIN IN DECEMBER ! YAY ! !

okays shall talk bout yesterday and just now ! yesterday didnt go marina in the end . so mich came over and just lazed ard talking bout exercise plans then rented bring it on all or nothing . it was okay but the last two bring it ons were so much better ! then had to rush off to dance and dinner with meixiu . then today like practised salvation is here ! and tell the world ! ((: love salvation is here ! then after dance hung ard at the macs for a while while waiting for dad then came home and whatever .

today ! in the morning went to lavender with mummy to make my ic then went to meet lianne and took 4wheels to school . went to find teachers and met mich to go for drama like for the FIRST TIME in many many months ! everyone was like ' wow you 3 are finally back ! ' kinda like embarrassing , but who cares . then today we like auditioned for some roles . and like while waiting played , erm sorry but boring drama games . and we were all like bleah . . but anyways it finally ended and went to eat chicken rice cos like just now almost everyone in drama was eating chicken rice too and it smelt so yummy hahs . ohoh ! then cos went to see the vp again and she told me that if i choose combined science i would have to change class next year ! means next year i wont be in 4/7 but in like 4/6 ! ohno i'm so not prepared for that but yet . . i dunno what to do ! huh . . oh wells . so then went home relaxed then wanted to exercise but lianne had a dinner so mich came over and we uZapped away and went to the gym downstairs to exercise . hahs . and there was like this caucasian man telling us the right way for doing situps and crunches ! hahs cos we were doing the wrong way hahas oopsies . then in the end got chased out by the security guard cos we were wearing flipflops in the gym and yeah not supposed too ! anyways went up had dinner and watched the last episode of the 9oclock show and we SUCCUMBED to the temptation of BEN AND JERRY'S ! mmhm chocolate fudge brownie ! then like we were so in love with ben and jerry until we realised on the packaging that both of them were actually old and nerdy looking ! hahahs ! yeah then argh we ate ice cream but it was just soooo good ! anyways situps later and uZapping time too !

found this quiz on nic's blog . and since i cant sleep . i shall do it ! anyways later dad and mom are gonna go send my bro off at the airport at 3 am ! so they're waking up later ! feel like going . . for fun cos the airports just like so cool esp at night ! hahahs lame whatever . anyways my bro's going to chiang mai for dunno how many days with his school . so yayness ! ahahs .

7 random things about myself :

1. i procrastinate alot . time to get rid of that nasty habit !
2. i'm not as dumb or bimbo as i seem ! humph take that all you people ! hahas
3. i love shopping ! duh !
4. i'm afraid of ants . cant be helped !
5. i just painted my toenails multi coloured cos i was in a crazy kinda mood.
6. i actually like eating vegetables
7. i really needa go to the toilet NOW ~!

7 things that scare me :

1. all kinds of insects !
2. supernatural stuff and horror movies
3. not having the friends and family i have now
4. the dark (yeah i know ! but cant be helped !)
5. being TRAPPED in some unknown place
6. definitely not having God in my life
7. fire ? thats why i only learnt how to light a bunsen burner all by myself this year !

7 random songs at the moment :

1. get up
2. too little too late
3. a public affair
4. salvation is here
5. promiscuous girl
6. take it all
7. sexy back

oh i dont know who actually reads my blog so no 7 random people . did it for fun cos quizzes ARE fun !
okay seriously gotta go sleep now and the TOILET !

today was fuuunn ! wells yeah at first had history in the morning , went to fetch mich as both of us were late ! then met tiffy who was late too then we all walked in together . sat beside her then . and so today we learnt about german history and hitler . ask me to tell you what i know and i'll say i dont know . it just went in one ear and out the other . anyways 4 hours of history how to concentrate !? so yeah the fun part was actually laughing away with tiff cos she's spastic girl ! as in a superhero to fight bad guys and smartness ! and dawn as retarded girl who's spastic girl's retarded sidekick ! and retarded girl fights baddies away by her 'wonderful' singing ! hahs . it was sooo lame ! and me , duh i'm the creator !

then after school went to marina square with mich to check out this tube top on sale . so yeah we were talking about lots of stuff and all and give our ratings to random guys at cityhall hahas . but didnt really see any . ohh wells . so walked around aimlessly at marina for a while . . just went in and out of shops . then we finally found that shop mich was talking about . and it turned out to be fourskin ! where i also got a top for sale ! then looked at the tubes so since it was 2 for 20 then bought one with mich . it has the words 'innocence' at the back ! hahhs . then went to diva where they were having like reductions on certain accessories and they were going cheap chEAP CHEAP ! ! but didnt have enough money so going back there tmr with lianne too . omg i'm so excited when i think about those accessories ! tmr there's touchdance too ! whee ~ but songs are changed to salvation is here and tell the world . hahhas good at least i already know the steps unlike majesty although i really liked the song ! yeah so anyways thats about my day . oh and i think i will be dropping to combined science . since dad thinks its better too , tatas ~