VANESSA

2008-12-30T01:09:00.002+08:00

Sigh, i miss my friends. Well, more precisely, I miss Nic and Lin. You know how great it feels to have two good friends both grounded in Christ that He becomes the pillar of our friendship? and that means we can share things we can't share with other people who don't understand.
I seriously hope we can finally meet this Friday. I miss them loads!

2008-12-29T22:47:00.004+08:00

Yes I'm finally back from the lovely holiday in Tokyo and Shenzhen/Hong Kong!
Had much fun there and I JUST ABSOLUTELY LOVE THE COLD WEATHER!
Oh man can i like live there or something?

Anyway, this trip really opened up my eyes to many things.
Like how some of those workers at dad's factory are my age or younger and they have to do all those manual labour stuff. it was really funny, cos the moment we walked in, every single one of them turned and kept staring at us. i felt like a celebrity for once! HAHA.
but it also leaves me to know how blessed i am, which is obviously the intention of my parents for bringing us there. well, it worked!

Sigh those pampering salon trips we had was such an experience too, you can never get that price in sing. AWW I MISS IT!

Anyways, i'm bloggin for a reason again. and that's to rant out my bottled up feelings and thoughts once more!

Okay first things first. There're a few things bugging me. so i'm gonna start with the most recent one.

Damn. school is starting tmr and i havent started on photog assignment 2 and the rest of the dreaded assignments that are due next week! OHMG.

the next thing, i feel like i'm missing out on lots of stuff. i feel like everyone else around me seem to be enjoying themselves, going out and shopping and interacting, while i'm stuck at home. although i do have lots of stuff to do like editing pictures all day today, playing Wii and clearing my room, and exercising and STARTING ON MY ASSIGNMENTS OMG. its really bugging me.
but i long to go out! ): like seriously. i feel like everyone has moved on except me.
although i know i'm really privileged in other terms, like family life. with dad getting a brand new big car, getting to go on a wonderful holiday and having a harmonious family and most importantly God in my life, what more can I ask for right?

well, there always seems to be more that i want than what i have now.
okay i shan't dwell on it, things will get better next year i hope.
here's to a wonderful 2009!

2008-12-08T19:11:00.002+08:00

OMG. I can't believe i'm back here blogging again. well, i kinda prefer to have my own personal blog y'know. anyway there's no particular reason why i'm back here. just felt like it, coming back to this blog and relieving the old memories and putting in new ones of course.

Anyway, today afternoon i received a phone call from a distant friend. Someone whom i've not spoken to in ages. It was for a favour of course, since now the exams are drawing near. I think it was kinda awkward at first? or so i felt, at the start. Haha i think i'm great at masking emotions over the phone. Too bad its not like that for me face to face.

So yeah, i wanna know how do i change this blog to be under my new email?
I really want to revamp this blog.
And revamp the whole tone of my previous 15- 16 year old self.
Gosh, when i read back on my old entries, i totally sound like some hyper kid gushing away about something.
Oh well. I have grown. Cliche as it sounds, its true.

2008-02-20T23:22:00.005+08:00

OHMG GUESSSSSS WHAT! i have been accepted into TP's communications and media management! ohmg i can't believe it! i was so so happy when i saw the 'congratulations' on the JPSAE website!

okay here's the whole story. i woke up early yesterday morning receiving an sms saying that i've been accepted into business/logistics/marketing in TP through jae. i was like really shocked and upset. and trying to accept it as i guessed that was probably where God wants me to go. in the afternoon i even went down to TP with Mich and her dad to ask about the appealing, and got my letter and resume all ready to send. haha i was advised to be super kiasu and send 4 copies of my appeal letter. Two by email to different addresses of course, one by post and one in person to TP itself. So i went to send two letters by email first, and today i went back down to TP with mich to deliver the letter when the people told me i had to make a copy of my ic and results slip as well! which i didn't, so i planned to go back tomorrow.

so in the end, me and mich decided to head off to town for shopping and eating! when on the bus, this lady from tp called and said she received my letter. then she asked if i checked my JPSAE results, then i was like no, cos i didnt know where to check it from. then she said it was the jpsae website. but i realised that when i tried to check yesterday, it said 'click for application' so i thought they wouldn't have it. but it turns out that i actualy have to click on that link to bring me to the login page!

okay digressing abit here. anyway at town, me and mich felt really accomplished today! cos we bought these really pretty dresses that were such a steal! and me, finally found my gold bangles. and her, this really nice tee that fits perfectly! yeah then after that we went to lido to eat and talk, and walked around topshop and found this golden top that was on sale!

yeah so back to the topic. reached home and i logged on to the jpsae website. and THE MOMENT I SAW 'CONGRATULATIONS' I FELT LIKE I COULDN'T BREATHE! and i just started laughing and screaming! it was like pure euphoria, something that i've not felt in a long long time! and i just kept thanking God over and over again cos he granted me the desires of my heart just like what it said in one of the psalms! GOSH I'M OVERJOYED NOW! I REALLY WANTED THIS SO MUCH AND HE GAVE IT TO ME! AHAHAHH I'M SO GLAD!

well now i just really hope that everything will go well for mich and her course. so that she can stay in tp, and me, mich and lianne can be in the same school! ohmg, seriously so happy now! thank God!

haha oh yes anyway, yesterday i went for the audition for NDP 2008 for the hiphop dancing thing that youthnet organised. met up with chrislyn and we headed to the alienated bedok camp. then we learnt the steps and all, which are so not hiphop! its more like aerobics/warm up exercises haha. then yeah we got chosen as 'hiphop' dancers while others were skyrunners. then all the hiphop people had to form this large circle and each of us were to take turns to perform one eighth of freestyle dance individually! nerve wrecking. then there was another round where a few of us had to stand inside the circle and dance around each other. hahaha it was damn hilarious! but it was totally fun. and we met alot of new people and made friends with them too, everyone was really nice and friendly. oh well, there'll be many more practices to come then!

ahh yay, can't wait for tmr. finally meeting up with mich and lianne after eons! and its dress day! haha and after that finally going to dance rehearsal again together with the adult dancers! (:

2008-02-17T20:54:00.002+08:00

What a week it was! Anyway to start things off, last week after service went to sha's house for visiting and dinner. Then the next day, monday, was my JPSAE interview for tp's mass comm! But firstly had to go back to school with glenda to collect our testimonials. And when i went there, Lopez was like 'oh i forgotten all about it! give me 10 mins, i'll go look for it' . so much for my letter. and mine was like just a draft, not the real thing unlike glenda's. seriously. Then went straight to tp, bumped into sherrie, amirah and farah. Was trying not to freak out, then it was finally my turn. All was fine till they asked me about my cca then i accidentally blurted out that i didn't participate in SYF. Ohmg i really felt so dumb, then i was trying despearately to think of things to say to cover it up. But all my words came out all wrong, and I felt even more nervous! They also asked me what type of magazines i read, so i said fashion magazines! Then luckily i remembered Newsweek in secondary school. oh well, i was being real and honest so hopefully they'll take that into account. Thank God in the end the interview ended on a good note!

The next two days were spent helping M about her whole situation. Goodness, i've never met a more cunning manipulative psychotic maniac in my whole life ever!

Oh yeah, and I did some baking for Vday! And it was spent with tiffany and michelle. Couples were bombarding every where we went, it was hard not to feel a little you know. But whatever, nothing beats being single and lovin it now after all that has happened. Anyway, we watched PS I Love You. And its not even that good! After headed for dinner, and sha came along too, at Raffles City.

Haha Friday was L's Big Night! Went over to her place in the afternoon to help her choose her clothes and prepare for whats to happen later on! It was so funny, she was like freaking out at first and I tried to calm her down but it wasn't much better for me either, as I'd be joining two complete strangers for dinner too! Then headed down to TM and we met them. They actually suggested Pastamania, but of course in the Rules are to NEVER eat pasta on a date. So we suggested our planned place Fish and Co, and we had a really early dinner. Dinner was real awkward, countless silences and L and i finished our 4 topics to talk about in less than 15 minutes! They didn't really elaborate or anything, but they were nice. Walked around after that, and headed to 77th street. Then there was this box full of 'magic boxers' that caught our eye, and we were staring at it wondering what exactly was that, when they came over. Then L asked him what was that! And his answer was a most hilarious one. So we burst out laughing and L was dying of embarrassment, it was so funny. After everyone settled down, we decided to go catch Jumper. And his friend decided not to join us, so you can imagine what a gigantic lightbulb i felt like because L didn't allow me to leave! But it wasnt as bad in the cinema. I decided to leave soon after the movie, which was obviously a good idea. Reached home and L called and told me everything. Gosh, she's head over heels now. But well, he got my approval!

2008-02-08T22:55:00.001+08:00

Its been so long since I blogged! Anyhows, i'm like in malacca now. And i'll finally be going back home tomorrow, yay. Anyway so many things have happened over the last couple of weeks. Like new year shopping with mom and friends over the last few days, botanic gardens picnic with tiff, nic and sherrie, catching up with sha, and bowling and the whole me and him thing. i'm having such mixed feelings every time i think about it. in other words, i know what 'm supposed to do and i'm trying but then i have doubts and i don't want to and all. oh well.

But then again, i'm sure all those things mean little compared to the big interview that my whole future depends on this monday for tp's CMM! ohmg, i'm so scared. but i can't wait too. anyhows. some chinese new year this is. it wasn't what i expected. i thought that maybe this year would be different, like maybe there would be more bonding and stuff like that. but it didn't really happen. like today, we went to the jetty for karaoke and all the oldies were hogging the mikes with their oldie songs. like really old canto/chinese songs of the 1960s era i think. i even fell asleep because i was bored to death. but whatever , perhaps someday things will change. like people will really express interest in each other's life with love and concern and talk to each other without any tinge of annoyance. hopefully someday, God will make a way on my whole family situation.

2008-01-25T23:53:00.000+08:00

Oooh i finally got back my results yesterday! The anticipation was killing me ever since wednesday night. and i didnt even sleep till 6am, no kidding! but well partly because i was on the line and had to finish nic and lin's scrapbooks at the same time. Then in the late morning, mich came over just like at that time during o's, and i felt like wow, ohmg time really flies because here we are awaiting our results. reached school and felt kinda sentimental as its gonna be the last time i'll be wearing the uniform and ever experiencing secondary school life again! sigh. i'm gonna miss lining up as a class accordding to index number and talking to the thirties, cheering my friends on and even listening to the little talks by the principal/teachers.

then well, the results were announced. this year we didnt do as well as expected. so yeah, i didn't achieve my target of 15 and below. because i got 16. was so upset at first cos like didnt meet the cop for mass comm. but like i think there's still hope now. anyway loads of people didnt do as well as expected. its kinda sad though. but after speaking to mom and her friend when i got home, i finally saw the light again. hahah, its true but cliche as that sounds.

then left the house again early to meet up with chrislyn at city hall. we decided to go for a nice big meal to cheer ourselves up from our results. so we headed to kenny rogers and talked about everything! then we realised that actually it was kinda our fault for not doing that well in humanities because during that time we went to lido to study together, we ended up buying so many donuts and gorging ourselves ! and we even went to walk around to look at the sales and tried on clothes! ohmg, we had such a good laugh about it and our silliness hahaha! so after dinner , headed to dance . and today was the audition/reassesment!

we learned a slow and fast choreography by kelvin. hmm it wasokay i guess, just that like so nervous! but then i improved since last time, hahah so i'm so happy (:

anyway today went to sp with mom to check out the media comm course. its okay i guess. i wouldnt mind goign there. but i'd rather go tp! and mich is considering going to tp too, for the new psychology course. thats another alternative for me too. and lianne! haha imagine if we all get into the same course , it'll be so fun!

before sp, mom took me out for lunch at Out of the Pan at raffles city. oh the crepes were so good! i can't believe this, but my parents are actually quite proud of me, i dont know why too. maybe because i surpassed their expectations. so they want to reward me! my dad's thinking of getting me a laptop soon. ohmg, thats unbelievable. and todaymom bought me that organiser from prints that i always wanted! so in the end, it was a good day. thank God for having such supportive parents, i really appreciate that! (:

2008-01-23T01:06:00.000+08:00

oh man. i'm so touched by psalm 22 because it reminds me of how jesus was tormented and despised during the cruxifixion but he beared with it because he loved us so.

anyway class dinner was just now at the 85 market! finally saw most people after a very long time! and mostly everyone was talking about their current jc life, which makes me comtemplate again whether i want to go there too. but then, i don't know. we'll see how the results are on thursday. OHMG, thursday! anyway i've finally found someone in my class who also wants to do mass comm in tp, amirah! haha yay, but of course it'll be true if i can get in .

ah well. i'm still looking for a job. i need to work badly because i need money to go shopping. BUT But but, chinese new year is coming! hahahah so there'll be cashhhh. ohmg i sound so money-faced.

looking forward to later, finally meeting mich. and nic and lin for dinner too! (:

2008-01-11T23:00:00.000+08:00

The past week has been much better so far! Finally got to meet up with people i've not seen for a long long time! And had loads of fun too as some shopping had been done as well, with lots of shops having sale and all.

Tuesday met up with tiffany and we headed to chinatown for awhile. I realised that there's quite some good shopping there too. can't wait to go again. and also to little india, heard there's a really good place for threading eyebrows. and then we travelled back to isetan scotts to meet mom, her friends, amelyn and her friend. it was a little awkward at first but in the end it was okay. and and i really dont mind going overseas to study! after amelyn told us about how highly paid the jobs are in perth and all the benefits, and definitely not forgetting the relaxed school system, i waaannt to go! but not now though, don't think i'm ready yet, probably after poly/jc or something.

Then on wednesday, met tiff and sherrie and headed to taka. Went for a nice nice lunch at tonkichi, i think? it was satisfying, no, our stomachs were filled to the brim, but it was good! ohoh i'm still extremely furious at my stupidity/carelessness! as i've lost fifty bucks due to carelessly stuffing it in my bag while rushing out of the house. now its gone so no shopping for me for the rest of the day.

thursday was rather tiring, worked out at amore before meeting chrislyn and heading down to ML to return our files. argh, i'll only be getting my pay in late feb/march! then went for dance, was really tired during practice, like had the 'i wanna go home and sleep now!' kinda feeling. but i the end it was quite fun, cos we learnt about the free dancing part!

ohh man, there's two things i need to get done urgently. find a good job that i enjoy and go take course-like dance classes. but unfortunately for the latter, the classes have already started at oschool/jitterbugs, so gotta wait till march.

Relaxing day today finally. Was beginning to feel worn out after being out everyday. so ended up goin to parkway for a little while with mom for tea and some grocery shopping.

Tomorrow's gonna be tiring too, cell devotion at east coast in the morning then going down town to do some flea market shopping. hope there will be some steals for dresses like the last time!
Breakfast and sol2 with chrislyn on sunday morning. that brings back memories with a particular someone, stupid ones though. okay maybe not, but i feel they are right now at this point of time.

2008-01-08T00:15:00.000+08:00

FINALLY COMING TO MY SENSES! :D

You know what, I've finally come to my senses. It was yesterday night after talking to him and today as well, as I pondered over what I've done and talked to God about it. And i'm really glad that i've finally come out of this trap of getting so overwhelmed by my own feelings that i tend to make stupid decisions. Like telling him how i felt about him. Yes i know, i can't believe i did that, and its like the first time i ever did something like this! I was so embarrassed after that and his reaction was not quite what i expected. But it wasn't bad, but i'm glad. Because i think it was neccessary for me to snap out of this falling in love fantasy of mine.

And yes! Two nights ago, i had this dream about him. It was a bad dream. To cut the whole long story short, i dreamt that he hurt me again. The feelings that i experienced in that dream were so real, the familiar 'stab in the heart' feeling and the tears that i cried in the dream. It was very emotional, and the whole point is that it was a reminescence of the past. This dream reminded me how it was like to be hurt, the feelings that i experienced last time became familiar to me again. And i can say that i definitely do not want to feel these horrible emotions any time soon, they're just so unpleasant. And when i woke up the next morning, the familiarity of those emotions are still there, even now as i'm typing this, i can still feel it.

I'm glad i had this dream because it gave me something to really think about, like whether do i want to experience them again, and whether what i'm doing now is worth it. I also believe that God gave me this dream for a very good reason. And today confirmed this belief even more asi was at Trumpet Praise and i came across this book about dream interpretations, and what God is trying to tell you in them. In the section on 'Past Relationships' , it says that having these dreams indicate that i'm tempted to fall back into old patterns and ways of thinking. and it is also a warning from God not to relapse into old habits and mindsets that were not profitable. When i read that, i was like 'OHMYGOSH! thats so true!' and i could really really sense that God was working and his plan for me was to kinda like stay away from him. Not that he's bad or what, but its probably best that way.

And having the conversation with Nic last night also helped. She definitely brought me to my senses too, by reminding me not to play with fire and not being so naive. Thanks girl! Even though after i talked to her, i still talked with him. But i'm glad that happened because this time our convo was different. It was just plain friend-ly and I felt weird after we hung up. Like kinda stupid, but THAT brought me to my senses as i realised it should stay that way.

My plan and promise this year is to develop a more intimate relationship with Him and really grow. I've also decided that i'm never letting any relationship that i'll have, be it friends or guys, sway and break my relationship with Him. Unlike what happened last year. But i've got no regrets because many memories were made and trials that had happened made me learn alot too. So i totally thank God for answering my prayer on leaving this whole matter in His hands and revealing to me what should be done.

I don't think a friendship with him is worth growing either because many times i've taken the initiative to try to get him to open up and talk about things. But its like he tells me he doesn't know what to say/he can't remember, and it gets boring. Like 'no creative juices ah!' Like he doens't really talk man! ohmygoodness. now i'm convinced that i should just not care about him anymore. wasting my time. that sounds mean, but thats how i really feel, because i have been wasting my time waiting for him anyway.

Oh man, this is super de duper personal. But never mind, I don't think he'll ever read this anyway!

2008-01-03T00:18:00.001+08:00

HELLO HELLO! its been liek so long since i last blogged. because so many things were going on, like intensive rehearsals for countown party and all.

but thats over already. so now i'm pretty free. well actually, VERY free!
and thats not all. looks like my fantasy about holiday flings are coming true. HAHA.

welllllllllll. its actually you again! as in you know who, who else can it be!
i wonder/hope thigns between us go well.
why can't i ever let go?
i think its because we never really ended it in the first place?

okayokay. all i need to do now is to guard my heart.
hurt, disappointment , pain , i don't want you to come back .

but its so difficult, when you just find yourself genuinely caring for that person again.
sigh. what am i going to do.

anyway i suddenly have the urge to go shopping in town. haha.

and also i've been having insomnia every night lately. last night i couldn't sleep so i went to eat till a full stomach before sleeping. i figured it prolly will work to help you sleep better?

tonight, i'm thinking , if i can't sleep , i'm gonna take a walk downstairs! haha. too bad i'll be alone, it'll be so much more fun if someone were to join me! (:

2007-12-21T22:36:00.000+08:00

yayyee! mom finally signed me up for amore fitness today! so went down to bugis for the hip hop class. gosh i must say that it really got my heart pumping , what a workout! can't wait to go for more classes (: then while i was on the way home, i received this prank call. super irritating. the person, whom i think its a girl was like asking me if i was an octopus? i think. i couldn't make it what she was saying. then she was like, go look at yourself in the mirror! and hung up. what the hell. and octopus?! that reminds me of something. or someone.

2007-12-19T01:12:00.000+08:00

1st day - 9 december

took the overnight flight. so reached seoul about 5am. it ws freezing!about -2degrees i think! then waited at the hotel lobby to check in, fell asleep on the couch until it was about 9plus am then went to eat buffet breakfast! after that took a bus up to the seoul tower. it was at the top of the mountain so could see some remnants of the snowfall a few days ago. and the rest of the day just toured around seoul to places like dongdaemun, but didnt get to do much shopping cos of the rest of the family.

2nd day - 1o december

woke up early. met the koh family downstairs at the lobby and we got a pic together. then headed to the everland theme park by bus. its apparantly voted one of the top 5 theme parks by forbes. and its erally not bad, they've got everything from a zoo, to golf course, to water parks and all. so first we visited the animals where we would sit on the enclosed bus and the lions, bears and tigers would be out in the open surroundding us! but i didn't get to try those thrillin adrenaline rush roller coaster rides! cos no one wanted to take them with me, argh! left early and headed to Lotte World. bought yummy Krispy Kremes. oh yeah, you know they're so generous, they actually gave one WHOLE donut as a free sample! then ate dinner at some jap restaurant. and oh, the food in korea is really expensive! walked around abit and headed back to the hotel.

3rd day - 11 december

SKI RESORT!

woke up early in the morning and together with the Kohs we took a Jumbo Taxi to the Lotte mart area to wait for the bus to take us to the YongPyong ski resort. its also the place where they filmed that korean drama winter sonata haha. after the 3 hour bus ride which i spent napping, finally reached the freezing ski resort! snow was everywhere, but we all couldn't wait to get into the hotel! then finally found it, so while waiting for the parents to check in, the girls were fascinated by this teddy bear christmas tree in the hotel lobby. that christmas tree was practically covered with litttle plush teddy bears that were so adorable! so everyone began to bond by secretly taking a teddy from the tree. complete with giggles and all. then we all headed up to the hotel first which they had very special rooms called ondohs or something like that. they're actually heated floors and we all have to sleep on the floor on mattresses. they say you canput a wet sock on the floor and it'll dry ! how cool is that! then went for lunch, bonded somemroe then went for skiing ! we all had NO IDEA how to ski at all but thanks to uncle koh , our instructor , we all managed to grasp it. it was so difficult at first, like climbing up the slope cos you just kept slipping back on going down was wayyyy scary too! and then and then so i fell down, thats when i noticed this guy! he's from singapore too. prolly on holiday. and . . . quite hot too! haha so then all of us decided to have a snowball fight. omg it was so fun! just like in the movies!

OKAY WAIT YOU KNOW WHAT. I'M TIRED OF TYPING EVERYTHING DOWN. BLEAH, JUST ASK ME ABOUT MY EXPERIENCE AND I'LL TELL YOU.

anyway the incident with that hot guy, nothing really happened. but there were some things! haha .

4th day - 13th december

Spent the whole day skiing today! right from after lunch all the way till the night! we bought the package for the ski lift today, which is this gondola chair which takes you all the way the mountain and then you ski all the way down. saved us all the energy from climbing up the slope! i was having ALOT of difficulty skiing down at first, i fell really really badly so many times and i felt like giving up too. but in the end with uncle koh's help, i manged to learn how to turn, which means you ski in a 'S' shape down the slope instead of going all the way straight, which is super fast, scary and not advisable. after mastering it, the rest was just pure fun. and we decided to try the other steeper slope and oh gosh all of us managed to ski all the way down without falling , including my little sis! we were ecstatic! but it was terribly cold too, our hands were frozen and numb. but i still miss the cold weather! sadly today I didn't get to meet anyone, especially that mr mysterious! ohh well.

5th day - 14th december

It was time to be off back on our way to Seoul. This time the bus ride was super fun because all the girls sat at the back and we were like playing all sorts of games, chatting about loads of stuff and listening to music and singing along! and surprisingly even though the other girls are quite young, like primary school, we can still talk about stuff like gossiping about people in our schools and like current stuff in the news, movies and the songs that I listen to. ohh, kids these days.

anyway we finally reached the hotel, and guess what? we camwhored alot, doing all sorts of poses. and it wasn't my idea okay, so now you can imagine what i mean by kids these days.

After that went up to our rooms to play again, before I left for shopping at night with mom, dad and the koh's grandma. we went to dongdaemun. because it was open till dawn . shopped for korean groceries at the supermarket first, and seriously they are extremely generous with samples, so we didn't need to have dinner after that! after that, me and mom carried on shopping at the dongdaemun street and bought really nice bags for such a pretty price, and everywhere was selling hoodies! some of them were really nice, i wanted to get them all! but it was also freezing , i think it was prolly 2 degrees out there. then i tried to convince mom to relish every moment of the coldness because it was our last day in seoul!

ACTUALLY THERE'S MORE. BUT I'M TOO LAZY TO TYPE EVERYTHING OUT.

2007-12-07T23:07:00.000+08:00

updates on this week!

Monday - The long awaited gathering between me , michelle and li anne! met real late, and we headed off to tow in search of a place to do manicures but we couldn't find it, and were really tired already. so we headed to new york new york for dinner! i think that can be our all time fav diner! then talked loads about whats going on with us and stuff like that.

Tuesday was nothing much except for dance at night.

and Wednesday was kinda a day full of miscommunications. But in the end, went to ikea forlunch with tiffany and linette. ate alot of the really nice food, then headed back to tampines where tiff left first and walked around with lin.

OH and yesterday! oh gosh it was the fun-nest! met up with chrislyn first before dance and we headed to central mall to get our free starbucks beverages, i drank the toffee nut frapp, it was so nice! then meixiu and her friend, veronica finally arrived and then we queued up again for another drink haha! was so embarrassed when the person told us we can queue as many times as we like , when we were talking about whether it was possible for another round. was so full after two drinks that we walked around a bit and took a bus down to dance. laughed super alot in the bus, and we were real late for dance!

but today it was rehearsing for this sunday's platform and i won't be around! cosi'm flying off tmr! and its really been a super duper long time since i've done platform! sigh but nvm.

anyway i was just reading back on my last year's post and i realised many things were repeated , like the last year's thrusday dance practice , before it, i went out and had a time of my life too, and so was yesterday. and i flew off on the 8th. which i also am doing so this year! ahhaa

sugar, my adorable cat. he looks hilarious here, because my sister's scaring him with dishwashing gloves!

2007-12-02T23:29:00.000+08:00

oh gosh, it think today was absolutely amazing! michelle came to join me for church today, and the message by nick vujicic was so touching that i'm really awed and i just feel so blessed after today. the fact that he chooses to trust in God and all even though he's born without arms and legs. but i can really see the beauty of God's love in him and the heart that he has. its just so touching man. and he's such a dear too, after service, we all went up to give him a hug and he said 'i love you' to me! well actually to everyone else too . but its like so, sweet and beautiful (:

haha then after cell , went to meet up with meixiu and her friend, an chrislyn and her cousin to check out the sitex fair thing. oh yeah , and looks like my cell leader still remembers about my NUM bag! oh man, i really really really don't want to return it! but luckily i won't be around next sunday HAHA! hope she doesn't remember about it during the week, i don't think i can give it up. BESIDES i think i ought to have that bag man! like you know, to make up for all those things he'd done.

anyway, over the last couple of days : found out many things from mich about that jerk. what a cunning, manipulative piece of . . . how could he say all those things to her, and about me as well! he's obviously trying to break up our friendship and fabricating stories and all! talk about being eloquent the wrong way!

but all these has made me realise that a relationship is really worth waiting for, so as to avoid any overthetop drama and insane boyfriends!

but no matter what, here's one thing i'll definitely stand firm to ; which is i'll never let any guy break up the friendship i have with any one of my girlfriends. after all, boyfriends can come and go, but girlfriends remain forever.

so plan for tomorrow is meeting up with michelle and li anne after a very very long time! looking forward to it, haven't seen and caught up with li anne for ages! (:

2007-11-30T01:46:00.000+08:00

whoohoo. the last two days was spent 'working' in shangri la with chrislyn, mich, and jiajun. its all part of this television event thing that requires alot of people to act as though this event is really popular i think? so yeah all we've done for the past two days, 5 hours each is slacking at the really nice hotel lounge, ordering drinks and food, which are all fully claimable. ahahha not bad, and yeah , we're paid to do that.

and today we ordered some nice alcoholic drinks like sex on the beach , which i think is by far my favorite (: and this white chocolate martini thing which was really weird and a couple of others too. anyway all the f&b are seriously overpriced, esp the ordinary sandwiches we ordered yesterday which cost 36bucks!

oh yes, and yesterday after our hotel stint, me mich and jj ate at subway where we were laughing hysterically at jj's hilarious antics ohmg! we even made this bet for bowling, liek me and mich's scores combined to see if we can beat jj to it! and if WE WIN, he'll have to wear a This Fashion dress and parade around orchard singing to the theme song of powerpuff girls! and apparently he does it quite well HAHA. as for us, if we lose, we'll hav to get into recyling bins and act like those chinese cat figures whose paw goes up and down with our tongue sticking out. with a sign over our heads that reads 'I am a cute doggie' . obviously a species mix up!

but now, there prolly won't have this competition anyway. it all started with jj telling me irritating ghost stories that made me get scared while doing our surveying later at night. and when i was leaving first to the bus stop (late at night!), he shouted away 'BEWARE OF THE CLOWN!' wth, i was so pissed! which ended up he and mich having a huge quarrel, so now i don't know how.

ohwellls. DANCE TODAY! oh wait i mean just now, as in like thursday night (:

we learnt the opening dance for countdown party. Alive and Hurricane. well it was quite okay. i'm glad i did better this time round, so i felt. but i still feel so inadequete because i don't even have proper dance training! so tmr i'm going for salsa classes with together with mich and chrislyn and her cousin. and when i get back from korea i'm going straight to Amore to take up their dance package there! don't care !

and and i've to stop working soon. apparantly parents are not happy with this job that makes my prime time at night. sigh, but for now, its more and more cash collecting! (:

2007-11-24T23:35:00.000+08:00

You know what, feelings are coming back again. Not those type of romantic feelings, but the hurt is. I just keep thinking about everything and when I read back on my previous posts, it just reminds me of those happy and super sweet memories that I wish I could turn back time and go through it again. And those horrible ones where I experienced so much pain and confusion, which makes me detest that person. So its like I'm having mixed feelings again. And i don't know what to do. Part of me longs for things to stay the same way, but reality is it prolly will for about a week? Then he'll go back to his old ways. Well, thats exactly what happened. Bittersweet. Part of me doesn't want to let go, but if I don't, how will I ever move on. I really need alot of determination and encouragement I think. Meeting new people is an option, but not a very good idea because it'll be like a substituition method and deep inside I prolly haven't let go yet, and in future I'll prolly be dependant on this , which really isn't good at all. Because now all I need is to be dependant on God.

Yeah anywayy, yesterday the three of us went back to international plaza to hand in our surveys. And there was this little confict that made us part our ways. So its just me and mich and him doing it alone. Well fiiinnee, we'll show who's the more efficient one. Because apparantly , somebody can't stand our perpetual lateness and 'irresponsibility'. So after planning our whole route, off we went to east meadows and completed all the surveys successfully! Then walked to the blocks of flats opposite our houses to complete a few others and we met a few very disgusting creatures on the way! Anyway alot of walking was done, but its good because we're burning all those excess calories from burgerking! All in all, we completed 13 surveys in 3 hours! HAHA thats 84 bucks each! YAY!

Oh yeah, today after dance went to parkway and ate at this so called Parkway Thai restaurant with Chrislyn. We indulged in the buffet spread! Which is actually very Singaporean in fact, with the usual fried rice, beehoon, chicken wings. It wasn't even Thai at all man! Where was the tomyam and olive rice and phadthai! Felt abit cheated, but it was quite cheap so I guess its okay. And we ate ALOT, felt super bloated after that haha but I love food so who cares! OH WAIT, have to exercise too! Yeah walked around for awhile and she showed me super cool card tricks ! Felt so sleepy after eating so much my gosh but at least we had a good time . (:

Tomorrow I'm doing church choir for service again! Sigh this really brings back memories especially on Thursday. Because I remember earlier this year, when my tribe did the choir, it was because of it that we started to being close. Just that this time, he isn't here to be in it. Thats why I wish like I could turn back time , to go through it again. Its always at the beginning when everything is the sweetest and the most mood-lifting which makes you just wanna skip around and go lalalala. Sigh but reality strikes again, that'll NEVER happen. So I wonder how tomorrow will be, hope nothing will happen that'll trigger of memories of the past.

2007-11-24T23:08:00.001+08:00

I feel really enlightened now, as if there's a new hope in my heart and all that down-ness and sadness are beginning to disappear. Well its actually because today there was dance rehearsal and throughout I just couldn't seem to do it well , like I feel so drained and out of energy, like as if there wasn't any spark and enthusiasm to keep me going. And also many other unfortunate events happened so as a result I ended up feeling really shit after the practice right until now. I felt as though I couldn't make it, couldn't dance it, and really pressurized too.

Until just now when i began searching for the lyrics for 'I Believe' , the song we're dancing to, then I started to realise that ohmg, this song says it all, and its about believing I can and not giving up and holding my head up high. Such irony right, that I was dancing to this song and I felt that I couldn't make it. But now, after reading those lyrics, I'm starting to feel really determined to just go all out and practise as hard as I can for this dance, because its going to be for God! So here are the lyrics!

Yolanda Adams
I Believe

They said you wouldn't make it so far a a
And ever since they've said it its been hard
But never mind that night'cha had to cry
Cause you had never let it go inside
You worked real hard and you know exactly what you want and need so believe
And you can never give up
You can reach your goals
Just talk to your soul and say

[Chorus:]
I believe i can
I believe i will
I believe i know my dreams are real
I believe i can
I believe i will
I believe i hold it soon man
That is what i do believe

Your fools are justes singing, your soul aha
And you know that your moves will let them show
You keep creating pictures in your mind
So just believe they will come true in time
It will be fine leave all of your kiss and stress behind and
Just let it go
Let the music go inside again the pain
It just start to believe

[Chorus]
[Rap passage]

At third my yet what people say
Hold your head high and turn away
With all my hopes and dreams I will believe
Even though it seems it's not for me
I won't give up, i'll keep it up
Looking to the sky
I will achieve on my knees
I will always believe

[2x chorus]

2007-11-20T23:44:00.000+08:00

yesterday and today was job training/job interviews at business hotspots with mich and jj. went for some telemarketing job training thing at raffles place yesterday for sph mags. and gosh i felt like i was in school okay! with script writing and had some role-playing too which reminded me alot about drama cca. stayed there for about 6plus hours then we went to tanjong pagar to enquire about the survey job. but they told us to come back tmr. then went for dinner with family at swensons, was so darn tired.

and today we went back to tanjong pagar again. and looks like we had an added benefit of another job! we're appearing as an 'acting crowd' for some television programme i think (: sounds like a relatively easy and much more fun than sound desk bound job of calling people all day long! with quite a good pay too (: and yup so after the survey training too, its for the ida singapore on some technology thingy and we've all gotten our files and name tags. felt so professional! haha and the best part, working hours and days are so flexible, you can work anytime you like!

gosh you know what, i don't think i'm gonna give up my beloved NUM bag! after all , i did deserve it!

2007-11-18T22:16:00.000+08:00

OHMYGOSH! i haven't blogged for goodness knows how long ! well hello blogger i'm back ! so many things have happened i don't know where to start! ah okay anyways lets start with after O's , yes its finally over ! and ever since then last week has been going out to town and all looking for grad night stuff. and i finally dyed my hair on tuesday before heading to attica at night ! but it was dumb cos we didn't get in again after eating thanks to some fight. argh but definitely more clubbing to come ! then i finally got my new nokia phone on wednesday (; thursday was grad night stuff again before heading back to dance in church ! and now we're already rehearsing for countdown party! dancing to this song called 'I believe' in the movie Honey! then Friday did nails and hair with Mich before Grad Night. well it wasn't that bad except the hall looked liked the hall. and after that some band came to play and we were all dancing crazily around the hall and going high together! haha. then after the whole thing , went to haagan daz with sa and tiff. what a night (:

saturday had dance again in the morning, then went job hunting in town with chrislyn and meixiu. and we were just reminiscing about the past like how we were just rehearsing for countdown party last year, and now we're rehearsing it again! and how time just flies.

ah and well today. church. the message was on forgiveness and it really struck me. and i went out for minstry. i needed to forgive that person for what happened recently and probably to let go of past hurts and forgive him on that. i broke down quite alot and also shared my whole experience with rachel. and well after sharing everything with her , turns out that this whole issue is gonna get quite messy too. he'll probably be real mad at me as well, but i really hope everything will end well. and we'll all learn form this, especially him .

2007-09-09T21:37:00.000+08:00

Today was great, but a little heart-wrenching. Met up with Shawn, Tiffany , Sha and Adrina for awhile before service, and seeing them just makes me feel so sad , because now I'm not part of them already. Especially darlings sha and adrina. When I think about all the fun and crazy times we had, and now its going to be gone, I can't help tearing. I miss them so much . Everyone of them, and now we're not going to be that close anymore, beacuse its all different, and kinda difficult too. But anyway after that, they walked me to my new cellgroup , and actually it was quite okay because I already know most of them there. I hope I'll be able to adapt well and stuff, even though its difficult now, but i guess its the best solution.

And today the Paradise band from australia came to play for service. Their songs are so nice, I totally love them ! And today from the sermon I 'm more aware that sin can lead to sickness. And yeah, its so true! After service, most of everyone left and so for cellgroup, rachel pea jenna wenshan and I , drove to the changi industrial park nearby, and went to the exact same shelter that me and him went the first time we met, and the memories flooded back . But whatever la, today was a sunny day, so there's alot of difference compared to last time. Anyway cell was good, and we each took walks with God around the park. and God really spoke to me and made me realise many things, like how life is going to be SO MUCH BETTER without him in it. And i believe that! After that, we found some lovegrass and took pictures with it by the pond. And i must say that park is really nice in a different way, filled with memories.

I think i really drew closer to God after today. The worship, the cellgroup time, the walk with God. All these made me feel much better about everything. And so now, I really hope to get to experience the new situations, the family bond, the fun and laughter that I used to have. Its been ages since I've felt this way. So I thank God, because he made me realise that this would be whats best to happen.

2007-09-08T00:09:00.000+08:00

oh yay, my life is getting better so far, except for the fact that i'm forced to be stuck at home everyday that home's becoming like a prison to me, but definitely more luxurious though . the only day i could like ever go somewhere was on tuesday. with studying at the airport with Mich, Jiajun and his weird friend/maid Sean . Then had to rush back because of mom, which made me tell Mich everything that has happened to me so far. Glad she knows though, its so difficult to hide everything, and she was a great help to me too . The rest of the week is mugging mugging and more mugging. Please I do hope that I remember everything that I've studied!

Oh yeah, and so that Friday when we went back to that place, oh well, nothing happened! Great , that means the whole issue will be prolonged even more. Then they said they'll call us up again, so lets just wait and see.

And today, after Bio tuition at parkway, me and Mom met Rachel, my new cell leader. Sigh , yeah i'm gonna change cellgroup and all now. and i'll miss everyone back at Shawnie's cell terribly! But i'm glad after today, after getting to know Rachel better and stuff, I can't wait for a whole new beginning and family ! And this sunday I'll be finally going back to youth! and meeting a whole new group of people too . How exciting!

Tomorrow i'll be going to a another Chemistry group tuition with Lianne , taught by Amy too . Its in Orchard, hahahaha! yay, at least i get to go there (: ohmg, i sound like a sad no life person. But who cares , its just 7 more weeks to endure. Then once O's are over, I'm gonna shop like mad, go for manis and pedis at Dashing Diva, PARTY ALL NIGHT LONG ! and take up dance classes , do my hair and etc! So , perservering on now!

2007-08-26T16:13:00.001+08:00

I've no time to blog or what nowadays . so i guess i won't be doing much after this anytime soon . and i'm not at church today, since last sunday my life is such a roller coaster ride . too many things have been happening to me lately . and they're all horrible things, distracting me . especially what happenind last sunday, 19th august . went out with Sha and Adrina before service , and something happened that changed our lives, we never made it to church. the rest of our sunday was ruined , being stuck in that horrible place for hours. It was just so scary , and i felt so many feelings i never felt before that day, and this past week . anxiety, anger , fear, shame , guilt . i've let everyone down . but then again, we've all got to accept our own consequences . maybe it was a good things that it happened , or else we'd never stop anyway . and my parents too , how disappointed they were, made me feel even worse. but Sha and Adrina , i still love the both of you no matter what happens . i'll never forget this experience , and even though i just have this feeling we're not going to be that close now onwards , i'll never forget you guys and all the things we went through together and the past two years . one day when we're all much older , hopefully we'll get the chance to look back together at all our experiences and realise how much we've been through , and even laugh about them .

Now what i really have to do is get my life back on track again. I've been such a different person the past month . and now i really thank God for having so much mercy on us, as things could've been much worse. and now there's my parents, aunty clare , the church all praying and helping me . how could i ever thank God enough , after what i've done? But i'm glad that God and everyone else is giving me a second chance , and a new beginning too, in terms of church and my walk with God . I can't wait , but yet i feel really terrible to leave everyone behind . because they were the ones who helped and moulded me first . and perhaps , i'm sorry that i've got to do this . it hurts when you think about it . next week , i really wonder what the outcome will be , but i really pray God's mercy will be on all three of us , and nothing will happen .

The other thing now is the whole Biology tuition controversy . Gosh, this whole thing that happened really made me , and Mich too , think twice about who we trust and believe , especially guys . never did we expect to meet someone that cunning , manipulative , hypocritical . and this has distracted us greatly from our wonderful study plans . but its okay, cause we gonna go through this together and not let this dramarama incident affect us ! we're gonna concentrate on our studies and be best friends with it for the next 2 months ! and at the end of this whole incident , we've really became smarter and not as gullible before . that will teach guys not to mess with barbie doll and polly princess HAHAH , anyway guys are jerks . be sceptical of all of them . thats what we learnt .

2007-08-12T20:41:00.000+08:00

ARGH ! I LOST MY DARLING GLAMOROUS ENGAGEMENT RING IN CHURCH TODAY ! OMG ITS MY MOST FAVOURITE RING I HAVE EVER HAD AND I'M REALLY DISTRESSED NOW , AND I CAN NEVER BUY IT AGAIN BEACUSE THEY ARE ALL SOLD OUT FOREVER !

i have no idea where is it ! i remember going to the toilet with adrina during service and i think i might have absent mindedly threw it in the bin , but how can it be ? i'm not so dumb ! but, its possible . SIGH , MY RING ! ohwells .

hahahahahha anyway after service , sha, adrina and i , oh and plus adrina's new bf and his friend , trained down to raffles city for some spreeing action ! gosh it was LOVE. and it seriously took my mind off certain things that i SAW today in church. argh PISS ME OFF ! i'm so angry okay ! but never mind , after ranting about all the bad and gross points , i feel MUCH MUCH better! hahahahahh! take that man , you loser! i'm going to make you see how much you're losing out hahahha , serve you right man, you deserve it ! humph .

yup and before service , went shopping with tiffany at vivo (: i'm still thinking about that purple and silver striped jumper from pull and bear . sigh, i really think i should get it soon ! anyway it was fun , talk loads about many stuffs ! then went for lunch at superdog and off to church .

and yesterday too , went for this cd releasing performance at st james with tiff sherrie and rachel . took loads of pics (: then after that had dinner at vivo and yewjin came along too . ate so much ! hahha then walked around more and saw some really nice clothes which was why me and tiff went back again today ! gosh yesterday really was funny ! and tiffy's so lucky la ! hahah (:

oh great back to school tomorrow . and chinese O's results tomorrow too ! I'M SO SCARED ! God , i really pray that i'll at least get a C5 ! please please i hope and pray or else i really think my whole day will be ruined already ! (: haha okay then i have like more important things to do now so yeah i'm gonna do them . okay whatever that sounded dumb . anyway, goodbye world !

2007-08-09T22:31:00.000+08:00

yesterday!

i'm sunburnt! argh i hate it cos it itches all over , but oh wells we were too lazy to put sunblock so it was definitely our fault! yesyes , one of the top ten beauty sins . hahah , anyway sentosa was fun ! lying on the beach with music and magazines and chips ! and freshly painted yellow and orange nails (: FUUNN . then after that headed to vivo for awhile, and we went to warehouse. hahahah love that shop , and only two of us will know why ! after that went to parkway and collected my retainers ! i dont like the feeling of wearing it , but thankfully it was not painful at all .

went back home and prepared for the night out (: hahahha back to sentosa again , for krunk2 !
it was enjoyable in some ways, but could've been much better man ! yeahhh , dance dance dance all night on the sand ! can't wait for more of all these after o's ! and, i dont feel bad at all for having fun , BECAUSE i studied before i went ! hahahha .

nothing much today though, but mugging session with mich tmr before bio tuition . and saturday with the appointment and the gig thing , then church on sunday (:

2007-08-06T17:33:00.000+08:00

okay, i didn't go to school today . went to the docs and then planned to study the whole day. i have to , i'm getting really worried , its only about 2 and a 1/2 months more . and i can't stand it that once i've studied something , i forget it so quickly ! i don't know why too, that i've been feeling kinda down these few days, like exams exams and all, its like i've no mood to be hyper and cheerful anymore . sigh oh well , anyway FOP on saturday was great! really felt the presence of God , and worshipped Him like never before , its been such a long time since i worshipped him in this way, so it felt real great . (:

then on sunday, was the usual church day. i really have no mood for anything, no mood for being happy, or exercising or doing crazy things. everything seems so dull now , and i dont know why yesterday i suddenly missed him again. and it brought my mood down further. i just can't wait for all this to be over.

burger king with adrina after service!

2007-08-03T23:04:00.000+08:00

YAY NO MORE BRACE-FACE !
went to see the dentist on wednesday and now they’re gone ! one year and eight months . wow that’s how time passes so quickly. the whole process of taking out was more uncomfortable rather than painful, especially the playdoh mould thing they stuffed into my mouth . eeew hahaha . i couldn’t stop smiling to myself yesterday haha , mom says that i don’t look like her daughter anymore! something about me looking so different when i smile . oh wells haha .

ANYWAY i haven’t been updating loads ! okay lets see , well last weekend was really great and meaningful too . Saturday was the Take the City walk thing at the padang . got there like really really early in the morning . and then warmups and all before heading up the stage . haha it was better than i expected , no unglam moments for me , thankfully (: then met up with sha , adrina and the rest . and off we went walking and talking . well here’s a secret : we walked just about three quarters of the journey then we went off to get a cab to Clarke quay . well there was a good reason for that okay , i suppose . hah the place was extremely quiet except for a few people who looked like they were on an amazing race thingy. took quite a few pictures and off we headed to wisma for such a sumptuous and fulfilling breakfast. ordered LOADS of food ! then walked around abit , before heading to raffles city with adrina after sha had to go . ohgosh there at raffles , we SPREED like mad ! warehouse , river island , Robinsons . the train ride home was madness because dear adrina transformed into a crazy woman and took out a bra from my bag for the whole train to see . hahahahha

Sunday was great too . met adrina darling early again and we went to Marina for more shopping and spreeing . went to topshop , and ohoh yes john little ! had such a HUGE , but delicious lunch again, gosh i’ve been eating quite a lot lately , never mind if its not unhealthy food ! after which we went spreeing at jl , it was just damn damn hilarious , with all our 'where's mommy? and i'm gonna ask mommy to buy this for me hur! ' ohmg hahahahahh.
anyway after that we were like really really late so got a cab off to expo and oh the cab ride there felt so surreal , because firstly the cabby got into a minor accident with this motorist so we stopped in the middle of the highway while he went to resolve the argument . then looking at all the stuff , well it was like we were finally snapped back into reality and those feelings we felt , it was really painful , like something being pushed into your heart. it was like we could feel God's heartbreak . so then we prayed , and after service at the altar call it was really good . we prayed together like never before , and after that we felt so much better . gosh i really thank God so so much for this . and we made agreements too , to never ever do this again .
then adrina came over for awhile after service and we tried on all our different clothes and stuff ! hahahh and guess what , we both can fit into Barbie kids size dresses! and the dress is actually NICE okay !

ANYWAY , today was simply such a hilarious day at school . chinese lessons were spent with all of us playing this finger teet-teet game and the goggles up game ! haha and how unfortunate that i had so many embarrassing moments today too . first it was the lakerol wrapper that looked SUPER WRONG , and the national geographic close up shots of really really scary disgusting-looking big RED ANTS! the moment i turned the page i jumped , because it scared me so! and becky caught my reaction , and the rest is just too humiliating to mention!

oh and yay i finally quitted the sec3 class for bio tuition (: (:

yay there's Festival Of Praise tomorrow! gonna be going with classmates , can't wait ! and on sunday too with church darlings!
looks like this weekend is going to be great again :D

2007-07-24T21:18:00.000+08:00

i'm finally done with chemistry tuition and gosh i'm feeling so tired for doing any work or studying now . and and there's like TEN tests this week ! someone save me , its so tiring la .
sigh and lets just say last weekend was bad ): but i seriously hope this weekend will be great with dad coming back and a sumptuous family dinner to look forward too and and, the Big Walk on saturday! me and adrina volunteered to help out with the warm ups so we'll be on stage at the padang ! whoa , hahhahah (:

yesyes , anyway that'll be all for now. till then , its nerding :/ and hopefully little spreeing/shopping trips with darlingzx in between !

2007-07-21T22:19:00.000+08:00

today today was such a wonderful MISSION ACCOMPLISHED day . so much better than what i've experienced in the past man ! so much better than you! had cell first outside church and then met girlfriend and we bused to town from parkway and headed first to wisma , but unfortunately topshop and f21 was like such a MAJOR disappointment ! anyway then went to isetan , and ohmg we did major spreeing there man , all those pretty tops , gosh and it was such a mission accomplished (: and the best part was when we rushed out to the toilets and did major unpacking from our shopping bags and had crazy laughing fits (:

after that headed down to cityhall's river island . LOVEEE that shop (: spreed on so many accessories , it was such a happy happy day. new clothes , new accessories = taking my mind of things not worth thinking about, like him . huhh! i dont care now , i'm in such a pissed mood , WHATEVER LA ! go do what you want, your life now anyway so why should i care so much . nevermind , i can find happiness in so many other things , like girfriends , shopping and the whole .

i had such fun today, girlfriend , and gosh i cant wait to do it again , even though you know , hahahha ! oh wells . mission accomplished once again (:

and the load of accessories !

2007-07-19T19:00:00.001+08:00

i guess i'm taking it better than i'd expected , well thats good right .
keeping myself busy seems to work real well (:
oh but enough about that . now i shall just do whatever i want and whatever i like . no frills no barriers no nothing (:

so then went out shopping with adrina yesterday at vivo . ohmg , it was fantastic , we went crazy spreeing on much accessories (: shades, chains and bangles ! and its extremely addictive too , hahah LOVE IT . andand our crazy laughing fits as usual when we succeded in our plans! then nito met us halfway and headed to eat at superdog before training home . yayyaye can't wait for saturday's plan !

today was some racial harmony thingy at school . we all had to wear like ethinic stuff and all , but then fourseven wore our class tees . its like we created our own race or something , haha . and and its really so comfortable to come to school in a bigbig polo tee , shorts and slippers. we should have this everyday (:

oh and well . like my week last week was practically just horrible and stress-filled . family stuffs and us , i reallly felt i couldnt take it at that time . but well, i got through it, but thinking back i seriosuly hated all those emotions i felt during it . its like a whirlwind, a complete mixup of anger and hurt all trapped inside , and i felt as though i couldn't let it all out , which made it even worse . sigh , now like things are gone and all , and i still miss you. i'm wondering what the future holds . yeah time will tell , but still everythings so so unpredictable . and i cant stand it when things are , there's like no stability, you see . but then again , there's nothing i can do about it .

2007-07-15T17:33:00.000+08:00

its all over . everything is over now . i'm trying hard not to think about it , not to think about anything . but its so hard . i dread it when morning comes , when i wake up , i dread that first thought that comes to my head . its like reality sinking in , and it hurts . oh gosh . i'm in a disarray of emotions , i dont know what to do . i just feel like not doing anything , sitting on a gigantic grass patch on a hill , letting time pass by , thinking and reflecting. but then again , like as if there's time to do all that .

God save me .

2007-07-11T21:13:00.001+08:00

monday was a real horrible day.

everything just went wrong and things just seem to get blown up and become worse. especially concerning the whole church , family , and you thing .

but things are better now , thank God.
but it could get better, and now i just hope it will .

today was an embarrassing day.
hahahha sigh that picture la ! i must have turned tomato red :/

2007-07-11T19:42:00.000+08:00

TRANSFORMERS yesterday with sherrie .
IT WAS REAL REAL GOOD (:
everyone should watch it !
and tomorrow it'll be HARRY POTTER with mich .
haha yayyaye movies movies this whole week round ! (:

2007-07-08T19:59:00.000+08:00

forget everything . i'm pissed and i'm tired . i hate all this . i hate today . what a stupid day it was. tsk church .

at least yesterday was perfect, had a super great time yesterday . went to the SP open house with tiff kim val sherrie claire . it was okay la , rather boring actually . so we left quite early and headed down to town with two of tiff's friends and had an early dinner at wisma's food republic . then rushed all the way down to SJI to catch some uniform group parade thingy . we actually ran towards the school HAHA . it was like we went there to watch 8 people fainting, it was prolly too hot , standing there so still for ages. heatstroke , poor thingg! then went back to town for SHOPPING (: (: hahahaha spent a long long time camwhoring at hyatt hotel and at lido all and the bigbig Mango too . yeah wells had such a fun time yesterday (: YAY haha .

2007-07-06T23:31:00.000+08:00

haha my week has been great so far ! firstly well , on sunday after service went for such a sumptuous dinner at fish and co (: yayyee then erm , well actually i cant really remember what else happened . ohohh i also went swimming 2 times too ! haha then lets see , oh today at school was the funniest ever ! todays supposed to be wear something green day to save the earth or something for that Live Earth thingy . so then we all wore those shrek ears hairbands from macdonalds cos they were green too . which reminds me of that time when me and adrina had laughing fits because of that ECP macs guy at the counter with the long long fringe and shrek ears ! HAHAH and it was so cute , we looked like a class of little shrekies/shrektykes ! wore those hairbands the whole day long , from recess and lunch we all wore them down in a whole big group of us all walking together . basically, fourseven was the centre of attention the entire day (: took loads of pics and we were all so united too , haha sweet (: FUN ; LAUGHTER .

hmm SP open house tmr
and church on sunday.

which reminds me , UGH ! i'm really quite pissed :/ with that girl .
TSK TSK TSK .

FISH AND CO (:

SAVE THE EARTH DAY !

2007-06-30T23:14:00.000+08:00

anyways anyway , i didnt go to school yesterday . my throat was killing me . coughing nonstop and i couldnt talk properly , and also didnt want to pass it on to my dear classmates so when to the doctor's . but yeah i missed out on alot , and i'm real worried . sigh , i'm gonna study very hard everyday i promise . had the scariest lunch with mom yesterday . went to this german place to eat and when i was trying to enjoy the food , she kept bombarding me with questions
about what happen last week while she was away. turns out she really did go check the condo cameras and she knows more than i expect . it was so scary i tell you, and she made me spill everything out . so yea , she knows now ):

ohoh thursday was lianne's birthday . so to miss the mass in the morning and to celebrate it , we headed off to the airport and had a real fulfilling birthday breakfast at Breeks cafe . its 24hours haahhaah , so next time uh, in the middle of the night . . . it'll be a good place to spend there (:
but ah wells , i think no more of that until prolly exams are over .
yeah so anyway after that we went to enjoy the deliciously sinful warm chocolate cake at Starbucks , it was heavenly but kinda too chocolatey . the couches were really comfortable that we attempted to nap for awhile , haha ! it was unsuccessful though . then we were late already so cabbed all the way back to school at recess . turns out the mass ended earlier than expected . oh wells didnt miss out on much anyway (:

2007-06-30T22:59:00.001+08:00

ohmg this is like so so embarrassing/annoying !
my dad's like asking me about my personal life now , making me admit it !
gosh , there's no way i'm gonna admit it , i mean to my parents ?
its like , i'm so not gonna tell you kinda thing !

KH says:
must be something .....
KH says:
like got some feeling like that ???
vanessa ; its unpredictable , its unseen . says:
but its not affecting my studies what
KH says:
haha .. so you admit
vanessa ; its unpredictable , its unseen . says:
admit what?
KH says:
that you got some feeling for him
vanessa ; its unpredictable , its unseen . says:
no laa..
KH says:
wait wait.... if got no feeling why talk on the phone till the wee hours of the night
vanessa ; its unpredictable , its unseen . says:
as normal friends what
vanessa ; its unpredictable , its unseen . says:
i also talk to my other friends until the wee hours of the night
KH says:
hahaha,,, your other friends are girl friends, talking to boy for so long sure got something
vanessa ; its unpredictable , its unseen . says:
noooooooo .

2007-06-27T18:03:00.000+08:00

school school , the past three days . well it wasnt so bad just that i had such a hard time keeping myself awake for the first two days . today was much much better thanks to my 4hour long nap yesterday (: oh and time really passes so darn fast . everyone keeps reminding us prelims is in 2 months . and yeah thats a good reason why i should actually be studying like now . the days hadnt gone quite well too , all because of my mom finding out more stuff and all . and now she's taking away my phone every night , its hell unfair . i'm in need of just buying the mango denim shorts then i'll be fine and not shop for a very long time , i promise . anyway i'm grounded too so yeah . she found out la , i'm quite sure she knows more than she's supposed to know on what we did while she was away . and that totally sucks big time .

oh great my phone bill just came . i'm in effing deep shit with my mother , again . she's f-ing angry and i bet now she's gonna take away my phone for good . whats this world coming to . whats with my mom . its gonna be another night spoiled by her , AGAIN .

2007-06-24T18:09:00.001+08:00

its like a sunday evening now and tomorrow school will start again . oh wow i so cant wait man . yeah, right . these two days have been like total crap , mom came back and she found out about the things i've been doing while she was away. and like now everything isnt really going the way as planned . argh church. i didnt even want to go today. inside i feel sick and tired of everything , and now my throat hurts too .
where are you when i need you;

2007-06-22T00:26:00.000+08:00

these past two days has been FUN FUN FUN (: adrina came to stay over yesterday . we met up with those bikers last night again , just chilling by that rooftop playground . thanks to me , there was a kiss going on HAHA .

woke up real late today and we went shopping at marina and raffles . HAHA there's some tv commercial interview thingy thats going on tmr . and they called us to go down for it . hahha woooww i can't wait (: mom's coming back tmr , heard loads from her and the shopping paradise in shanghai . it was like heaven that she bought 10 pairs of shoes for us . haha yay there's no bio tuition tmr night so finally going shopping again with mich and lianne again .

oh yeah tonight there's gonna be fun again . adrina's staying over again . tsk , waiting for her to come back from hafiz's house now . this is so annoying la , they dont wanna let her come home . haha and we have plans for later again la .

gosh something scary just happened . but luckily everything is still okay .

seriously some people are starting to get on my nerves . so irritating . well thanks loads, girlfriends . we've all been through it and cant stand her !

2007-06-19T23:00:00.000+08:00

YOU'RE MY OCTOPUS (:

HAHAHAHAHAH

OCTOPUS AND SOTONG <3

2007-06-19T20:03:00.000+08:00

oh wowwhee . today was like so FUN (: ! went shopping and eating at newyork2 ! met adrina darl and we headed off to bugis in search of clothes and accessories. spent a bomb at diva today . gosh . ah wellls then we met the two and went off to newyork2 to eat . oh i'm in love with the food there (: stayed there for like so long , hahah it was so retarded . then met (:(: on the way home hahah yayyaye (: muacks .

2007-06-17T21:12:00.001+08:00

i've just been thinking , and come to realise how much i lost touch with Him . i wonder where that fire and joy in knowing and serving Him has gone . and you know what, i feel guilty and maybe a little down at times. which make me realise how much life isn't complete without Him in it. at times like these when our relationship isn't going strong , i feel like there's an empty space in my heart. and i feel the empty space giving me that nagging feeling that i have to do something about it . and at times like these , circumstances in my life change , circumstances that make me realise that i can't do without Him , that its impossible not to have Him in my life . and then i remember about this special 'conscience' that i have , the one that speaks to me so clearly , guiding me through decisions . i can't ignore this conscience , or else it'll just disappear altogether one day. and i dont want it too . sigh there're so many issues in my life right now that i know i have to deal with . i haven't been going strong , but sometimes its just so difficult to get back on track with God , because after awhile i'll tend to stray again . oh someone help me please.

today morning was scary. HOW ON EARTH COULD SHE HAVE SUSPECTED? like its so random that she called so early in the morning , cos usually we're all still sleeping . like as though she had KNOWN it was gonna happen . what if there're like cameras around that i dont know of! omg i'm seriously so scared , she can be the sneakiest person on earth ! but thankfully , it wasn't that bad , on the positive side (: thank God ? i guess and hope so , for giving us a chance .
on the other hand , some parts of the morning just makes me smile (: hahahah , cute wasn't it ?

church today was like kinda . . . zzzxx . there was literally no one present . sigh why is it always like that! but anyways went to find adrina darling after service . hahahahaha jing-a-lingling ! okay i feel so bad now , i better stop before karma gets back at me . then she came over for awhile , and we pigged out on B&J from the tub. oh shiok (: sigh fatties . looks like that stupid 28day exercise and diet plan didnt really work out. i'm so undisciplined ! see la , thanks to someone who told me that for sure i wouldnt carry it out everyday ): positive encouragement from the start would help alot ,thank you. hahahah oh wells . the week ahead's gonna be interesting ! and craaazzyyy too (: and its the LAST week of the hols. i havent started studying . can someone kill me please . i'm so worried . i want to slap myself to wake up and hello , its like only about four months left , vanessa! what the hell is wrong with you?! okay i vow to become a full time studying student 24/7 once school starts . thats a nicer way to tell myself i shall be a nerd . HAHA okay whatever .

Love is when you give someone the power to hurt you , but trust them not to .

2007-06-16T20:53:00.000+08:00

so many things have been happening in just a matter of a night ! thursday night , oh wowwow . adrina came to stay over after dance , yes i went for it (: and learnt some new songs too. sigh i miss going there so much . after that it was like woah, as if it were a dream . but it happened . and it was crazy , as usual . HAHA . darlings sha and adrina came over today. and oh man , sadistic! haha oh welllls . we had fun today , and more to come! (:
glad everythings fine now, i owe you one darl .

love LOVE <3

2007-06-13T14:35:00.000+08:00

Last night was the bombzxs ! hahah crazy crazy us and everything went so smoothly (: had loads of fun but still without you there , it made such a difference. i'm sorry i'm always telling you last minute but you were always on my mind and i've been missing you so much. you mean more to me now than ever .

oh and yesterday morning i had the ultimate shock of my life! suddenly woke up at like around 6plus to see my maid and that girl standing in front of me beside my bed! like wth is she doing in my house AGAIN? was so freakin pissed because i've been missing out on my sleep for the past few nights, and here she is disrupting my sleep again. but after hearing her story on her stepdad trying to kill her and she jumping down three storeys to escape i let her stay . she was crying and begging my maid to let her in somemore, what can i do. went to school in the morning and mom got a shock to see her . came home and called adrina and she came over. gosh we were so evil to keep on trying to think of ways to get her out of the house . HAHA (: we finally did it after mom gave her a long lecture cos we found out her story was fake! then the both of us pigged out on swensons and ben and jerrys before heading down to cine to some pool place or something to meet adrina's (: and his friends. then went back home again together and discussed more about plans for the tonight !

Like the little school mate in the school yard
We'll play jacks and uno cards
I'll be your best friend and you'll be mine
Valentine
Yes you can hold my hand if you want to
Cause I wanna hold yours too
We'll be playmates and lovers and share our secret worlds
But its time for me to go home
Its getting late, dark outside
I need to be with myself instead of calamity
Peace, Serenity

2007-06-11T19:19:00.000+08:00

wednesday night was sexy love <3

me and mich got skirts from topshop at cheap cheap! after bio tuition on thursday night, we were delirious (:

went shopping at bugis with kim on friday. we both got our grey skinnies and dresses ! yayay then relieved old memories and took loads of retarded pics in the neoprint machines . hahah met dawn and ivana halfway , who were really late . then me and kim decided to head home .

ate a really sinful supper at swensons after bio tuition with mich , mom and sis . there goes our diet plan again , sigh . but we only live once anyway.

trained to bugis again with mich and lianne on saturday . tried to search for more dresses but nothing found. then met adrina at parkway after that and omg we had the fun-nest time of our life at harris ! absolute craziness HAHA. then met shawn and had dinner at fish and co ! we managed to convince her to buy us a cocktail too (:

fishy maria (:

walked around at parkway after dinner and the both of us started having laughing fits at diva. HAHAHAH the gigantic hairclips and the scarf ! then went to topshop and we bought the cute undies too! then adrina had to go and me and shawn headed to tiff and sha's house for the movie marathon. hahahha watched one movie and i already felt sleepy. but anyway talked with sha until almost 7 then we fell asleep.

hospitality thingy the next day for church. bleah smelly caps! hahah had a toilet session then celebrated tiffany's birthday after service and went back to sha's house with adrina. we had the ultimate sharing session there man! talked about , hahahah stuff! and made super exciting plans too (: suddenly when i think again , i realised how much our friendship has grown since two years ago , when it was mostly still about petty lies and gossips about each other. now everythings changed, we all have changed too , and we've still got each other (: went home and the craziest thing happened in the middle of the night! i barely know this girl and she stayed over at my house haha! but then again , its always good to help others . but i hardly slept again !

don't ask. HAHA (:

today is the start of my 28day exercise and diet plan thanks to cleo ! and this time , i promise myself that i MUST stick to it or else !

2007-06-05T22:48:00.000+08:00

hmm . i realised that i've been neglecting God lately. and i feel real bad about it . i guess , when things are all tangled up in knots and when i feel like a complete mess , He'll be the one who'll be there for me , giving me the assurance no one else can , mending a broken heart. not that i'm actually having one now la, but yeah . sigh i need Him . to feel the warmth of your embrace again , thats what i need most right now. i'm afraid of the future , because i think i might not be able to handle it well . i need you Lord , to help me . should anything happen. and i'm sorry for everything that i did the past few weeks that hurt you . sigh

2007-06-04T21:42:00.000+08:00

HAPPY BIRTHDAY MUM !

WEEKEND:

went shopping before bio tuition (: found out i have stupid makeup classes this wed, thurs and friday.

collected my black pinafore dress on saturday yay (:
then went to the movie marathon with sha .

church yesterday.
we were late .
went to satisfy our macs craving before that.
then it was cell at my house .

no school for me today . hah had chem tuition after that. what a bore.

BITCHES

pics credits to sha (:

2007-06-01T23:38:00.000+08:00

this song's been playing nonstop in my head the entire day! hahahah me and mich were blasting it and singing on the way home just now (:

Gwen Stefani - 4 In The Morning

Waking up to find another day
The moon got lost again last night
But now the sun has finally had its say
I guess I feel alright

But it hurts when I think
When I let it sink in
It's all over me
I'm lying here in the dark
I'm watching you sleep, it hurts a lot

& all I know is
You've got to give me everything
Nothing less cause
You know I give you all of me

I give you everything that I am
I'm handin' in everything that I've got
Cause I wanna have a really true love
Don't ever wanna have to go & give you up
Stay up till Four In The Morning & the tears are pouring
& I want to make it worth the fight
What have we been doing for all this time?
Baby if we're gonna do it, come on do it right

All I wanted was to know I'm safe
Don't want to lose the love I've found
Remember when you said that you would change
Don't let me down
It's not fair how you are
I can't be complete, can you give me more?

& all I know is
You got to give me everything
& nothing less cause
You know I give you all of me

I give you everything that I am
I'm handin' in everything that I've got
Cause I wanna have a really true love
Don't ever wanna have to go & give you up
Stay up till Four In The Morning & the tears are pouring
& I want to make it worth the fight
What have we been doing for all this time?
Baby if we're gonna do it, come on do it right

Oh please, you know what I need
Save all your love up for me
We can't escape the love
Give me everything that you have

FINALLY , THE PICTURES!

getting ready for sentosa day!

siloso (: beach

the soup spoon (:

lipgloss. compact and mascara .

toilet pics

and there's more too , hahah but the rest are private (: more to come !

2007-05-31T20:26:00.000+08:00

i havent been blogging! anyway ,

SUNDAY

it was the usual today. met up with sha instead. after service , went to the food fair at expo with cell . then headed down to raffles city with tiff and sha for awhile . finally changed my moolah for shopping! (: then it was home.

MONDAY

chinese O's ! it was okay i guess . haha oh wells , but during it i couldnt help thinking about the outing with mich and lianne later! after the paper, went home first. and we met up like 5plus, super late la! then trained down to fareast , but somehow they didnt have much to offer so went to vivo instead . had loads of fun there (: went to tangs and i bought this cute sleepwear with hearts all over it! hahaha love the dressing room! omg one of them had a pole in it! you know , for pole dancing! and with leopard prints and feather boas!

then went for dinner at secret recipe . waited damn long to get a table, for the food, for the bill, for everything ! a hungry person is an angry person. so that was how we felt. it was real late after that, so rushed around the place. bought accessories at diva. and finally got a new wallet from topshop! (: yayyay! haha walked around more but all the shops were closing already. we felt damn lazy so decided to take a cab home! and this was the most piss offing part! we decided to flag from the roadside but we couldnt get any cabs . so we crossed over to the other side of the road, still no cabs! and suddenly we saw 9 empty cabs passed by at the original place we were waiting! so we crossed back to the other side, and just as we did , someone from the other side of the road got a cab in like less than a minute! and so we decided to cross back again . we did this like about 6times , and were hell fedup . like all the cabs were playing some game with us i swear. it was completely ironic . in total we waited 45 wonderful minutes. until we decided we'd had enough and took matters in our own hands and just literally jumped into an empty cab at the traffic light ! hahah reached home at around 11plus, tired but happy. still havent finished shopping anyway!

TUESDAY

had chem tuition in the afternoon with lianne before heading down to parkway for dinner . after which went blading with shawn , tiffy and sha at east coast. it was such a good workout (: i wanna go again another night! then mom came and fetched us home .

me and linette waited till it was 12 to call nic to sing her a birthday song ! it still wasnt perfect though (: haha

hahahaa after that was impulsive. tuesday night (: wednesday morning . i need more .

WEDNESDAY

happy bithday nicole!

overslept in the morning so didnt go for chem . until nic called and asked to go town together with lin . so impulsive again , didnt have much time though . so went for a quick lunch at the hongkong cafe place at cine . before rushing like mad back down to school for chem tutorials . hahhaha tutorials was so funny! (: then after had dental at parkway , hahah bought 3 tops thanks to mom ! (:

TODAY

mich came over today . we studied one chapter of bio ! (: then made loads of study and shopping plans for the hols (: nothing much though . argh i'm bored . and kinda confused as well , though i already know what i want. hmm after talking to sha on tuesday night . thanks for all the advice babe! sigh yeah tmr i have such a long day at school ! emaths , amaths and chem lessons ! all until 3.30pm :( then there's another 3 hours of bio tuition at night . but i shall at least go buy something from diva then it'll prolly not be so bad (: hah

2007-05-26T22:32:00.000+08:00

I . CAN'T . WAIT . FOR . MONDAY .

its gonna be a shop-till-you-drop , live-the-life, luxurious-glamorous day ! made plans with mich and lianne just now . and gosh i cannot wait ! so so excited (: hahahahaah but its chinese o's too, but who cares, that shall be my motivation !

hahaha our wonderfully brilliant idea (: trust us to come up with something like that! CREATIVE PEOPLE (:

well , right now i shall just continue studying chinese. yes , studying chinese.

had our last chinese tuition with diana just now . haaaa hell funny. we made her repeat dont know how many times the explanation till she was frustratingly pointing vigourously at the paper! it was hilarious (: and her boring life stories too. oh wells , till then !

2007-05-26T00:01:00.000+08:00

over slept yesterday so didnt go to school . haha anyways there wasnt anything much . so nothing missed out (:

had chinese tuition early in the morning today . yay only a few more days before i'll be chinese free for the rest of my life . yeah then went to school to get report books . but met up with sylvie first cos we're supposed to see the PRINCIPAL . argh , well thanks to our results la. anyway meeting with principal was like weird and piss offing ! because she laughed at me when i told her my l1r5 and where i wanted to go after o's . she said with my l1r5 , do i even think i can make it to poly ? but still she actually laughed , in a half-hysterical and sarcastic manner ! and she also said quite a few unpleasant thingys to sylvie too . and then when we got up to leave , she screamed 'NEXT!' to ask for the next person who was supposed to go in and see her . like as if she 's some huge celebrity calling out for her fans to come on in . in other words , she totally did not behave like a principal .

then waited real long for mom to come and went upstairs for the meeting with lopez . surprisingly , she was really really nice today . like motivated me and stuff . argh but then , she said that i've become very chatty in class and what not and she even said she's gonna separate me and sylvie soon ! humph nooooo ! but thats not true , its only during her lessons that we talk the most ! haha (: anyway i'm not the last in class (: haha finally made a little improvement there !

anyways i'm bored shit . today there's late night shopping in town! and i'm not there ): there wasnt bio tuition tonight . and i could have GONE shopping instead if mom didnt know about the cancelled tuiton ! argh . and the gss starts today! omg ! nevermind i'm going shopping after chinese o's on monday! cant wait (: yay that can be my motivation !

anyway i'm sick and tired . messing with our minds . saying one thing and meaning the other . i'm not a risk taker . i need assurance . flings are all about risks , not relationships . if you cant give me that , then well . . . is there any point ?

2007-05-21T23:32:00.000+08:00

yesterday was love . met sylvie again on the way to church and we camwhored out in the open . hahahah we realised it was kinda embarrassing after awhile , but who cares ! hhaha i still love her! (: then went for service with adrina . after service was hell fun . we were laughing and laughing non stop about absolutely retarded things , like the orange specs 'eyebrows' and uncle bobby ! HAHAHAHHAH (: yeah it was just pure laughter and fun , until i realised i left my phone in the toilet and couldnt find it ! but thank God some hot guy , accordding to her (: hahah found it and returned my dear phone !

2007-05-21T23:19:00.000+08:00

i really want things to turn out well. i don't want us to lose each other again . just when my feelings for you are starting to grow more and more again, things like these has to happen . i'm not blaming you, its not your fault. but its painful . i want this second chance to turn out well . maybe it'll strengthen us. but i really dont know . but all i really hope for is that it will not end like a thread left hanging and that we'll last , of course .

if i didn't love you , my tears wouldn't be falling tonight .

2007-05-19T21:47:00.000+08:00

Last Night - girls night out

came home after bio tuition and chatted with Sha. we decided to catch a late night movie (: so off we went to cine to catch the 2.05am blades of glory show . haha it was the funniest gayest shit on earth ! laughed till our heads dropped off . which was great beacause it took my mind off certain things . sigh. but anyways after the show we just strolled down the empty town till we decided to get home . it was love (:

2007-05-19T14:04:00.000+08:00

Flames to dust
Lovers to friends
Why do all good things come to an end?

I hoped I wouldn't have to ask myself that question again.
But here I am , wondering why am I putting myself through all this disappointment.

2007-05-18T23:32:00.000+08:00

left me hanging from time and time again

i've sworn off giving

i'm tired of everything

the hardest part is letting go

2007-05-17T18:14:00.000+08:00

i'm not at school today too (: okay but this time i really had that weird stomach ache thing in the morning . woke up like super late and spent the whole day not doing any productive stuff . like studying and exercising . oh wells everyone needs to relax anyway , just that i've already been relaxing alot . and tmr we're gonna get back all our exam papers . i found out that i failed chem , and probably more too. and nic just reminded me about the promise i made before midyears . sigh . maybe overall i'll do well , but its unpredictable . sigh how how how . i'm clueless now ):

2007-05-16T13:37:00.000+08:00

i'm not at school today (: because because well i just didnt feel like it . after yesterday's stupid haircut and all . feel so shit . yeah so yesterday went to centrepoint with mom to do our hair . i'm so freaking pissed with that stupid hairstylist . like how many million times i had to tell him not to cut my fringe so short , but yet he still did ! WTF now i look like an idiot thanks to him . now i have to pin my fringe up thanks to him ! i hate this . f*** my hair is horrible now . but luckily the rest of the hair on my head is fine . i'm never letting that guy touch my hair again , and both times he did my hair , he still disappointed me . i'm learning my lesson this time . i'm never going back there . argh always cutting hair in his own way . and many other freakin things in my life too . wthhhhhhh fcuking pissed off .

anyway after my horrible haircut , met sylvie and we went off shopping . luckily i met her not anyone else , she made me feel better (: walked to taka and we got sa's present then walked around and looked at clothes . and we felt so tempted by pepper lunch that we went to eat there , promising ourselves that no dinner tonight for us (: haha then went back to meet mom while sylvie continued shopping . sigh i'm so jealous ): she got to spent 200+bucks on clothes ! but its okay cos i'm going shopping very soon ! (:

i need retail therapy to help me get over my hair and pass time while it grows back .

well actually we took loads of pics . but since i've pinned up my fringe , there's no way i'm gonna post it here .

2007-05-14T22:31:00.000+08:00

yayyay tmr's a marking day (: no school (: gonna cut hair and get sa's present with sylvie. anyways today at school! sighhhh now everyone knows . okay maybe not everyone , but more people than i would expect to know , know it . oh wells . i feel really bad about it . and i'm really really sorry for letting you guys down . but i really appreciate it that you all care so much! i really didnt expect it (: but even though you all are quite disappointed in me and stuff , and like you guys said breaking five hearts is worse than breaking one , i'm so sorryyyyy . and i love you guys tons and loads okay! thankyou for still planning to be there for me if things do end badly . but of course hopefully not ! because this time my instincts tell me something else , and i trust it . so yeahh , if not i wouldnt rush into anything too . yeah so again , i love you guys !

sometimes i wish you would stop piling your burdens on me. you have no idea how stressed it makes me feel .

since i already took this step again . i hope i won't have to look back and regret . i'm thinking of new experiences awaiting us. okay wait , that sounds wrong! oh but yeahhh , thats not what i mean la ! hahah something else , something sweet , something fresh , something like a fantasy dreamworld (:

ohohoh yeahh ! me and michelle worked out at her gym today after chinese tuition . yay finally after like dont know how many thousand weeks and hundreds of macdonald's meals and chocolates . hahha . i'm so motivated to keep fit now , but i still need more motivation . so somebody motivate me please!

2007-05-13T23:49:00.000+08:00

today.today(: haha things were really so sweeeet and cuuute in the morning (: and then on the way to expo bumped into bestest buddy sylvie! haha we were so excited to see each other and we've finally got a pic together too (: bumped into adrina on the way too. sigh babe i've got loads of new stuff to tell you! then met sha and we both wore dresses today . similar outfits again (: ever since eons ago (: nothing much luh . after service's also like the same old thing. no excitement nowadays . then no june camp too ): so that means no midnight walks or sneaking out ): sighhh boring . nothing already la . today's just one of the many special days , hopefully which will be more to come .

2007-05-12T20:09:00.000+08:00

HAPPY BIRTHDAY LINETTE (:

this whole week has been full of stressful sleepless nights , studying like mad, headaches and being so extremely tired . but anyway its finally over ! and now its time to get back into shape after all the study-eat food , and really taking care of myself . i cant not do that cos not doing all these things just make me feel and look like crap . haha so yeahhh thursday was the so called end of the last paper already . so me and nic headed off to plaza sing to get linette's present ! that girl ah , presents always so expensive . haha but its okay its sweet sixteen and our last year together anyway . went home and i slept 4 wonderful hours (:

FRIDAY
yay went to school laaate for the listening compre which was seriously like nothing at all , then cabbed home with mich and lianne to change and all before meeting each other again . went to raffles city and ate at my favourite place the soup spoon! and we ate FRIED MARS BARS (: hahah its the yummiest thing on earth but super duper fattening! ): but still we loved it. walked around and stuff and then headed off to marina . bumped into quite alot of people too . at marina went to all our favourite shops , saw many nice clothes and everything but i didnt get to buy anything ): haha not yet ! we were so super tired that we went to macs and sat down and ate . sigh what a fatty day . its time to kickstart the exercise and diet plan we've been always talking about but never getting about it for ages !

haha as usual , we were late for bio tuition . yeah i know , i still have bio tuition ! argh . so we took a super crowded bus there from suntec and went for the sec3 class only . haha oops . never felt so freakin tired and sleepy ever . sigh there wasnt any nice sexy thang show to watch today though . then after that still have to take a bus all the way home . TIRED okay! haha reached home and planned about today with nicole and linette . then me and nic decided to give lin a surprise and call her at 12 and sing a birthday song for her! but things seriously didnt go on as planned! cos we couldnt hear anything on lin's side , so the both of us were like quite confused and we were like huh? but after that we managed to call her and sing it in the end . and turns out everything me and nic said was all recorded on voice mail and lin could hear everyth . omg hahahah so embarrassing! but yeah anyway after that had a damn long convo with someone , the longest ever (:

TODAY
haha our initial plan to have a picnic at esplanade rooftop garden on lin's birthday was cancelled . cos we felt it was too crazy and gonna be super hot too so went to village to eat instead . wanted to eat the peranakan buffet at hotel phoenix , which looked really good , but most of it were spicy so we didnt in the end . actually nothing really special about village food , just that it has a such a pretty ambience. took lots of pics but they're not with me now . but go check out our joint blog ! yeah so after our nice lunch , we went to the lime flea market !! its so nice and you can get super steals there too ! so i bought this babydoll kinda dress for like only 5bucks ! haha yeah and its like brandnew too (: so many nice things . i'm really gonna come again the next time ! then nic left early so me and lin just headed to cine and walked around . fell in love with all the accessories at diva ! and went to newurbanmale . lin has decided to try and get th purple one again ! hope she cans , so nic quickly go get your green one too ! then we'll all have the same bag like we were planning too last time (:
then went back to heeren and walked around somemore and waited for the rain to stop before heading home . sigh it'll most likely be the last birthday we'll be spending for with linette , won't it ? and gosh its been like two years already . so fast ehh and it feels like just yesterday . SIGH . but well at least i'm finally enjoying and relaxing now (:

mother's day tomorrow!

2007-05-07T14:28:00.000+08:00

the things that you do ;

2007-05-03T17:44:00.000+08:00

went to catch spiderman 3 with nicole and theresse just now (: it was the bombzxz man! i loved it (: haha and we think james franco has a really nice smile (: then we went window shopping . sigh i feel so depressed now because we saw so many really nice clothes , but i cant get it . yet . hahaha so from now onwards i'm gonna start starving for the gss in 2 weeks time . yay can't wait ! till then , its the horrible emaths paper tmr ):

2007-05-02T18:47:00.000+08:00

yay 4 papers down and i still dont know how many more to go , but i know its alot . studied socialstudies with mich and lianne over at her place for 4hours . eee i hate studying . but at least it was productive (: and we couldnt make up our mind to order kfc or canadian pizza . the people on the line must be pissed with us . and after everything we were braindead and went abit mad HAHA . and i still have more chapters to go ):

2007-05-01T18:17:00.000+08:00

i feel like crap now . seriously. i dont know how to say exactly how i really feel but the best way to describe it is i feel like everythings in such a mess.

2007-05-01T16:53:00.000+08:00

last night. was the first time i ever talked to you for that long . the first time we ever had a socalled 'heart to heart' talk. where we openly shared how we really feel deep down inside. funny how its the first time we talked like that , since we've been together before . but when i was with you, i didnt feel totally loved and secure. thats not how a relationship's supposed to be , but its okay i know you're sorry. i want to trust you , but i dare not . i'm not willing to get hurt again .maybe one day you would just stop loving me and do it again once more. i dont know.

2007-04-30T23:57:00.000+08:00

oh great , it hurts now .

2007-04-30T19:11:00.000+08:00

maybe i'm not over it yet . if i am , why am i still feeling this way . why do i still care . one moment i'm so whatever about it , another i'm not . its confusing , its like my emotions are taking me over . i couldnt really concentrate in today's exam , i keep stopping to think about everything that has happened . its hard , now then i care about how i really feel . i feel like my heart's a tornado , with my emotions flying all over the place .

2007-04-29T18:33:00.000+08:00

i'm so glad i finally did it today . a relationship like this isn't worth carrying on . even if you were not cheating , i think i would still do the same . you tell me to trust you and so i did . but still its so hard bcos you just dont know how to treat a girl . you dont know how to make her feel loved , feel secure , feel like she means the world to you . just like a leopard that never changes its spots , so doesnt a cheat and a flirt . i may be disappointed now , even a little hurt . but i'll get over it . i cant tolerate the thought of sharing the person you love with someone else , esp when its true . i guess you probably don't treasure relationships since its not the first time . but i give up already . i am upset with you but i don't hate you , neither do i love you anymore . its not that i don't want to , but i just can't . maybe after all , you don't really feel the same way about me , maybe it was just an infatuation but then again , i don't want to carry any false hopes already .

seriously man i really pity the other her . i can tell that she trusts and loves you with all her heart and yet you still did that. i have no idea why i'm symphatising with her and not myself . but please get this clear , we're both girls and our hearts are vulnerable . i hope you never ever do this to any girl in future , we dont deserve this kinda shit .

Katherine Mcphee-Over It

I'm over your lies
And I'm over your games
I'm over you asking me
When you know
I'm not OK

You call me at night
And I pick up the phone
And though you be tellin' me
I know
You're not alone

Oh
And that's why
Your eyes
I'm over it
Your smile
I'm over it
Realized
I'm over it
I'm over it
I'm over

Wanting you
To be wanting me
No that ain't no way to be
How I feel
Read my lips
Because I'm so over
I'm so
Moving on
And it's my time
You never were a friend of mine
Hurt at first
A little bit
And now I'm so over
I'm so over it

I'm over your hands
And I'm over your mouth
Tryin' to drag me down
And fill me with self doubt

Oh
And that's why
Your world
I'm over it
So sure
I'm over it
I'm not your girl
I'm over it
I'm over it
I'm over

Don't call
Don't come by
Ain't no use
Don't ask me why
You'll never change
There'll be no more
Cryin' in the rain

I'm so over it
Wanting you
To be wanting me
No that ain't no way to be
How I feel
Read my lips
Because I'm so over
I'm so
Moving on
And it's my time
You never were a friend of mine
Hurt at first
A little bit
And now I'm so over
So over it

for the first time since long ago , i truly felt happy just worshipping God in church today . i felt his assurance and i'm so glad that He'll be here for me . my relationship with God is the most important in my life right now .

and i really thank God too for all my wonderful friends who've been there for me all the way and supporting me , asking me such thought-provoking questions and waking me up from that world of confusion. and girlfriends are definitely more important than one guy . so yeah i love all of you loads! (:

2007-04-27T16:12:00.000+08:00

yay finally the week's over . and certain things were found out during it . gosh it was so embarrassing , but then again , what can i do . its like pouring cats and dogs now . that sucks , especially if its your birthday today . omg thunders and lightnings are scary .

i cant believe exams are next week . i feel like its the starting of hoildays .

and i've got bio tuition later . argh boring . i can't wait for sunday to come , cos finally yeah. but i dread monday .

happy birthday , love.

2007-04-24T20:25:00.000+08:00

HAPPY BIRTHDAY MICHELLE (:

sweet sixteens shall always be crazy . well today could've been more , but all thanks to the stupid rain , sigh . but its okay we still had fun ! took loads of pics the whole time haha . it was as if that was our main objective , which isn't by the way . such nostalgia about that place , it was just last year we went there and it feels like it wasnt too long ago . fact is , it really has been almost a YEAR ! sigh how time just flies .

chinese tuition was zzzzz . so tiring man . we all fell asleep and in the end was late for it . oh wells i'm really tired and i cant believe exams are next week . its all too fast .

i really miss people now .

didnt go to school yesterday too . luckily had an mc though .

i need to get down to studying . SERIOUSLY ):

2007-04-22T17:40:00.000+08:00

just came back from church . so many things happened this weekend . it must be god's will even though now i feel damn down yet happy that i finally realised many things . had a talk with shawnie after service . and yeah actually i kinda feel overwhelmed by everything . i feel lost even though i know that there's hope . caught in the middle on what i should do . feel afraid about th obstacles that are going to come my way , i feel scared that i cant handle it . even though i know god will help me through . so many issues like my about me growing spiritually and all . but today shawn told me that god gave me the gift of prophecy? or that i'm a prophetess . something like that . my conscience , the holy spirit , that voice inside of me thats extremely strong . i used to think everyone had it , maybe everyone does . just that she told me that mine was stronger . she also made me realise that its important to listen to this gift , or else one day it'll just be gone . like that . and i dont want that to happen too . i feel so thankful that i've finally realised about this gift . but still , i have to learn not to ignore it . we also talked about my baptism name . and i found out that meixiu is also getting baptised next month as well ! omg how cool is that (:

anyway yeah before service met up with chrislyn and meixiu to catch up . went to bugis for a socalled lunch . we were all so late . but yeah talked about many things and i miss dance so much ! found out that some weeks they had to take away the floorers cos there were not enough people ! sigh ): oh well but i'm so glad that i have friends like them (:

yesterday was the socalled worst day of my life . even though i did have loads of fun . was supposed to go for congre meeting at tc . but didnt in the end so met up with adrina and we went to marine parade . we were like in 7-11 for so long choosing magazines to bring up to daniel hall to read . omg it was so damn funny ! then sha came and the three of us we hid in the pantry with food and all . then went over to parkway and we printed our photos at some sony ericsson printer there . haha the things we do when we're together (: love them to bits and pieces !
anyway mom found out . again . wth now she want to 'control me and be very strict with me' this sucks man . and now i have to earn back her trust ALL OVER AGAIN ! but yesterday night when we talked it did make me realise that actually it is wrong . oh well . anyway once again i'm so thankful for my friends , especially the ones who've been there for me whenever i need them .

and that girl is so dumb man . she's seriously such a joke . she says it as if she's like so close to him . what.a.showoff. everything seems so similar again . people telling me things that just makes me feel as if it is true .

FRIDAY

went out for supper after bio tuition with cell group! shawnie came to pick me up at parkway and we headed off to siglap starbucks . HAHHAA the memories of that place . and at the exact same table too . then after rachel came to join us . anyway all of us had fun talking loads . but something happened . i should seriously do something about it . if not what kind of impressions am i giving to others ? anyway the sec3 bio class was SUCH a show ! omg i could laugh my head off . that faith girl totally revealed her love for that guy today ! omg okay cos when mr lam was talking about cloning humans , that girl was like 'so can i clone _____ so that i can keep one at home?' she was referring to that guy . omg everyone was like wth HAHAAHHA . hilarious , and she said many many other things as well . omg she's so not paiseh at all la ! omg man its like the funniest thing EVER !

2007-04-19T17:33:00.000+08:00

retail therapy is really effective (: went shopping with mom yesterday . HAHAHA i'm super happy cos bought lots of stuff . finally crossed out some items on my shopping list already ! got mostly beauty products from clinique , its addictive . cos you just see so many nice nice products to pamper yourself that you just want more and more . hahaaaa yeah school is STRESSFUL now . sigh and its only 12 days to midyears ! what i am still doing now ?! anyway me and sylvie are targeting for <20 color="#000000">but now we kinda changed it . cos i dont think i can . but dont worry dear partner , WE WILL MAKE IT !

anyways i'm going out soon (: going to celebrate michelle's birthday with our chinese tutor at Margarita's ! yay mexican food here we come HAHA lovelove it ! oh wells but at least i finally told nic and lin , or else i'll be suffering from a guilty conscience . andand today me and lianne's plan didnt work ! HAHA it was really funny though , so sneaky and all ! yay tmr will be going supper with cellgroup after bio tuition . cant wait to meet the babes again ! oh and saturday will be a dinner outing with chrislyn and meixiu , gosh i miss them tons and loads . haha that i cant wait too (:

___________________________________________________________________

just came back from the totally sumptuos dinner ! it was like the best . and we ate so much i felt that my stomach was gonna burst . anyway it was over 100bucks and laoshi paid ! but then we were saying that with that kind of money we spent we could have just gone to some nice nice hotel and eat the buffet ! omg i wish then can dress up and all too ! sigh but anyway after dinner me and mich suddenly had a crazy idea . so dangerous to say here . i never know who's reading this . but anyway it was crazy and so us ! (: and on the bus on the way to margaritas , bumped into church people ! what a coincedence ! but they were really nice though (:

2007-04-16T17:36:00.000+08:00

one month baby <3

just came back from a homework session with mich and lianne at her house . as there is now officially NO MORE tutorials and ccas FOREVER ! wow we ate so much ! all the junk so therefore i can conclude that studying makes you fat ! well at least for us . HAHA anyway my week so far was good (: we even skipped the last drama practice on friday . and then had bio tuition at parkway till 10pm . and as usual omg the sec3 class was such a show ! that girl again , which we found out that her name was FAITH called the indian guy a sexy thang again this time infront of everyone even mr lam ! and then he told her to shut up and she still retorted something like 'but its true !' HAHAHA omg . and and when we went to the office after class , the indian guy told the person working there that there was this crazy girl in the class and whether he could change her class , HAHA oh wells but she seems kinda poor thing but whatever la .

then on saturday had my 2.4km run in the morning ! me and mich woke up late and so we rushed like mad to bedok reservoir only to find out that it hasnt even STARTED yet ! and mich suddenly lost her phone so we called the cab and all and searched like mad but we still found nothing . oh gosh but then anyway this time i think 2.4 wasnt that bad ! cos we all listened to mp3s while running and i actually RAN 3/4 without feeling i was gonna drop dead and die ! haha must be all that dancing and running in the gym (: unlike the last few times . then then went home and suntanned by the pool . now i'm sunburnt ! and i dont know why but i'm feeling damn itchy cos of the stupid sunburns ! arghhhh well at least i'm a little tanner ! (: after that had chinese tuition with mich again . which after the both of us cabbed down to bedok reservoir to try our luck to search for her phone but still couldnt find anything . well , look on the bright side mich you'll be getting a nice new phone (:

oh and yesterday was so FUN ! (: met up with sha and adrina before service and we went to coffee bean to hangout and gossip . we stayed there until it was like 2plus as we didnt realise the time therefore we were wayyy late for service ! HAHA then we just sat at hall9 doing guilty things instead of listening . omg i felt so bad after that . but anyhows we had fun . after cell it was sha's house and then after that adrina came over to mine . sigh what a day it was yesterday . love the girls loads we shall continue again next week ! (:

yellow shoes !

2007-04-10T19:01:00.000+08:00

HAHAHAHA what a day it was yesterday. didn’t go to school (: okay la actually i just ponned school today . woke at 10plus when kim called . we decided to get our polyclinic mcs and then head to town . hah omg i feel so baaadd ! cos this is like TRUANCY ! omg i think i shant elaborate anymore . just that at the stupid polyclinic we had to wait over 2 HOURS and we were extremely extremely pissed too ! and what a wonderful 16 bucks i had to pay for my mc and medicine ! the government is SO unfair to people like me , after all i was born in singapore ! argh humph . it was so piss-offing i tell you ): ANYWAY we didn’t look the least sick when we both rushed out of the clinic HAHA and we were NOT the only school skippers there okay ! and and kim got a HOT doctor who was super nice ! LUCKY HER ! then we went down to town and walked around searching for nice clothes (: went to daniel yam and tried on really pretty dresses that we fell in love with ! and went to the tangs dressing room which was so pretty that even the saleswoman was camwhoring inside HAHA . well that’s kinda all no more details given HAH .

2007-04-08T20:52:00.000+08:00

HELLO WORLD !
so much has happened this week ! anyway i just got a Siamese kitten omg its so cute (: and its called SUGAR ! and then like lots of things happened in school but i cant really remember . but ANYWAYS Thursday was FUNNN ! after school ((: we went to the USUAL haah and did the USUAL too ! okay whateverrr that was so random but i enjoyed myself as always when we’re together (:

GOOD FRIDAY !
went to TC early in the morning for tribe stuff at the auditorium then had lunch at the roland restaurant . it was so crowded man but that’s cool cos that means more people to look at haha ! then cos i told kim about eyecandy and then both sherrie and her so excited to come and see that they really came all the way down to marine parade , with bird along too ! then so kim and sherrie were in DRESSES i think a lot of people must be staring but its so cool that means we’re the attention (: haha okay nevermind ! then we showed them the eyecandies and they went super high too (: IT WAS SOOO HILARIOUS ! but we had a great time , didn’t we ! then tiff and i got changed into dresses at church toilet and headed off to suntec to catch freedom writers . its on racism and it was surprisingly good too (: then after that the 3 of them left so me and tiffy headed off to fareast to collect her shoes . halfway through suntec we saw this couple with really really weird hairstyles , as in the both SHAVED the bottom parts of their had and the upper half they tied it into a PONYTAIL ! both of them ! i will NEVER EVER EVER do that ! or ever wear COUPLE TEES ! HAHA then nothing much just saw loads of nice clothes , shoes , bags at far east ! then went home for dinner .

SATURDAY
pamper me day ! met lianne after lunch and we headed off to citylink to get our bangs ! then halfway through saw (: HAHA (: walked around first though to check out other hair salons but couldn’t find any suitable ones so went to get our eyebrows done at BROWHAUS ! we did threading , it was quite good and felt quite high class too haha . then went back to citylink and met mich halfway through . and with a twist of fate , ran into (: AGAIN ! hahah yayyy (: then me and lianne got bangs while mich just trimmed her fringe too . i don’t know how to describe how i look with it , BUT BUT i seriously hope i look nice and not stupid looking ! yeah but i’m so not used to it ): hopefully when it seasons out it’ll be nicer ! yeah then took a lot of before and after pics too . then went to marina for a little while and went to starbucks at suntec and me and lianne got our waterbottles ! we found a superr nice design ! its PINK and has hearts all over it (:and it also comes with a free drink ! coolness man (: mich also wanted to get it but she already bought the other design , but hopefully the 3 of us will have the same bottles ! yeah then mich’s dad fetched us halfway home and after went for dinner cos dad ‘s back . ate peranakan food at frankel there . love it ! and (: called halfway haha . so cute man ! anyways yeah planned to meet adrina tmr morning . she cut her hair too today so tmr when we meet we’ll both have new hairstyles (: going to clarke quay to camwhore and do girl stuff cant waittt !

SUNDAY

today was fun fun fun but also a super lazy day . met adrina in the morning and we decided to head to cityhall instead cos we were laaate and rushing . walked to raffles city basement , HAH our place (: and talked loads and walk loads before buying some food . then headed to STARBUCKS and ordered the super nice drink that i drank yesterday too and the potato salad , which turned out quite gross ! ): haha and as usual we made a total mess out of the table AGAIN , just like we did at the soup spoon . gosh that was so us , then we quickly zaoed before anyone saw us ! HAHA then went to ROXY and tried on clothes (: camwhored loads and the salesperson knocked on our dressing room , which became completely embarrassing when we finally came out after 65492 minutes ! and and they were giving us those looks , and we quickly ran out of the shop , laughing our heads off . rushed down to expo and we were wayyy late ! but it was okay . there wasnt any cell after service so went to sha's house to hang out and gossip . its been ages since we did that ! but anyway we ended up falling asleep for awhile and i headed home . no mood for SCHOOL tmr bleahhhhxzxz !

so confused on what i should do

everything seems to surface and its just so you

before i even give my trust

take hold of my hand

assuring me that i'm the only one

i still wanna love you

2007-04-01T20:58:00.000+08:00

HAPPY APRIL FOOLS DAY !

went to catch the number 23 this morning before church and lunched at kennyrogers (: thanks dear for today , and NO i wont take advantage of you ! then received a text from kim telling me that i should stop being a bitch , which gave me a shock of my life ! but thanks to (: who's so much smarter and so not gullible like me , reminded me that today was april fools then i finally got it ! HAHA then headed off to expo before something embarrassing happened . ohh then it was the usual church and cell group stuff , then me and tiff trained to cityhall and wisma to walk around and meet her parents for dinner . ate the nice nice curry naan there too (: weelll , thats kinda all but sundays should be more interesting ! with the exception of this morning la . sigh now i'm like thinking of all the clothes we saw at FOREVER 21 ! and i think when i say interesting i mean going shopping ! ohno i think i better start saving up to splurge soon when the whole singapore's on sale in june (: i just cant stop thinking about it .

2007-03-31T23:51:00.000+08:00

I WENT NIGHT SWIMMING JUST NOW ((:

mich came over after dinner and we finally exercised! but it was so cold that we took darn long to get inside the pool until we finally decided that its now or never so we counted to 10 and just JUMPED inside the pool ! but yay we really swam alot and did crunches in the pool . and so we've came up with an exercise plan again to swim at least 2 times a week and go to the sauna and uzapping too (: so that we can have nice toned bodies !

anyway i ate ikea meatballs for dinner (: and made this really nice but totally sinful oreo dessert thingy !

tomorrow's coming !

2007-03-31T19:09:00.000+08:00

just came back from shopping with michelle . that girl got lost and ended up in little india , AGAIN ! haha but anyway we went shopping at bugis . went to search for the bag that we saw last week and came across this pushcart that sells those bags too in more varieties than the shop upstairs . as usual we took damn long to decided which bag we wanted but in the end we bought it ! yay so happy (: i totally love that feeling when you've just bought something ! so we've decided to buy one new item every week (: hahh well nothing much today , just do usual window shopping around . and also the bag's big enough to use for school too and we've finally purchased something that is on our shopping list !

us with our brand new bags !

FRIDAY

friday was fun cos during amaths me , linette, kim , shush, sherrie had this girltalk session about the guys and stuff ! it was so fun (: and we took turns to share about the you know , guystuffs ! haha and we've planned to make everyone do a little dare when we go out . haha yay yay i cant wait !

then the rest of the day was the usual cca then 3 hours of wonderful bio tuition ): and omg the sec3 class is hilarious ! cos there's this nerdy girl , not to be mean but if you see her you'd agree , who's really annoying cos she answers all the questions before mr lam can even finish saying the questions . like she's trying to be some smart aleck to impress this indian guy who's the equivelant of prata in our class , that she so obviously likes ! cos she makes it so obvious to EVERYONE in the class by calling him a 'sexy thing' infront of everyone ! omg its just way way funny HAHAHA . and that indian guy is also obviously disgusted by her and it was such a show for everyone to watch ! i feel so embarrassed for her , like she of all people saying that ! but HAHA she called him a 'sexy thing' last week too . she was like 'byee sexy thang!' and gave that flirtatious smile to him ! and he just ignored her ! OMG HAHA its so weird !

THURSDAY

after school went to paya lebar with tiff and kim . wanted to go to this shop , its actually singapore's FOREVER21 ! haha but in the end i didnt cos met up with (: and we went someplace else . yeahh happy me (:

2007-03-28T17:18:00.000+08:00

went lunching at katong with mich and lianne just now . we forgot where was 5star and some boon whatever chicken rice shop so we ate somewhere else . then we ate icecream ! those guilty pleasures (: but it was like gelato so its not that bad . katong has nice food so therefore wednesday shall be our fatfat day where we eat nice food (: HAHA anyways pictures !

OHOH AND I ADDED NEW PICS FOR MY PREVIOUS POSTS ALREADY !

2007-03-25T18:46:00.000+08:00

THURSDAY had chinese orals after school but who cares bout that cos its over . today was especially memorable (: because of (: yeah i love you (:

FRIDAY WAS SUCH A LONG DAY ! after drama had a 3hour bio tuition ): we were practically dead after it !

SATURDAY met michelle and we went to bugis . there we bumped into nicole and glenda like 3 times ! haha then went to this shop and i finally saw the bag i want . the size is exactly what i want and can use it for school too (: so we're coming back again to get it next week . we were supposed to go back home earlier to exercise before dinner BUT we ended up staying longer and shopped . thats just so us ! so our exercise plan starts officially on monday .
went to one fullerton to have such a sumptuous dinner with my family cos dad's back . we went to this lebanese restaurant . it was so cool ! like arabian nights kinda ambience . and lebanese food is good (: then halfway through dinner there was this performance ! there was this man playing the drums dressed in some arabic costume and a belly dancer . and she was like dancing around the tables with all the men ogling at her , well maybe for the exception of my dad . HAHA but she had a damn good body and i was so jealous ! but i wanna try learning belly dancing , it'll be fun and i can achieve my perfect figure ((:

she's on the table!
trying to teach mom to play the drums HAH

TODAY
what a wonderful time i had this morning ! i'm so happy (: thanks darling ! went to church after that and adrina finally came after all those weeks and we had fun talking about stuff and all ! tuition was cancelled so yay then i rushed off to meet nicole and linette and tampines to catch music and lyrics (: its so sweet and way back into love is stuck in my head . two movies in a day ! blood and chocolate and this ! so now i'm home with a pile of homework for me to do . weekends are the best but they end super fast . sigh but at least this weekend was definitely one of the nicest i had (:

2007-03-21T14:04:00.000+08:00

i didnt go to school today (: cos i'm sick HAHA no history test and chinese orals for me today ! anyway i've kinda noticed something in school over the past few days . and yesterday i had a good talk with my dear partner bout it ! and we're both quite alike about it , as in the situation . i mean we were talking about it and i realised that some people just are not aware of their surrounddings at all ! they dont spare a thought about other's feelings and only think of their own selfish selves . i'm not trying to complain or like whine the hell out about it , but its true , and i'm just putting it bluntly .

i've already like tolerated it for so long and yet people dont change . i've tried forgiving but yet the same thing happens again and again . i feel hurt that they dont even realise what they're doing , but then again its not really their fault that they dont know what they're doing to make others feel left out and unimportant . but maybe they're not making an effort to be aware of their surrounddings and people's feelings or maybe they just know and are plain insensitive . i dont even know what to do now and like how to handle the situation , i know i shouldnt bear grudges but everytime it happens again , i'm reminded by what happened the last time and the feeling comes up all over again . i need GOD to help me with this . argh its driving me nuts already and i cant stand it anymore !

i just dont understand why that at least i try my best to make others feel welcome and not leave them out but yet others dont do the same , its so unfair . maybe God's trying to tell me something or let me learn something from this but still , its just so difficult ): oh wells at least i feel sorta better after pouring everything out .

DANCERS (: on G12 sunday

2007-03-18T19:13:00.000+08:00

PICTURES TAKEN OVER THE LAST FEW DAYS (:

CHRISLYN . VAN (:

NYDC (:

BESTIES <3

DANCERS !

our last time dancing together .. until months later

high tea at the soup spoon (:

2007-03-17T12:15:00.000+08:00

i'm like at home now cos like i left halfway through g12 . and also cos SOMEONE didnt come and didnt even tell me ! but yeah besides i've got lots of stuff to do at home and its freakin cold inside there . omg okay so many things like happened ever since tuesday ! oh and in the end tuesday night was the fun-nest night of my life (: girls night out ! i cant wait to do it again ! oh and on thursday went to the dentist together with sha in the morning and after dinner with chrislyn . was supposed to watch stomp the yard but i didnt and then i was late again , so they left and i didnt get to meet ): oh wells anyway we went to suntec's NYDC and talked and caught up with each other . its so sad that we gotta stop dance after g12 ! but at least we still got other plans with each other (: then went for the conference together and met sha . the both of us had no seats at all so we just sat at like way back up the hall . but then we spent most of the time talking and stuff . anyhows its so fun now that the both of us have so much stuff to update each other on ! oh yeah cos like halfway through we went out to walk around for a while when we bumped into MDM SIM and her daughter ! OMG i think she was going for the metro sale but then its so shocking ! and somemore she was so nice to us ! HAHA and yes her daughter is half indian and looks quite like her !

she's about to extract her tooth !

oh yeah thursday night (: HAHA 16 march (:

FRIDAY . the three of us didnt go for drama in the morning in the end . it was expected anyway ! went for the conference in the afternoon . then left for bio tuition at parkway . during it , mr lam accidently saw the drawing of him in mich's book ! omg embarrassing man , HAHA but he just laughed (: then rushed down back to expo again .

'mr lam is a sweet little cute man'

anyway i'm dancing later ! love our costumes its like white with gold stripes . gonna meet meixiu and chrislyn soon to do our hair and all ! i cant wait (: we're gonna be very glittery and stuff . and its sorta the last time i'll be dancing until like MONTHS later . so gotta make the most out of it (:
and like the hols are ENDING already . its too fast this is so unfair . but at least, you know (:

2007-03-13T12:35:00.000+08:00

yay i just changed my blogskin . the old one was weird like it had some problem with the pic . anyways i'm not at school today ! HAHA . so much has happened over these few days (: things not supposed to be said HERE though . so yeah i've been thinkin about my decision . i'm still unsure . so i guess i'll just wait and see what happens , and let god decide . but then again , i really really want to ! in such a dilemma now . at least its coming , soon .

had my CHEM SPA yesterday . luckily this time it was so much easier . and i didnt really do a major screw up . though my jars and beakers almost toppled over . thank god it didnt man . i'm gonna be busy, busy this week . my march hols will be gone just like that ! oh wells at least i'll still be having fun (:

yay i just talked to mom . and she told me she bought things for me in hongkong/shenzhen . and i'll be getting new curtains for my room too ! they'll be sheer blue ! i wanna go back there and shop again haha . oh yeah , and i still wanna get that pink adidas watch . they dont have it anymore over there ):

2007-03-10T22:54:00.000+08:00

YAY went SHOPPING today with mich and lianne around town . went to search for THE clothes (: and i finally bought my black skinny jeans ! and like we shopped and all . i didnt spend much money though cos i couldnt find nice things to buy . ohh wells . anyway we followed mich to browhaus at paragon . i think its really good there . shall go next time to do my brows . the shops arent really having a sale ):
anyways . i have stupid school on monday and tuesday . and its a full day ! our school has seriously like nothing better to do ! they are so mean to us ): anyway went for dance on thursday . and met chrislyn to go together . and we were like talking about old times and shopping trips . so we've decided to go shopping together again this thurs before g12 (:

nothing much though . mom just told me she bought me an ADIDAS sneakers in hongkong ! OMG yay ! i can wear it for dancing at g12 (: anyways church tmr and all . i really needa go choose my clothes now or else i'll be late for tmr . much love world (:

2007-03-04T23:18:00.001+08:00

i danced for service today (: actually other than that , i cant really remember what happened already .

2007-03-03T19:50:00.000+08:00

AS I WAS SAYING , THURSDAY WAS LIKE A HALF DAY , BUT I WENT TO SCHOOL IN THE END .

as after i was going out with nicole and linette. the three of us (: finally after such a long time . went to catch dreamgirls at the cathay . and the cinema was practically EMPTY ! then we were saying we should've caught a thriller or someth instead , then we can scream like nobody's business at the scary parts HAHA . anyway after the movie we lunched at carls jr . i dont like the chairs there . cos the last time , the moment i got up from my seat , my chair totally fell backwards and crashed to the ground !it was so loud and i was so embarrassed ! but anyway on that day two other chairs fell too . it definitely MUST be carls jr , NOT us ! then went on to raffles city to search for a new wallet . saw one at accessorize but didnt know if i should get it . but now i think i should , cos i've fallen in love with it already (:

then went to ROXY . and saw the funniest thing on earth ! lin pointed out this pink bimbo handbag that had the words 'POXY' stiched on it ! OMG HAHAHAHA ! they didnt stitch the end of the 'R' ! i should have taken a pic of it ! HAHA its the retardedest thing . anyway couldnt find a nice wallet ): and its seriously overpriced !

OKAY OKAY , then went to citylink and bought this pretty striped blue top from surfer girl at a steal (: then went to NUM ((: to search for a new bag . saw quite a few nice ones and in the end nic and lin both got attracted to them too ! and we kept asking the poor guy to take down the bags and show them to us again and again . but then after a looong half an hour at the shop deciding on what colour we want , and planning on how the 3 of us are gonna save up for the bag . we finally decided and even took pics of it too ! i want the yellow-gold one , lin wants the purple and nic the lime green one . it cost like 149 bucks ! but who cares i still want it (: but then the roxy bag i like is much bigger and only 80bucks . so i really dont know . but anyhows num is still nicer ! after walking out i felt so happy as if i already bought the bag ! but yeah right . we're planning to come back on 1st april . one month from now ! then trained home together . and had super interesting convos that can ALWAYS be heard by other people on the train as usual !

got home and rushed for dance at BM . met meixiu and and waited for dance to start . i'm gonna serve tmr ! YAY FINALLY AFTER SUCH A LONG TIME ! but chrislyn and meixiu wont be serving with me . . oh wells there's still G12 ! and i havent practised the songs properly yet . so i'm gonna do it right after this (:

MINE (:

NICOLE'S (:

LINETTE'S

FRIDAY

school as usual . hate fridays ! first its school with PE , argh . then TUTORIALS after school then CCA after that . THEN BIO TUITION AFTER THAT ! but anyway today i was lucky . cos it was physics tutorials so i could go home first and at least wash up before drama . nothing much after school . wanted to escape from DRAMA but too bad the juniors saw us walking out and they dared to call us to come back ! humph . after bio tution it was the usual walking around parkway . tried to find a wallet from rusty . was so freakin tired when i got home .

TODAY

had chinese tuition today with michelle . and you know what ! my teacher gave me a brand new BOBBI BROWN lipgloss ! expensive ! but she keeps saying she doesnt need it and will give us her eye liners and shadows next time round . and its all brand new ! yay haha (: then after tuition went to TM to collect mich's stuff . and on the bus mich was like tellin me about the next time she sees a cute guy she'll poke me . cos we were still arguing about ytd after bio tuition at macs when she told me she saw , but i dont even rmb her saying it at all ! then there were like these two guys who were walking by the roadside . and one of them thought she was pointing to him , so he waved ! HAHAHAA and she waved back ! thats so her , and she told me she's been waving to random people she doesnt know . HAHA . well nothing much after home .

2007-02-28T17:00:00.000+08:00

tomorrows like a half day . yayness . still contemplating if i should go. but then , might be going out with nic and lin . anyways i made such an achievement . i gymed and ran 2km on monday (: HAHA i'm supposed to exercise later but its raining . i'm so in the mood for sleeping . SCHOOL was quite FUN i guess . alot of things happened . silly , crazy things . but i'm too lazy to type it all down here . anyway me and sylvie played this really retarded hitting game . HAHA it was hilarious ! and i dont know whats wrong with my brain . i'm forever having slow reactions . humph this is so unfair .
ANYWAY i think i really need to shop again . its distracting me i tell you . i cant concentrate during class or tuition cos i keep daydreaming about my shopping list ! so tmr i am gonna buy it , i dont care .

SHOPPING LIST !
that roxy/NUM bag
a new WALLET
SHORTS
skinny PANTS
CLOTHES, clothes and more clothes !

i think there's more but i cant remember . oh wells . i just realised this week everyone's mostly been talking bout guys . yeah , including me la . and its another crazy test week . with stupid tests every single day argh . but then , i cant wait for the weekend ! HAHAHAHA i think only i know why (:

2007-02-25T19:51:00.000+08:00

today (: first had sol in the morning . sha went with me today so after that we quickly rushed to take the bus to get ready for our choir duty (: it was like so cool . at first i was like having so much fun clapping and singing on stage then suddenly during the second song we had to jump alot then suddenly i had this feeling that i'm almost jumping at the edge of the platform where i'm standing . so i was like so scared and i kept thinking i was gonna fall , cos if i do it'll be infront of EVERYONE and cos i'm standing in the FIRST ROW with no one infront of me , i'll probably trip and fall to the ground . as i kept thinking i was gonna fall , i really did man ! omg it was so so embarrassing but at least i didnt fall FLAT on the ground . i just stumbled and tripped a bit . but that was pai say enough . but luckily nothing happened after that . though i kept having the feeling i was standing at the edge cos when you're jumping , you cant see where the platform ends . anyways i cant wait for the video to come up . its at fcbc's website ! and people told me they saw me appear on the screen quite a few times . but then my hair totally looked like a crazy woman cos of the french braids . so i really hope i dont look stupid cos after we got down , i went to the toilet and my hair looked like it had two fishtails sticking out from behind ! it was horrible ): anyhows . it think i would much prefer to dance instead of doing choir again cos of that standing on the edge phobia of mine . or maybe its just my new shoes .

oh well . after service it was nothing much . we did a great job for choir . and just stayed back to eat and all . yeah i really cant wait to dance again . i mean its like the feeling just makes me so happy to be serving God through dance (:

YESTERDAY
had chinese tuition with mich . but before that went to parkway's mphosis cos they were having a sale ! and i bought this pair of black sandles at such a steal ! but so sad most of the shoes were sold out . cos some of them were really pretty i'm telling you . then well , something happen an we were both mad at each other . so i went home in the end and gymed like crazy . then i realised that this shouldnt go on . and i really thank God for helping me through it . like he's really changed me ever since . so now everyth's cleared . and i'm so glad it is . after tuition , lianne came over to mich's as well . and the three of us exercise like never before . HAHA . then went up and blended our version of apple juice . it was such a healthy day for me so far . UNTIL I CAME HOME AND FOUND AN AWFULLY CHOCOLATE CAKE IN MY FRIDGE AND BEN AND JERRY'S ICECREAM . so i couldnt resist and ate it . wow all my efforts were WASTED ! argh . oh wells . i dont care i'm gonna exercise like mad from now onwards . cos i think i gained weight . HAHA so thats my saturday .

2007-02-23T17:39:00.000+08:00

my blog seriously needs updating ! okay so i shall start off now .
CHINESE NEW YEAR 2007

yay skipped schoool on friday to go off to malaysia . went to kl first , didnt do much on the first day , but went shopping at klcc on the second day ! suddenly met my hongkong chinldhood friend and his family . couldnt remember at first until mom told me . gosh , its been like 10 years i think ! anyways i just bought a pair of those pink brazillian flipflops and a few other unimportant stuff . i wasnt really happy cos all the shops closed way early and didnt get to buy much stuff. collected angpaos and headed off to malacca the next day . well , the good thing isthat the taoist alter at my grandma's house has finally been removed ! apparently the pastors came to do house clensing and everyth's much better now . my grandma even got baptised recently wow so on man ! however its kinda like weird cos i just go there and stone cos everyone else is like forever playing their dumb playstations and gameboys ! and it feels so awkward to talk to my other cousins again . its just weird la . i had so much fun with them when everyone was much younger AND without those retarded playstations and nitendos ! ohoh yeah , note to self : i will NEVER marry a guy that is obsessed with video games and develops an enormous round pot belly due to it . he can seriously use the time to work out or something rather than play those games ! oh well . went shopping the next day at the new mall and bought shorts and new cargo pants for dance . but then roxy wasnt opened ! so i couldnt get a new wallet ! anyways nothing much .i'm just happy i collected money to spend ((: HAHA

WEDNESDAY (21/2)
ponned school today too . cos was so tired after i came back and didnt feel like going to school . but then i went shopping ! HAHA cos mom had to pick dad up at suntec so i decided to follow her knowing that there's a NOVO there ! i wanted to get that pair of pumps so badly cos its sold out at parkway and the salesperson told me its sold out everywhere too ! humph cheat my feelings cos i saw it at suntec ! and i bought the purple one (: love it . it was on sale too so i'm doubly happy . then went to buy brazillian flipflops again cos it was on sale and was such a steal !

THURSDAY (22/2)
rushed home after tutorials today to get ready for dance and choir rehearsal at tct ! my tribe will be doing choir this weekend ! but went early to meet meixiu to practise dance first. i was gonna be super late cos i forgot my stupid wallet and i realised it only after i reached the station ! argh so i had to walk ALLLL the way back home and forth ! then rushed like a mad woman . but then when i reached tiong bahru and got on the bus . i noticed this girl kept looking at me and telling the girl beside her something . so i was like okay , do i look weird or what ? and the girl beside her was like covering her face as if she was sleeping but then i can see her mouth moving and i was like so weird man ! then suddenly the girl burst out laughing and it turned out it was MEIXIU ! omg ! and the girl beside her was actually her friend la ! and she purposely coverd herself ! humph haha ! gave me such a shock . but it was all funny ! oh wells anyway went to practise LORD OF ALL , the new song we learnt last week . i like the song man ! then just hanged around and went up to the audi till it was time for my rehearsal . sigh i feel quite sad not dancing cos like they say , my heart is still there , and it definitely is ! then we learnt the actions for the songs and all . i'm in the first row , and standing with sha ! cant wait for this sunday too . then i can also wear my purple pumps with my purple polo tee . HAHA ~ yeah it was fun today and after shawnie sent us home .

AT MAGIC BOX !

TODAY
was so so tired this morning i tell you . but dragged myself to school anyways . i seriously didnt look forward to it cos today there's PE and after school tutorial and then drama and then bio tuiion ! argh , but then HAHA I DIDNT GO FOR DRAMA ! cos well i was so tired sticky and dirty after the whole day and pe , and dont know how i ' m gonna last till night ! and besides i stained so had t go home and bathe and change too . so yeah thats why i'm home now (: anyways today was such a crazy day with dumb bio tutorial turned GY lessons and the stupid sylvie who kept hitting my nehs . and now i'm being called nehneh thanks to tessa . anyways yesterday was worse with talk about hairy stuff and all ! omg i think i'm gonna be late again of i dont go off now . LOVES !

2007-02-15T17:24:00.000+08:00

this week has been great so far (: well starting from saturday went for the reunion lunch thing at the really nice condo beside parkway . then after that went to meet mich to do some shpping in town . bought this fox racer back and earrings (: after that had chinese tuition at night . and our teacher did a pedicure for us ! HAHA then after we went swimming and sauna-ing later . omg and you know what ? we almost died in the sauna cos we fell asleep and when we rushed out we were feeling totally dizzy and i felt like i was gonna faint ! omg i'm never sleeping in there again ! then on sunday it was SOL and the usual . nothing much though cos nobody really came then . monday had drama again . tuesday had DOUBLE TUITION . 2 hours each , or else i could have made vday presents ! but oh well wednesday was vday (: after school went to plaza sing for a while then back home for tuition . and today left school early to go to jurong island for the learning journey trip . it was fun though . especially when we played scissors , paper , stone on the bouncy benches ! omg it was hilarious ! and we also tried to squeeze as many people in the discovery tunnel . omg felt like i couldnt breathe properly !~HAHA . the bus ride was super long but it was really comfortable so we all had a really nice afternoon nap . took pics too ! but shall upload it another day .

now i'm just waiting to go for dance later ! YAY finally after a very long time ! tmr i'm going to malaysia to celebrate CNY ! yay shopping too (:also found out that sherrie and shush are going there tmr too . maybe we'll see each other ! haha . and my dear partner sylvie is flying off tmr too so the class will be quite empty ! hah okay till then when i'm back with all my shopping bags !

our pedicured nails !

me lin kim and tiff

in the bus

2007-02-07T15:33:00.000+08:00

wth . today was such a stupid day . i've been pissed off so many times . especially about the commotion about my broken mirror . so , broken then broken la ! who cares about the bloody superstitious 7 years of bad luck . thats complete shit . so stop freakin trying to convince me its real . and stop bothering so much . its my mirror anyway . but then it seemed like the bad luck was true when my stupid history cher scolded me for talking , which was about the mirror . like hello ?! i wasnt the only one la ! and i am NOT the one always making the noise and trying to overpower YOUR voice . like wth . what a bitch . so sarcastic somemore . she just happen to see me at that moment what ! argh idiot idiot idiot ! and like thats not the only reason why my day is so extremely shitty . but wells anyway . i've decided that i shant be so nice anymore . it never works . trust me , i've experienced it ! nice girls finish last , so why should i be one ? but i mean of cos i'll still be nice , just not that sweet and kind . please , it sickens me . argh i really feel like just screaming my head off . its like the worst day of my life ! and i've thrown away the mirror . lets hope i've thrown away the stupid bad luck too . BUT STILL , i dont believe in it cos i know GOD wont do that to me . its just a freakin stupid superstition . its so dumb , i'll just be dumber if i believe in it . so there , my horrigible day . well just hope that tmr'll be much better .

i ate this darling to cheer myself up . well , it kinda worked i guess .

2007-02-06T16:28:00.001+08:00

its been long darling .
time passes so quickly so many things have happened !
anyways . the first cell outing since long long last saturday. we had dinner at fish and co (: yay but before that went to congre meeting and the word encounter thing .
saturday night ! our planned failed ! oh wells lets do it next time sha (:
then on sunday went for sol and all . kerin came to join us again . after service the four hung out again . but not for long though . then um yeah , basically my whole week was like really tiring .
todays only tuesday but i kept falling asleep in class . well oh well . i'm in need for some fun ! anyways . i MUST look forward to this weekend . reunion lunch on sat . getting through the whole week is tough ! especially when you have cca now . cos , oh yeah ! we've gone back to drama since friday. tired tired . we're now involved in the detention skit as stage managers or some sort .
oh and went for santification week on thursday night.
there's photo taking tmr ohno . must look my BEST .
this week . there were a few angry moments on the way . am i being too sensitive . argh but you people come take advantage of my niceness .well you'll so be seeing a different side of me .
then again , thats all for now . hello to the rest of this tiring week .

sha me and susie . at fish and co . its so blur , but then i dont have the rest yet.

my grilled sambal fish (:

2007-01-29T18:33:00.000+08:00

yesterday was an early day for me . well not exactly since i woke up late and susie even later . so in the end we were late for our classes so we took a cab there . all the way to bukitmerah ! saw adrina working away too . anyways . i feel so embarrassed . i was late and i didnt know where my class was so i made my grand entrance and again . argh tried to find a chair amidst all the staring and put it BEHIND everyone . cos no space what . humph i felt so blur . i didnt know anyone at all ! aiya but then in the end it was okay cos i moved . at least next week shawnie 'll accompany me (: then after we went to eat lunch together with other tribe mates and took the bus to expo . it was so funny cos we were talking and laughing about some stuffs . crazyyy la .

then after we reached ! and went to service together ! it was different cos some caucasian pastor preached . then like after service we had cell at bk instead . was like talking about our PLANS and all ! then halfway kerin came to join us after her prayer meeting ! andyeah this week's like SANTIFICATION WEEK at tc . omg i still rmb last year's one ! it was so funny and like the three of us adrina kerin and i sitting together and all . ohoh but its like at night . and i've got tuition and stuffs . oh wells we'll see . then we've planned a cell outing on saturday . like finally but then not everyone can make it which is like so sad la ! cos if no one's going , whats the point ! we planned to like go watch a movie or ktv ! HAHA . and then go eat a super nice dinner . like fish and co at parkway . i've been craving for that for ages . then might stayover at shawnie's place and go for sol together the next morning . but like when i think of this WHOLE week ahead of me i feel like crap ): anyways . in the end after cell caught up with rin for a bit . its been so long gosh im getting old .

anyway like today was school . sylvie didnt come so it was so boring ): anyways i'm so angry . cos after tutorials , me mich and lianne were planning to go for drama . we wanted to go to the cca office first to check something out . when suddenly this bitch appeared in front of us and told us that we're kicked out of drama and we dont have to go because of our ' atrocious attendance' ! how rude man . and you should see her expression and her tone . like she's some superior person when she's NOT ! argh . we were all so pissed . they should be honoured we're making an effort . okay whatever la but yeeaahh WHATEVER !so now mom's gonna help us do something about it . so at least we get the points . and please , we go for points , heck the passion !

we go for points , heck the passion !

2007-01-27T23:30:00.000+08:00

MY 100TH POST !

its been 5 days . and so many things happened . anyhows . i had the most sumptuous lunch ever with my mom at carnivore brazillian churrascaria in vivo (: i loved it ! the waitors would come over to your seat with a huge chunk of meat on this sword like thingy and slice the meat off with a huge knife to your plate ! and the best part is the meat was so tender and delicious ! mmhm . not your regular tough chewy kind . then wanted to spend my tangs voucher . didnt know whether to get that pink adidas watch . but mom said the white was nicer . i think so too . or sneakers ! i need sneakers . like from adidas or nike ! saw the respect me one and i like it ! but then hongkong's cheaper so mom'll get it for me there (: didnt buy the watch in the end ): but i think i want it ! HAHA . anyways the last few days was homework and all and back to school on friday . then had bio tuition . was early for once ! then dad came back yesterday too . hmmm . lots of things have been happening like tensions and all ! sigh but then . . its like NICOLE AND LINETTE ! ITS OUR LAST YEAR TOGETHER SO LETS LEAVE EVERYTHING BEHIND US AND TREASURE THIS FRIENDSHIP ! ALL THE TEARS AND QUARRELS WE WENT THRU , SO LETS NOT GIVE UP KAYS ! YOU GUYS MEAN SO MUCH TO ME AND SO DOES OUR SPECIAL THREE-SOME FRIENDSHIP !

and also everythings okay between me and sha too . YAY (: I LOVE YOU LOTS AND ALL ! wells . its church day tmr ! and finally everything is FINE AND BACK TO NORMAL . ohno i've got SOL 2 in the morning tmr ! and its ALLLL the way in TCT at 10am ! gosh but anyhows its been such a long time since i went so i'll just go maybe something interesting will happen ! HAHS .

2007-01-23T15:46:00.000+08:00

I AM SO BORED ):

i'm still stuck at home now doing nothing when everybody else is at bugis looking for ideas ! ARGH this is so sad ! my fever 's kinda gone cos of the medicine but my throat is still swollen and it hurts . sigh . and i cant enjoy already cos after this camp its probably gonna be back to serious studying in school . BOOO this is really unfair . cos i was looking forward to the shopping mall trip the most ! so irritating so annoying . maybe i can go tmr ? but then maybe its not THAT fun already right . OH WELL . there are a few things i gotta do . which is like to finish my homework and . . plan my schedule i guess . what an absolutely boring day for me ): BORING !

2007-01-22T16:03:00.000+08:00

I'M SICK ! SUPERR SICK !

i've got a horrigible high fever and a swollen throat and today until wednesday i'm supposed to be at camp ! and ours is in TP and probably the nicest camp so far and i cant go ): and for tmr we're supposed to go to a shopping mall to search for stuff cos its some entrepeurship camp and i dont think i can go cos the doctor says no and wants me to rest for the next few days cos he says the fever probably will not go away unitl wednesday ! HOW ? why do i have to be sick at the WRONG WRONG time ? then i miss out all the fun and next week when i'm well again its all back to studying like a pig . ARGHH . SO UNFAIR MAN ! anyways . there's so many things that happened this week and stuff ! hmm lets see .
monday - nothing much
tuesday - my first maths tuition . my new tutor is actually a hod of maths in like ST PATS ! and i tell you the way she charges is like 60BUCKS an hour which means its 1DOLLAR A MINUTE ! omg that means its 480dollars a month ! this is the MOST EXPENSIVE TEACHER I'VE EVER HAD . so i better score a1 for both my maths ! but then she's really good cos she teaches like a real teacher , which she is la . and she know mrs cheong too ~! HAHA

wednesday - met shawnie for tea in the afternoon . we went to eat at cafe cartel in TM cos i've got the student card which is registered as SHAWN'S CELL . so its like our cell group card ! HAHA cos we all ate there together last time (: talked to her about what happened last sunday . and yeah felt much better already . it also made me not give up hope on the cell , which is thankfully good (:

thursday - after school went shopping with mom , ever since ages ! HAHA went to bugis and ate at this v8 movie cafe , they were showing take the lead . then went to find my capri pants . and finally got it and another shorts from bum equipment . SALE (: YAY . then decided that i shant go for dance at night cos it was raining real heavily too . then tried to persuade mom again that if i dont go for a month , then i could dance for g12 conference instead ! and she agreed ! YAY i can dance for g12 , together with everyone else ! (:

friday - went for TP'S open house after school today with the whole class . i think TP'S really really nice and so appealing that i feel like just going there instead ! and they gave out so many freebies ! food and all ! but then my stupid bad was killing me ! and my shoulders were aching so badly that i had bag lines on the skin and woke up the neck morning with a shoulder and neck ache ! argh anyways saw a few people i recognised too . then went for bio tution at night . we were late again man ! oh well .

saturday - had CIP in the morning . had to do this flag day thing for some malay orphanage . but then HAHA after we collected the tins , we went to macs and ate a nice breakfast and headed of to tampines to do some collecting before we go and relax . after collecting much , went to orchard to see if we could get more . buyt then after walking for a few minutes we decided to leave cos there were so many other schools doing the same flag day . didnt think we had a chance so we left for bugis . and ALSO saw so many other people doing the same thing as us so we decided to just go back inside the mall and walk around . but manage to get some bugis money though . then after went to eat pastamania for lunch ! mmhm yum . then left the place at 130 ! and we were supposed to be back then ! but oh wells . then tiffy told me she saw our old tution friend ! but too bad argh , i didnt manage to catch him . then after went for chem tuition with lianne . we tried so hard to make them refund us cos we wanted to stop asap cos we totally dont understand anything during the lessons . but it was so unsuccessful so we just went . then after tuition had chinese tuition with mich at home . argh what a long day . but cheena tuition was hilarious manzxz ! then after that i was so tired i fell asleep after dinner and woke up in the middle of the night to find out i had a super high fever .

sunday - didnt go church ! SIGH . was sick sick sick . my fever was so bad that it went up to 40degrees . no kidding . spent the whole day sleeping or either doing nothing . ohh wells .

2007-01-14T20:29:00.000+08:00

TODAY IS THE WORST SUNDAY OF MY LIFE.

before everthing i loved sundays . my fav day of the week . or rather bcos it was church day ! the day i would get to see all my fav people and have the most fun of the week . but now everythings changed . everything different . its no longer like that . actually it already wasnt like that for quite a long time . but then cos i was busy with dance and all i never really got to experience what it was really like until today . i knew for very long that my cell grp wasnt in order . only I felt it wasnt . today i went to church ALONE . for the FIRST TIME in my entire life . you know why ? cos all the ones i was close to left and the ones that i'm close to now have drifted apart . then when i see other people waiting for each other at the stations , bus stops etc . i feel like , at least they have someone to wait for . then i would wish that if only it could be like last time again when we would all go to church together . i felt really pathetic . like sooo wth . then its like i have to go into hall 10 all by myself . i mean there's nothing wrong with that but then its SUPPOSED to be like everyone in your cell group meet up then go inside together as a whole big group right ? it was ONCE like that , but not anymore . then when i went inside . so little people was there . as in my cell grp . the rest DIDNT COME or HAVENT COME ! like what is that ! then i started feeling really SHIT . that kind of SHIT feeling . then i saw her and i kept thinking about what she did . and i realised i still feel so so angry with her . to the extent of i feel like i hate her to the core . i still cant believe she actually wanted to do something like that ! it was so so mean . i felt damn pissed and angry . and i kept on thinking WHY is my cell group like that ? why does she have to do that ? why do i have to stop my dance ? why why why . and i couldnt stop tearing during worship . i felt it was so unfair . then when i see other tribes and cells so vibrant and united . and then i look at mine . i feel so dead . some people tell me that we shouldnt compare . but then ISN'T EVERY CELL AND TRIBE SUPPOSED TO BE LIKE THAT ?FUN , VIBRANT , EXCITING , UNITED ? AND INVOLVED IN CHURCH ? that is a role model i'm comparing it to a role model which we are supposed to be like . i'm not trying to say we should be exactly like them . but in similar ways . cos after all , we ARE one whole big family of networks .

so today throughout the service i was extremely down . i even wished for the pastor to hurry up and finish so that we can all go home . but then , today pastor eugene said that we should never quit . but i've endured it for so long i feel like quitting . i felt like , i dont ever wanna go church . or rather , go to church with OTHER people . i dreaded the time after service . cos i didnt wanna see her face or even talk to her . i didnt know how i was gonna handle it . but then it came . and then everyone gathered outside in hall 9 . i felt quite stupid just standing there doing nothing . actually it was okay until i heard that person's voice talking and talking non stop . i felt so freaking pissed with her again . after SO LONG . I DIDNT KNOW YOU WERE STILL SUCH A HYPOCRITE . AFTER ALL THE TIMES WE WENT THROUGH AND YOU'RE STILL LIKE THAT . YOU SAY WHY AM I ALWAYS LIKE THAT ? THE FACT IS I'M LIKE THAT TOWARDS YOU . AND YOU ARE ALWAYS THE CAUSE OF ME BEING SO FREAKING UNHAPPY . then i seriously couldnt take it anymore i felt like i was gonna burst of anger so i told my leader i wanted to leave NOW . cos i know i wont be able to take what was going to happen later on . so i went to wait for my mom at the taxi stand . and shawnie accompanied me . at least she tried to make me happy and take my mind of things .

but when i went into the car , it was no better . mom asked me why i didnt go for cell today . so i told her i didnt feel like and i was pissed . then i started telling her how i had to go church alone and how my cell grp is . then i ahvent even finsh saying and she started telling me how i should be a warrior of light and all . hello ? i dont wanna hear all these now ! here i am telling you about my problems and so fast you wanna tell me how i sould overcome it and how i shouldnt compare my cell grp ? you dont even know the real reason or the circumstances i'm going thru yet la ! then we were arguing and she kept on talking and talking and talking that i felt i was gonna burst so i broke down again . i know she means well of me but then let me talk first la ! then she asked me to tell her what happened again and of cos by then i wouldnt feel like talking or saying anything . i just wanted to be LEFT ALONE but she kept on pressing me . argh . it was really the worst sunday i tell you . i dont feel like talking about this wonderful subject ever again . what i've said here is quite vague . and you dont know other things that happen or the real circumstances so dont tell me i'm wrong or conclude anything . i have NO MOOD TO HEAR ALL THAT . i dont have a mood for anything ever again . next week i'll be dancing . the VERY LAST TIME UNTIL AFTER O'S ! at least it wont be so bad . i hope next sunday will be better , a good and memorable one . until after 10 LONG MONTHS . but i've also realised something . shawnie told me as i'm stopping dance for 10 whole months bcos of O'S . let me make very good use of these 10 months and do well for my O's so that my SACRIFICE of dance will be to GOOD USE ! so yeah i'm gonna work hard and make sure that i do well . anyway nothing will change that today is the worst sunday of my life .